Why does my dad act like this(he is very hurtful)?!


Question: He calls my mom a whore and a *****. I don't do that great he acts like I'm stupid. He has told me that he is tired of me being around. I'm done crying myself to sleep because of him. He never says sorry. I'm starting to hate him. I can't talk to him if you get him mad he yells at you. The way he acts has really hurt my sister. She has started cutting herself because she can't deal with our father.


Answers: He calls my mom a whore and a *****. I don't do that great he acts like I'm stupid. He has told me that he is tired of me being around. I'm done crying myself to sleep because of him. He never says sorry. I'm starting to hate him. I can't talk to him if you get him mad he yells at you. The way he acts has really hurt my sister. She has started cutting herself because she can't deal with our father.

Your original question was: "why does he act that way".
My dear, it is not an "act". It is all he can do/be ,because of what he is or perceives he is.
Clearly, he has problems.
I truly don't know of anything you can do except to understand that he is wrong. YOu, your sister, your Mom are not bad or whatever he incinuates.
He may have a drug and/or alcohol problem.
That does not mean I excuse or condone his behaviours.
If you are in school, please contact an advisor and/or counselor.
If you are out of school, try t find a community service that has counselor and charges little if nothing.

Hang in there

Awww hun that's a yucky situation :( Have you tried talking to your mom about it? Have you told her that you can't live in an abusive situation like that? You should start talking to God one night, seriously! He can make you feel so much better because He loves you so uncomprehensibly. He knows what your dad does and He knows what it makes you feel like and he cares. He wants you to talk to Him. It's definitely better than cutting right? C'mon He's waitin for ya :)

Im really sorry this is happening to you. got yahoo messenger or msn add me jesselee000@yahoo.com or msn jetlee1983@hotmail.com for msn we can talk.

Your dad sounds like a very unhappy man.. You need to talk to your Mom about this, and tell her how hard it is for you. Its her job as a parent to protect you from being treated this way. It sounds like she is being abused to, at least verbally. If your Mom doesnt take you seriously, talk to a teacher or counsellor at school. Your family needs help now..

You need to do family counciling and your father..well..he needs to go to anger management classes. If this continues you need to call the police (forgot the name of the people that deal with these problems sorry :\) they'll help.
Hope this helps... :)

I can't imagine...
My Daughters are the dearest things in the world to me and my Wife.
In my wildest dreams I can't imagine hurting them for any reason.
I suggest that you get your sister and move out.

get out of there and take your sister with you!

your dad has mental problems. since your 23 you dont have to live there but since you choose to live there you will just have to put up with him until you decide to move.

Well.....do you want this to continue? 2 options: 1: tape everything, (you can do it even with your web cam) and call the police or the kids help phone...and I'm telling you this because even if you go out of tha house you are going to leave your mother and sister behind, and well it is obvious that your mom didn't do anything about this, and i don't know her reasons, but you better do somehing before something even worst happen...it is better to have the authorities to intervine because your mom hasn't done anything yet.....and 2: talk to your mom, and have her to understand what is happening ... or seek help rom anohe relatives...

Darlin', been there and done that. My dad was mentally abusive, and to this day I don't really think he realizes it. My mom was also mentally abusive and played tons of mind games with me.
You have to ask yourself something: Am I really going to let someone ruin my life?
You are old enough to stand up and tell him to stop. And as for your sister, you need to tell somone about it and report it. Her safety should be important enough for her to find help, even if it makes her angry.
And if your dad hits you? That is grounds enough to make a report to police and explain what has happened, and then get him some help or therapy.
Both of my parents had hard lives, and that's why I was thier channel. maybe your dad went through a lot... you neverknow.

i'm sorry about your situation. my dad is the same but i'm only 11 and have two youger siblings. you have to leave. no matter what. you're better off living with your sis alone. you're not married to him, your mom is. i wish you and your family the best.
~teajay23~

I'm a dad, and love my kids dearly. Clearly your dad is a very unhappy man. He probably feels like loser, and blames everone else for it. He feels trapped supporting a family finiancially that can't or won't support him emotiinally. He compensates for his feelings of inadequacy by lashing out at everyone around him. It's not you that needs to move out, it's he that has to go and start a new life. Maybe in time, when he grows up (you appear to be more mature than he is), you and he can rekindle your relationship. I hope you and your sister and mom have the resources to support yourselves. Whatever you do, stay in school; go to college. Stay away from drugs and loser friends. Prove to your dad that you can rise above his abuse and make a success of your life.

How does your mom handle your dad on a daily basis?
Does she just put up with the degrading words towards her?
Your dad needs some counseling maybe family counseling would be good. Does your dad ever say he is sorry for the things he says towards your mom and sister including yourself? I'd ask him on a good day, when it would be a good time to have a family meeting and discuss to him in an assertive way how you feel. If he would get too mad, that's why I suggest family counseling to work through all the issues.
As for your sister attempting to cut herself, she needs professional or christian counseling as well to work through the issues from your dad.

My mother is like that. I am 22 and I am living at home because I am trying to save up as well. My mother has told me im ugly ,I smell like ****( whcih I dont), she wished I would die and she wished she never had me. She always puts me down. When I say I am smart she says no your not your stupid. lol she just came in the room right now and started yelling at me. Sometimes it makes me laugh. When I would say I have nice hair she would say no you dont, your brother has nice hair. She even tried to kill me. She went to work in the mornig and left the gas on the stove on for 12 hours while I was sleeping. That wasnt a mistake. She has never liked me ever since I was young. She is not a good parent at all. I cant say I hate her but I really dislike her. What you need to understand is that your family memebers are human beings too. They do messed up things just like anyone else. It hurts more because they are your family members though. I think you should go to college if you havent allready. Your sister has one more year before she can go to college. I think the best thing to do is get out of your house ASAP. I know exactly what your going through. When I leave I will never come back. I wont even talk to mother anymore.

Call him on it. Tell him that people usually learn how to be a parent from watching their own parents interact. Then ask him which one of his parents treated the family like crap and how did he like it when he was a kid. Make him think about himself.

Resisting will never change it. Just stop resisting the way it is. Acceptance is rising above the situation and transcends suffering.





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