Dissociative Disorders 20 years later?!
Question: I was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder 20 years ago, and I have been in and out of treatment for this time. I have currently been out of treatment for 3 years and have moved and can't go back to the same mental health professionals. I am scared because I don't trust most therapists and I am having a re-emergence of my dissociative experiences. I am in a vulnerable place in my life because I have 1 friend and he is moving 3000 miles away. I am 50 years old and very isolated. People tell me I'm likeable and several throughout my life have wanted to be my friend.. I have been many other people's friend, but I don't consider anyone my friend. And now I'm scared. Really, really scared. I work full time, but I've been taking time off because I just can't go in. I told some folks at work my only friend is moving tomorrow and they said they would be my friend, but I can't trust them with all that I trusted this friend with. He has been through all of my trials with me and not rejected me
Answers: I was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder 20 years ago, and I have been in and out of treatment for this time. I have currently been out of treatment for 3 years and have moved and can't go back to the same mental health professionals. I am scared because I don't trust most therapists and I am having a re-emergence of my dissociative experiences. I am in a vulnerable place in my life because I have 1 friend and he is moving 3000 miles away. I am 50 years old and very isolated. People tell me I'm likeable and several throughout my life have wanted to be my friend.. I have been many other people's friend, but I don't consider anyone my friend. And now I'm scared. Really, really scared. I work full time, but I've been taking time off because I just can't go in. I told some folks at work my only friend is moving tomorrow and they said they would be my friend, but I can't trust them with all that I trusted this friend with. He has been through all of my trials with me and not rejected me
Stress can really kick-up dissociative symptoms in those of us with the disorder. Seeing your friend off, is a stressful time for you. Seeing as you're missing work - this is a serious thing to be attended to - NOW. You wouldn't want to lose your job ontop of everything else.
I know it's hard on you to find a new therapist, and even more difficult and concerning when your symptoms are acting up.
But right now, you need SOMEONE to help settle you down.
Can you find your old journals from when you were in therapy before? Look for your "safety plan" and your "grounding techniques" and methods of "calming" -- You need them now, so copy them on 3X5 cards and tuck them in your purse.
Here are a few suggestions toward connection.
1) call your old therapist, ask if they will do 2 to 5 phone consultations with you, to help you return to stability (while finding a new therapist in your new area) On those phone therapy sessions, concentrate on staying grounded and calming fears.
2) call your local mental health clinic -- ask to speak with their "intake person". As you interview with them, tell them you are seeking a female therapist - well experienced with dissociative disorders. Explain you are currently having a crisis and have been missing work because of it.
3) ... They may give you a list of names and phone numbers
of qualified licensed therapists who specialize in dissociative disorders. First, write down questions you would have for them, asking each one the same questions as you make your initial phone contacts. Then rate your 1st, 2nd and 3rd choice -- call back and MAKE an initial appointment. Do mention that you are currently in crisis, requiring immediate assistance.
Socialization and support between therapy sessions(friends)
A) join a Therapy Support Group to find people who understand without a lot of explanation.
B) go to a friendly church - look for smaller groups that meet frequently so you can get to know people in a relaxed setting. -- Also, some churches have therapists/counselors on-staff, and it is possible that you may find the help you need there, and sometimes partially subsidized by the church., making it more affordable.
C) Seek a group of people who spend time together, doing things. A quilting group, a knitting group, a hiking group that goes out once a week together, .... do some activity that allows time for casual conversation. You'll be pleasantly surprised to find the willingness of people to listen, and to be supportive. It's a good way to find friends with something in common.
Think of grounding techniques as ACCESSING EACH OF THE SENSES, connecting yourself with here, now, today, and the fact that you ARE SAFE NOW. Keep a "calming tool" with you. It can be a polished stone in your pocket, a fuzzy scarf, a little teddy bear, a chocolate bar or peppermint, something like that so you can connect your senses with its taste, smell or texture.
I suggest that you visit a church and tell the minister what you've told us... he/she may be able to provide or find support that you can trust. It is tough because it takes time to build trust like you have with your friend, but there are many good people out there--you just don't know who they are. I think you already know this, but you really need to find a mental health professional and let him/her help you. God bless you as you navigate this difficult time!
God do I know how you feel. I know it's hard to trust people . I just let go and let God. I can't get decent doctors here. So many just want to dope me and be done with me. They even tried to tell me that I shouldn't work. I finally gave up on the docs. because they cause me more harm than good and I love working and many people are easily friendly and compassionate with me and most don't even know about "the others" I still have some problems but me and the others have agreed that we all work together. We seem to be doing fine.Of course, you may have problems with your others I don't know but They should help you to get by until you can get the help that you need .Maybe if you discussed this with them it can help.
I'm so sorry you're having reoccurring disssociation. You and i are about the same age, and i have experience with PTSD and symptoms of dissociation myself. I wasn't diagnosed until i was about 38, though.
I found a great therapist who actually gave me a test to see if i had any of the characteristics commony associated with dissociation... and i met the criteria.
This therapist helped me to figure out what "triggered" my dissociative episodes, and what the feelings were which set me off... I really learned a lot about myself.
I also have a great deal of anxiety, which has lessend over the last few years because of this therapist's help.
I do understand not trusting all therapists; however, there are many good ones out there, and they all have different specialties. You could look for one who has experience dealing with dissociative disorders. Perhaps your doctor or the local mental health clinic would be of some assistance?
I am sure you will make new friends... take it slowly to see whether you are compatible as friends first.
i wish you all the best!