I'm hurting, please help?!
Question: So i found out that my ex has been toying with me emotions for his entertainment. He's been lying to me and feeding me some serious Bull.
I am angry and hurt because he would do this to me. And secondly I am extremely pissed and upset with myself for believing it because i wanted to.
I considered him my first love...we were together for a very long time.
I have som info that could get him into some deep trouble (again) and I'm fighting with myself because one side of me wants to be vindictive and the other side says be the bigger person. But I hurt so much and I am infuriated that someone would do this to me, my head is clouded at the moment so i'm not sure what i should do...I've dealt with the emotional and pyschological problems hes given me for a year and a half while he was breezing through life...
Please help.
Answers: So i found out that my ex has been toying with me emotions for his entertainment. He's been lying to me and feeding me some serious Bull.
I am angry and hurt because he would do this to me. And secondly I am extremely pissed and upset with myself for believing it because i wanted to.
I considered him my first love...we were together for a very long time.
I have som info that could get him into some deep trouble (again) and I'm fighting with myself because one side of me wants to be vindictive and the other side says be the bigger person. But I hurt so much and I am infuriated that someone would do this to me, my head is clouded at the moment so i'm not sure what i should do...I've dealt with the emotional and pyschological problems hes given me for a year and a half while he was breezing through life...
Please help.
The hardest thing to do is to let go. I was with my first love for 4 1/2 years and he was very abusive. I have been married for 15 years and I have a wonderful husband and beautiful children and I am very happy. BUT - I still have nightmares about my first boyfriend. I never got "closure" and I am still very resentful and angry for what he did to me. But, I'm really working hard to try and let go and I am really trying to believe in my heart that what goes around comes around. I know you want to get revenge, but it will only bitter YOUR soul - not his. BE the bigger person and just let go. Walk away and know that you are a better person and you are better off without him. One thing that has helped me is that I know how happy and fullfilled I am with my life - and I know because of they type of person my ex is, he will NEVER be truly happy with himself and he will never find the happiness with a spouse because he's evil inside. Good luck.
kick him in the butt
forget about him completely by removing bitterness only you will be blessed with a new and better guy.
The Bard said that revenge is best served up cold.
Wait until you have survived the hurt, then if you want to, take him down. I have found over the years that being charitable to ashwholes is a waste of time, later to be regretted. Don't hesitate to to be vindictive, you get no points for it.
If I were in your situation I would cut all ties with him. That means not answering the phone when he calls and not addressing him in public. (If you happen to run into eachother) Basically treat him as if he doesn't exist and then believe it yourself. He doesn't exist! Anyone who is only out to hurt you does not deserve the time of day or even a second thought. Forget about revenge the best revenge you can get is to move on with your life and be happy without him. Get yourself to a shrink and get on some meds if your problems are serious. Thats what I did and I've been great ever since. Take comfort in your friends, take care of yourself, and most importantly, FORGET ABOUT HIM!
you do not need him, i had a man do that to me and i did not leave him and now my mental health is not good and i have nightmares all the time of things he fed into my head. please just get out of it cause what he is doing is an evil thing. a persons mind is not something to toy with, it is very fragile. i used to be a smart outgoing person, now im a hermit and i hate my life and i dont talk to anyone anymore. please think of yourself for a minute. -k-
It sounds like you need to leave this guy. If he has been toying with your emotions for his entertainment, he is not the person you fell in love with. That person is an illusion. Unless he changes his ways and respects you as a human being, you will only perpetuate a lie by loving that same illusion. Unfortunately, we are all creatures of habit, and changing ones ways, especially when one has gotten away with it for a long time, is difficult to do.
I suggest taking control by sitting down with him and specifically articulate what it is he is doing, and what changes you want made, and how much leverage you're willing to give him. Perhaps make a written list beforehand. Do not use the information you have against him as a form of coercion, that will not produce love.
Don't be upset at yourself over this. You aren't the one that did anything wrong, it was him. Giving one's trust in another is something very generous and special, and good! If that trust is violated by the recipient, it is that person's offense alone.
As far as the question about getting him in trouble. If it isn't something illegal, I wouldn't do it just to be vengeful. Wait until a cooler head prevails before making the decision on how to treat that information.
If this information is about an illegal activity, you are obligated to inform legal authorities lest you will be considered an accomplice. Explain to the authorities if you have any concerns you have about him harming you.
I know you are hurting. It sounds like you were in a bad situation. The best help you can give yourself is a better future by either insisting on change or estranging this fellow.
Good luck, I wish the best for you.
He is your ex. Walk away. Block his number. Delete his e-mails. Do some emotional spring cleaning.
Get on with your life and tell him to LEAVE YOU ALONE.
Tell him you are OVER HIM.
(And then just wait for time to actually heal the wounds).
Stephy, I agree with the people who say leave him alone, take care of yourself and get on with your life. Yeah, it hurts. Sometimes it hurts to be alive. But the hurt eventually goes away. This too shall pass. The best revenge is good living as has been previously said. You are loved and have the capacity to love. Be grateful for that.
Earf!
P.S. - I get the impression that you never married the guy. If that's the case, be glad you didn't enter into a contract with the guy!