I found my dream Mom, now what?!
Question: I have a real birth Mom (she's still alive and well) but I have lived a life of mental & some physical abuse, she is a "Toxic-parent" I have forgiven her because I know she tried her best, and I didn't actually come with instructions. She has admitted to me that I was born for the wrong reasons. Well I'm 37, and have empty feelings for her, all through my childhood I daydreamed of my "real" mother coming to get me. Just recently I began going to church, well the Reverend took my breath away, she is so beautiful, caring, smart with such poise and confidence. All I do is think about her, I want to call her my Mom so bad that it brings tears to my eyes, I want to hug her and tell her that I've waited my life for her. So how do I do that? I don't want her to think I'm some weird stocker or something, and I don't want to make it uncomfortable or should I not say anything at all and just be happy to see "my Mom" every Sunday morning?
Answers: I have a real birth Mom (she's still alive and well) but I have lived a life of mental & some physical abuse, she is a "Toxic-parent" I have forgiven her because I know she tried her best, and I didn't actually come with instructions. She has admitted to me that I was born for the wrong reasons. Well I'm 37, and have empty feelings for her, all through my childhood I daydreamed of my "real" mother coming to get me. Just recently I began going to church, well the Reverend took my breath away, she is so beautiful, caring, smart with such poise and confidence. All I do is think about her, I want to call her my Mom so bad that it brings tears to my eyes, I want to hug her and tell her that I've waited my life for her. So how do I do that? I don't want her to think I'm some weird stocker or something, and I don't want to make it uncomfortable or should I not say anything at all and just be happy to see "my Mom" every Sunday morning?
that's so sweet what you have described. you give an open look into the mind of a neglected child. even when we have our parents there for us, they never fill all of the rolls for us to follow. that's why we have favorite singers and movie stars whose lives we follow and emulate. we are always looking for a father figure, and a mother figure to help us shape our lives. you, being without your real mother having been searching because of the void there. and you will always search and wonder. if this woman at church makes you feel good then why don't you have a little meeting with her and let her know how you look up to her and best of all let her know how you feel about her. i think you will make her very happy, and very proud. it's wonderful. you may find yourself getting more involved with church activities and helping this wonderful woman out around the church. church is family too. that's what it's designed for. talk to her and i bet you won't be sorry. I BET SHE WILL GIVE YOU WONDERFUL ADVICE AND GUIDANCE. YOU SEEM TO KNOW TO KEEP A DISTANCE, SOMEWHAT.
uh, deffinitley don't say anything to her.
I think you are trying desperately to fill the void in your life left by your toxic mom. I also think you will freak this poor woman out with the Mom bit. If you must be around her more, volunteer at the church.......
saying this to her c`oulkd make you're realationship very ackward or she amy be flattered I don't know her personality. what you're feeling is perfectly normal though.
Uhh.....yeah. That Rev is NOT your mom and don't say anything like that to her because she'll think you're crazy. And even if she acted like she thought nothing of it, she really will and she'll think you're crazy. You gotta go see a therapist, because something is very wrong.
your nuts!