How do I deal with a boyfriend that is addicted to pain pills and alcohol?!
Question: How do I let my resentment go? How do I let him know that I do not want our 5 month old son to grow up and think that it is normal to drink every single day?
Answers: How do I let my resentment go? How do I let him know that I do not want our 5 month old son to grow up and think that it is normal to drink every single day?
To all the people who say dump him, you are very cruel. I don't know if this guy is a good guy when off the booze or pills, or if he is a jerk. If he is a jerk, dump him by all means. But if he is a good guy when off the stuff or in general, think about giving him a chance or helping him. This is hard to deal with I know.
This man is not happy and I fear the pressure of being a father and life in general has eaten away at him and he obviously can't handle it so he is using drugs to numb the pain.
Try to get him help and arrange it for him and take him in. Who knows maybe he will change his ways. He might not be ready to yet though, or not think he has a problem, and in that case, your going to have to let him go.
Drinking every day is more damaging than abusing painkillers such as morphine. It is extremely hard on your body, and frankly, the drinking will kill him before the painkillers.
Does your boyfriend have any sort of physical pain which could be motivating him to drink and use pain medicine? I suffer from health problems and at one point I had no doctor who would help me and after years of no help, I decided to just self medicate with alcohol and pain pills (not at the same time).
Anyways, your boyfriend has serious issues which need to be dealt with and this kind of problem does not get dealt with fast. It's not something someone can just stop instantly, it is a habit and a powerful one at that. Withdrawal from alcohol use can actually kill you! It is unsafe to stop drinking. Your boyfriend probably gets very ill when he stops drinking. And to top it off, he is addicted to pain pills, which is also hard to stop but usually not lethal, although rarely it can be lethal and cause heart attacks.
If he wants to change, he needs to see a phsyician and this doctor needs to help him taper off of the alcohol with medications that can aid him in this without having the withdrawal endager his life. They will give him things like Valium, Klonopin or Clonidine in some cases to help ease the pain of this addiction. I would not advice withdrawing from the painkillers at the same time of the alcohol.
The alcohol addiction needs to be stomped out FIRST...then the pain killer addiction must be next, because it is less severe, and frankly, someone on alcohol is more difficult to live with than someone who is on painkillers and who can "assumingly" function.
This is a double addiction and it needs to be fixed, NOW if possible. Otherwise this is going to go on and on for life and he'll never stop. He's going to miss all the moments in his childs life and then one day once he gets off the drugs, he's going to feel horrible and wish he didn't piss his life away!
Dump him.
He's not worth it.
divorce
Find a new boyfriend, and thank goodness that you didn't marry him
tell him "IF YO ULOVE ME BABE THEN YOU WOULD GO TO REHAB"
That is a very serious addiction. If he overdosed himself on that stuff then there would be serious problems. You should get him medical help.
And for everyone else that says dump him, she can't do that right now because they have a young child together.
JOIN AL ANON!!!! This is a group that is specifically for the loved ones of drug and alcohol addicts. They will help you, and you can share your painful experiences with them and get advice on how to help yourself, your child, and your boyfriend.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.h...
Ive been in the same situation. The sad things is that all the effort you put into encouraging him and supporting him, he will not reciprocate. He does not want to change and no matter how hard you try he can only change when and if he wants to. My advice would be to leave him and bring up your son in a stable environment. Who knows? That might be all it takes for your boyfriend to change. Good luck.
Dont dump him, get him inpatient help tell him he has a choice. Rehab or you are leaving him untill he gets help!
You don't deal with it, you take your son and walk away!
Take your 5 month old son and leave. Send the strongest message you can...it's us or the drugs and the alcohol. Force him into treatment or don't come back. It's not about you or your boyfriend - it's about your baby. Do it. kjl
Tough love, only way and its the most difficult, cruel to be kind, hard line.
ridiculous person, he your beau.
ask him to think over and may be you could demonstrate something to help him get over it.
if it does not go well, go separate ways.
there are still sober gentlemen out there who use their brain rather than to succumb to peer pressure.
Just be straight up with him, sit him down, talk to him, tell him you want him to clean up for you and the family. If he can't do that, then get him enrolled in some sort of rehab program to fix the problem. If he is totally unwilling or unable to change then leave him because that's something nobody should have to deal with.
The best thing to do is ask him to go to rehab or get some help if that dont work then just dump him cause my sister was the same and it isn't easy to get over.
Write him a I care about our child's future and until you can change your behavior letter, it is better that we are not around, I would tell him how much you want to be a part of his life, but that he can be the only one to get help. You are not leaving him for another man but for the future man that your son will become. Then cry your last tear leave the letter and you and your son go and be safe somewhere and pray for this man.
Lay down the law. Tell him he must start going to AA meetings and get a sponsor or you and the baby will no longer be a part of his life until he gets clean and sober. You can go to AL NON meetings for support and you can take the baby with you. They are held everyday in many locations. You can look them up on the web, in the local paper or phone book. It's not going to get any better until he hits rock bottom.
Pain pills and alcohol are a bad mix, they can even be fatal.
He needs help... if he isn't willing to do it for you and your son, then you must ask yourself if it is really worth it to be with him.
Don't let your son grow up in that environment, he will have problems of his own if you do.
It is not going to get better until he hits rock bottom. The hardest thing to do is the only thing left. GET OUT NOW!
He either stops at that point or it gets worse. Not your problem. You and your child deserve better.
Get rid of him. He will pull you down to his level.
Well coming from experience and being with my ex for 6 years of pure H*** I wish I would have left him the second I knew there was a problem it would have saved me years of agony... Good luck you will need it... be strong you can do it alone... be happy... your son does not need to see this... For his sake do the right thing it is your obligation as his mother... I must tell you leaving my ex was the best thing I ever did... It took some time to heal and move on but I did very well without him he held me back in so many ways... I was always consumed with his addictions and problems I did not work on my own goals and issues... And believe me don't believe their promises of sobriety it does not happen... shattered dreams and empty promises... get out before you waste to much time as I did....
I am new to this so excuse me---I am SORRY for answering a question with a question but that was my only way in for some reason the other options wouldn't work. I am probably in the same boat as you. I am desperate, two kids, they think it's absolutely normal to see their father drink beer while driving, well, anytime he's not at work (he's so darned Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde that he actually has been able to NOT consume during his long work days at all). He is not abusive, but the neglect from his not really being here to participate (he's here in body) has literally driven me into the ground. I want to escape
That is a very difficult situation. I was addicted to pain killers and alcohol. I had to get help. It nearly killed me. I have permanent damage from this, but my body has over ridden this and functions better than ever. He really needs help and love. There may be an underlying problem that needs resolved, that was my case. You need to look at the safety of all involved
well your name is frustrated wife so i am guessing that it is actually your husband...if so wait until he is sober and get his attention some how!!! tell him this stuff and if you have the money to bring him to a rehab place then do it when he is high wait until he goes to sleep and drag him to the rehab place...I would.....but my husband would never do those things soooo...i really have no idea
As a mother of 4 I see were you are coming from.
However when it comes to an addict even though we try to tell them they are in the wrong for this or that reason they WILL NOT see it or hear us out. Due to the only thing on their mind is when is my next pill or drink to drown out my own sorrow or pain.
What we have to do with an addict is find the root to why they are popping pills and drinking and then go from there. 9 out of 10 an addict will not stop unless THEY WANT TO or sometime drastic happens to them or someone they love.
I would try and find out why he is doing this and work with him or fixing the enter problem then the others should stop. If not then I would take my son and move on.
I hope this helps
You've already answered your own question! Children reflect the sins of the Parent. Momma & Papa goat eat grass, Baby goat will eat grass. It's the same concept. Leave the situation with no guilt. If he is ready to be Papa Goat he will get help and grow up. Be strong for your baby. You need all your energy for him. If you are stressed-he is stressed too. Good Luck and BE STRONG!