Please help me understand Bi-polar disorder?!
Question: My sister in-law got married last year to a guy non of us knew, as a matter of fact we didnt even know she had a boyfriend when she told us on a Thursday she was getting married the following Monday. Now its a year later and its come to light that this guy has Bi-polar disorder and likes to go on and off his medication every 3 months or so. My sister in-law is very ill. She has a slow growing cancer in her kidney's and on her spine. She is only 27 years old. This guy will not work more then 10 hours a week. She works 20. They both collect S.S. benefits but are really broke and are always barrowing money. When he goes off his meds he talks about crazy things and gets really weird. He calls me about strange things, and wants to come to our house at all hours of the night to "talk". We have 4 small kids and I am really scared that he is going to do something crazy. What? I dont know, he just scares me. Could someone give me some insite into the sickness, I know nothing about it.
Answers: My sister in-law got married last year to a guy non of us knew, as a matter of fact we didnt even know she had a boyfriend when she told us on a Thursday she was getting married the following Monday. Now its a year later and its come to light that this guy has Bi-polar disorder and likes to go on and off his medication every 3 months or so. My sister in-law is very ill. She has a slow growing cancer in her kidney's and on her spine. She is only 27 years old. This guy will not work more then 10 hours a week. She works 20. They both collect S.S. benefits but are really broke and are always barrowing money. When he goes off his meds he talks about crazy things and gets really weird. He calls me about strange things, and wants to come to our house at all hours of the night to "talk". We have 4 small kids and I am really scared that he is going to do something crazy. What? I dont know, he just scares me. Could someone give me some insite into the sickness, I know nothing about it.
I'm bipolar [formerly known as "manic-depressive"] so I have a pretty good feel for what your sister-in-law's husband is going through.
Bipolar people can go through some really huge mood swings - from really tremendous highs to devastating depressions. The highs are indescribably fabulous; the lows can be life-threatening... and therein lies the problem.
The highs are addictive... and while high, the depressions are completely forgotten.
The opposite is NOT true. Remembering the highs - and feeling the difference - only makes the depressions worse.
Going on drugs to smooth out such an emotional curve is - I've been told - similar to trying to get a heroin addict to quit "cold turkey". It can happen, but the bipolar person needs to remain constantly on his/her meds until he/she "forgets" how good the highs felt. In other words, he/she will probably be on meds for the rest of his/her life.
It sounds as if your sister-in-law's husband is pretty typical. If so, he's unlikely to be a safety problem for you while he's "high" [He's high when he wants to talk at 3:00 am] or when he's depressed [He'll "disappear" for awhile, sinking into his own misery.]
That doesn't mean that he can't be dangerous. He can hurt you (or himself) physically when high without intending to do so and won't know that he's done it. [He can feel pain, but pain simply doesn't matter!]
When he's fully depressed he's probably NOT dangerous to anyone but himself. Suicide is a distinct possibility.
If there's any real danger to you it's during the transition times when he's coming down off of a high. As it starts it's simply an irritant to him - he's fighting to get back "up" even as his body is bringing him down - but then he'll get angry at himself as he realizes that he's losing that fight.
It is not inconceivable that he could redirect his rage at himself towards someone else given sufficient provocation. The problem is that his definition of "sufficient provocation" differs as his mood changes, so you will never know when you've crossed the threshold.
Anytime he calls you and wants to come over to your house, ask him if he has taken his meds that day. Refuse to let him visit on any days that he says "No". If you discover that he's lied to you ONCE - it'll be obvious - tell him to go home and to NOT COME BACK WITHOUT HIS MEDS IN HIS HAND.
When he does come back with his meds, you personally watch him take them. EVERY time.
If he refuses, don't let him into your house.
your sister would have a hard time finding a caring, or even half caring guy considering her illness. i'm sorry for your sister, but if i were in your shoes i would try hard to accept who your sister has chosen. she needs companionship. bi-polar is a mood disorder where they can be depressed for days or weeks and on the other hand become energized and hyperfueled, even dangerous to those around him. he needs to take his meds.
Bipolar Disorder is nothing to mess around with. I have it, millions of people have it. Bipolar means at both ends of the pole. Depression, and Mania. Mania, racing thoughts, spending sprees, etc, Depression, sadness, moodiness, etc. If you feel that this guy is harassing you and your family, asking for money, etc., do NOT give in. You should help her sister if you would like because she's family to you and she's sick. This man has to learn that he can't be getting a free ride. Or visit you when he wants. He needs to learn to take his medications and not stop. Please, get a counselor/therapist/ other source to help you out with this. I think this is necessary to get him back on track.
Bipolar is characterized by periods of mania (highs) and depression. Some don't want to take medication because they miss the highs. They are usually energetic, effusive, may squander money, begin many projects, and form relationships quickly...in general just very erratic behavior. When they are depressed, men often become irritable and angry, and seem to be a completely different person.
I recently split with a guy who I think had cyclothymia, in which the highs don't result in quite as much unpredictable behavior. He was charming, energetic, complex, talked a lot, and was always making plans and working on projects...after a few months he seem to crash, and just burn down. He isolated himself for several weeks and spend a lot of money during that time. After he contacted me again, he began snapping at me, was critical and impatient, cold and distant, and did nothing but watch television or stay on the computer.
He had told me he had periods of depression, anorexia and other problems during his life. He also had been divorced 5 times. I don't think he recognized the other side of his illness as abnormal. He was unmedicated, and although I tried to talk to him about it, he refused to seek help.
I no longer have any contact with him, and really worry that I did not do enough to try to help.
Your brother-in-law's erratic behavior indicates he needs medication. It is difficult to deal with this illness, and unless your sister is very much in love, with her problems she may find it too stressful a life. You should be firm when he comes to your house at odd hours, and tell him you are busy and it is not convenient to visit. She has taken on a difficult relationship, but you do not have to let it become your problem, be as supportive as you can, but don't let him complicate your life.
Bipolar (manic-depressive) Disorder is very serious. Men are less likely to have it but it is not unheard of. A lot of people with serious and even mild mental illnesses tend to go through stages of going off meds. Some tend to think they are doing fine so they stop taking their meds. They get this sense of feeling normal and/or feel they don't need the meds any more and are slow to realize when the symptoms come back. Bipolars often can get into serious trouble with the law. They tend to have grandiose ideas. At times can even become paranoid to a point that they may seem to be schizophrenic. Bipolars as with many other mental illnesses also show a great ability to the arts.Many bipolars can be great painters, singers, poets and so on.When one is in a manic phase they can seem sporadic in thought and speech can be easily agitated can be very impulsive. In the depressive phase they can be sleeping long periods of time and can be suicidal as well as aggressive towards others. Many bipolars are unable to maintain a job for very long and expectations of them being stable is very unrealistic. Bipolars never get better with age but age can slow them down as with anyone. If they can maintain there medication then they are doing pretty good but it is very difficult for bipolars to have any stability.This is what the disease is ,its not by choice.
Bipolar disorder is an illness, a medical condition. It most often starts with depression. People with bipolar disorder typically experience recurrent episodes of mood swings, or severe changes in mood and behaviour. Bipolar disorder is characterised by these mood changes from an elevated and irritable mood, mania or highs, to a sad and hopless depressed moods or lows. some people may have high and low episodes or mood changes over a matter of days, some may have periods of normal mood in between. The frequency of these moods swings and duration varies from person to person. Over time the interval between episodes often decreases. The manic episodes typically have rapid onset. Some people may only experience the manic symptoms.
Some Symptoms of manic episodes include
very happy, over friendly, unrealistic, over confident, believe you are god, irrated with people, unable to sleep sometimes going days with out sleep. hearing voices that others cant hear, full of exciting and new ideas. Behaving in a reckless manner, drinking, gambling, excessively spending money.
Depressive episode
Depressed, sad, cranky, worthless or sense of guilt, low self esteem, unwell, suicidal, increase in sleep, loss of appetite, profound fatigue, find it hard to tackle daily living tasks, difficulty sorting out problems just to name a few things.
It is a serious problem and both need help, empathy and love.
All I can tell you is that all people that have it arent scary.I have it as well as 3 kids, plus I'm married. I would be concerned and go with your gut. I know a bunch of people who have it and they are married with kids. Nobody I know wants to come over at night to talk. Our family's come first and the disease comes second. Some people with Bypolar cant work at all, but they dont come up with strange things to say. We are people with a chemical imbalance.We are either very happy or very sad. Theres a little bit more to it , for the most part , most people are type 2. The people you see walking down the street yelling at someone who isn't there they are type 1bypolar. They need to be on serious meds.If SSI said that he can work , even if its 10hours a week, I dont think hes the type 1 bypolar. Go to WEB MD.com for more info.
Enter that term in Wikipedia, Google, the WebFerret web browser, or your own. See the BIPOLAR SUPPORTER website in section 10, at ezy build, below. My standard post follows: See bipolar disorder, at ezy build, below, in section 10, and take the quiz, if unsure, and if the results are positive, ensure you get an expert diagnosis from a mental health professional, not doctors, who are much better dealing with physical ailments, and don't diagnose complex disorders like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder often enough to develop any real expertise. Bipolar disorder usually involves major mood swings, which occur without apparent cause, and often over many months, or a matter of years, rather than days, as with most people (unless rapid cycling). I'd take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements daily, replacing 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements in the winter months, (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult, to achieve. If you decide to use allopathy, (modern Western medicine) I recommend trying Lithium Carbonate, or Lithium Citrate. (regular tests are necessary, for these) before trying the other mood stabilisers, but if you aren't good at taking medications regularly, drinking adequate water, and keeping up your salt intake, something else may suit you better. Check out "lithium" at http://www.drugs.com/, and http://crazymeds.us/ and always research medications first, (read, and keep the labels/information sheets) so you will be aware of the risks, and on the lookout for side effects. (Personally, if I wasn't bipolar type 1, and didn't experience hallucinations, or serious delusional states, I know I'd first try the orthomolecular, and Omega 3 fish oil supplements, vitamins, minerals; a herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, and a mostly raw food diet, for several months. I'd aso eat in accordance with my "nutritional type". Enter that term in the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com/ ). If not considerably improved, after several months, consult your primary mental health care provider: you may be one of those who need medications to prevent this progressive illness from getting even worse. If bipolar type 1, an antipsychotic medication may also be needed. Everyone should take the Omega 3 supplements, or preferably "krill oil" for its other health benefits: use the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com/ . Some people refuse medication, using supplements, and a selective, mostly raw food diet (I do not recommended trying this, if bipolar 1, unless you aren't troubled by hallucinations, or delusional states). Maintain the treatments for the depressive phase, in section 2, at: http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Some topics in section 10 include: treating bipolar disorder with supplements, vitamins, minerals, and herbal remedies. As with all medications, there are risks, and the possibility of side effects, which is why I inform people of the alternatives, to see if they can cope sufficiently well , without resorting to medications. Don't use medications and supplements together, without medical advice, except for Omega 3, which is safe. Some topics from section 10: BIPOLAR DISORDER TREATMENT: SUPPLEMENTS~~~
HERBS FOR BIPOLAR: TREATING BIPOLAR DISORDER WITH HERBS~~~
VITAMINS FOR BIPOLAR: TREATING BIPOLAR DISORDER WITH VITAMINS~~~
MINERALS FOR BIPOLAR: TREATING BIPOLAR DISORDER WITH MINERALS. ~~~ Print, or save to favorites/bookmarks, and refer him, and your sister. She should eat in accordance with her "nutritional type", at www.mercola.com (also enter "cancer" in the searchbar, there). Sometimes, Chinese medicine helps, when all others fail, but some have dangerous levels of contaminants, such as lead, so it's important to find a trustworthy source. It's important to be optimistic, and maintain a positive attitude: the alternative is likely to have an adverse effect, not only emotionally, but physically, as well. Tell him to only call between specific hours; possibly turn the phone off, or reverse it, in its cradle. Unless he has a history of violence, you should have little to fear besides annoyance.