I'm very suicidal.?!
Question: I've kept it a secret since I'm so afraid people will think I'm a freak. But, I'm 14 and extremely suicidal. When I walk to school, I always hope a car will hit me. I've always been dirt poor and have had no childhood. My parents abused me, they divorced, my mom and her new Bf were more violent and stole my money. I was finally kicked out a while back. I've been allover the place since. I've been alone and without friends for years. I cut, I take painkillers daily and drink alcohol. I already tried suicide with poisoning myself, it just left me slow in the head. I used to beat kids up and attend anger management, but now I get beat up, but I'm the most peaceful person now. I don't eat much either, and I'm loosing weight, I'm cold in 90 degree weather. My doctors think I might have cancer too. Every morning, I always just try to smile, but something always comes and ruins it. I have insomnia, I always have nightmares and night sweats. I cant stay awake at all, I get dizzy and blackout, I stumble when I walk. I used to have straight As, but now I'm failing since I've been allover the place and I can't think with all my suicidal thoughts. I'm a weak, and pathetic person, I'll never make it in life. I can't even talk to people, I'm extremely paranoid and afraid of them. I have a huge fear of telephones. I'm religous, I pray to God nightly and carry a gold charm of the Virgin of Guadalupe with me daily, yet they don't seem to help, I feel God hates me and wants me to die as well. I'm a mess...
Answers: I've kept it a secret since I'm so afraid people will think I'm a freak. But, I'm 14 and extremely suicidal. When I walk to school, I always hope a car will hit me. I've always been dirt poor and have had no childhood. My parents abused me, they divorced, my mom and her new Bf were more violent and stole my money. I was finally kicked out a while back. I've been allover the place since. I've been alone and without friends for years. I cut, I take painkillers daily and drink alcohol. I already tried suicide with poisoning myself, it just left me slow in the head. I used to beat kids up and attend anger management, but now I get beat up, but I'm the most peaceful person now. I don't eat much either, and I'm loosing weight, I'm cold in 90 degree weather. My doctors think I might have cancer too. Every morning, I always just try to smile, but something always comes and ruins it. I have insomnia, I always have nightmares and night sweats. I cant stay awake at all, I get dizzy and blackout, I stumble when I walk. I used to have straight As, but now I'm failing since I've been allover the place and I can't think with all my suicidal thoughts. I'm a weak, and pathetic person, I'll never make it in life. I can't even talk to people, I'm extremely paranoid and afraid of them. I have a huge fear of telephones. I'm religous, I pray to God nightly and carry a gold charm of the Virgin of Guadalupe with me daily, yet they don't seem to help, I feel God hates me and wants me to die as well. I'm a mess...
no doubt you need help. you need the power of love to mend yourself. try relationships or living with other families.
you need to listen to bob marley follow his view of life. get alittle more serious with religion. dont let anyone say they're better than you. also dont listen to "everything happens for a reason." bullshit, everyhing in life comes and goes and only its memories will haunt you.
its always dark before dawn,
hope you get better :)
seek help immediately
God doesnt want u to die. go to teenchallenge.org. They help kids like u. dont kill urself.
i feel this way too but i got a different background story. im working on telling someone. im scared but im actually planning on telling tomorrow. i had a rough day at school today. i cried and thought i would have a breakdown-but i made it through. just try to take everything one step at a time. i would also advise you to seek help. its scary-i know how u feel-but it has to be done so u can feel better about yourself.
hope i helped and best of luck to you. may u have a long and happy life.
See a doctor. A guidence counsiler. A teacher. A friend's parent. Someone you trust. You need help now. Killing yourself, won't do anything good for anyone. Don't you want to grow up? Have a family? Get married? Go to school? And grow to be old? You don't want to miss out on the wonders of life.
dont think negative. always think positive. make a list of things that you want to acheive in life. Everyday try to do something that will help you reach that goal. keep praying to god. My friend's step brother commited suicide and the people around him were very upset. He thought that no one loved him... but he was very wrong. For days she cried. No one is happy for someone to die. There is always something that they think about of that person.
i used to feel like you i came from a poor backround and a **** childhood and most of the time i thought nothing of it if i was to die the next day, but something kept me going inside what it was i dont know. life gets better as it goes on. please seek help you have your whole life to put the past behind you
go to the ER, tell your feelings, symptoms to the MD.
first and foremost GOD does not hate you..although lets me honest it seems like he does sometimes by all the bad thigns that happen to us.But he doesnt..he has good things instore for you ..and i have a big feeling he does..things will get better.
Just try your best to keep positive and when sad depressing thoughts come into your head hurry up and think about something else..i know its hard..i have been depressed for ahwile but its something you need to keep pushing.
is there anyone you can talk to at school?? a counsler??? you can explain your situation so they will understand..and also get you help.
if not then it seems to have acsess to the internet so you can look up places to get you help...you need to go one step at a time and it will all work.
keep praying and believing things will get better. work at one thing at a time..get into counsling ethier thru your school or a free one online..things will work..
always remeber there is always someone who has it worse then you!
if you need to talk then you can always message me and i can help.
Go to a church, charity, Salvation Army, local mental health clinic, Social Services, anywhere and just ask for help. You have your whole life ahead of you.
You say that you are afraid of people. You must put this fear aside and seek help immediately. Go see your School Counselor and tell he/she everything you have experienced. Ask for help. Go to a church and seek help there and explain your situation.