I feel like i should have said something.....help please...?!
Question: i was shopping today in the city and a woman was there with a very new baby in the trolley. it was about three weeks old at a guess and it was screaming, not a i want my dinner scream, but the kind that a baby makes if it is really, really traumatised. the woman, i am assuming it was the mother was totally ignoring it. just carrying on with her shopping. other shoppers were looking at the woman too. i could hear people whispering concern to each other. i am a woman with a 17 year old so i know the sound of a distressed baby. but i did nothing. i wanted to go over to her and tell her to pick the baby up. i wanted to shout at her. but i didnt do anything. i was there for about ten minutes. i had to leave the shop leaving my shopping and i cried in my car. i wasnt over reacting. it was painful and i am crying thinking about it. why didnt i talk to her. i was scared how she would react if i spoke to her. scream or tell me to f off. i feel so guilty.please make me feel better.
Answers: i was shopping today in the city and a woman was there with a very new baby in the trolley. it was about three weeks old at a guess and it was screaming, not a i want my dinner scream, but the kind that a baby makes if it is really, really traumatised. the woman, i am assuming it was the mother was totally ignoring it. just carrying on with her shopping. other shoppers were looking at the woman too. i could hear people whispering concern to each other. i am a woman with a 17 year old so i know the sound of a distressed baby. but i did nothing. i wanted to go over to her and tell her to pick the baby up. i wanted to shout at her. but i didnt do anything. i was there for about ten minutes. i had to leave the shop leaving my shopping and i cried in my car. i wasnt over reacting. it was painful and i am crying thinking about it. why didnt i talk to her. i was scared how she would react if i spoke to her. scream or tell me to f off. i feel so guilty.please make me feel better.
You did the right thing. You dont know what mental state that woman is in. Or what she might do. I would have reported her to security and let it go. You cant change her or save the world. Just pray for the child and put it in gods hands..your a good person for even caring enough to right this..god bless..
If you had intervened she would have most likely been very rude to you, so you did nothing wrong
If you didn't do what you know in your heart was the right thing to do, then the guilt you feel is appropriate. All I can say is that if you are confronted with the same situation again, you owe it to yourself to at least say something.
who knows how we will react to anything like that all I can say is we are victims of conditioning to mind our own buisness its not polite to interfere but it was not your fault and you are not to blame
Sometimes baby's scream for attention even at 3 weeks old, you only naturally wanted to pick up the baby and cuddle it but at the end of the day it isn't your problem, i have 3 children and i see similar things all the time where i live but there is nothing i can do, if the baby was crying then there is one good sign to a healthy child because if the child was unhealthy they would be quiet and withdrawn, i would say stop beating yourself up, don't forget if the baby screams all the time then i expect the mother was getting a bit tired of hearing it so she has chosen to ignore it, and really i think that is better than picking up the child in fustration xx
You did what you thought was right at the time.
And, to be honest, I think someone would of said something if it was a large shop.
Try not to worry about it too much, if you did say something, she would of started slagging you off and accusing you of saying she was an unfit mother.
Don't beat your self up, your instincts are that of a mother. I would want to do the same as you, but probably have second thoughts as well. It's only natural to want to comfort a baby when it's crying, one of mine used to cry nearly all day. I did have to shut off to it a bit or else I would have gone crackers or done some thing worse, so maybe the baby in question was one that cried a lot and it was her way of dealing with it. Smile it isn't your problem.
learn from it but you should have intervened the baby is the most important thing and we all have a duty to protect children. This child was clearly very distressed and is dependant on adults to protect it. Even if you do run the risk of getting a mouthful so what?
You don't know how loud and how often that particular baby screams; and you may have been witnessing the mother's only available coping mechanism for a very difficult child. If the child had been mis-treated for its three weeks of life, it probably wouldn't have the energy for the volume of complaining you heard; or would have already learnt that it doesn't produce results.
However, if it distresses you, you might want to practice some openers such as "Oh you poor thing; does your baby cry like that often?" or "Mealtime, I presume!" depending on whether you are more comfortable with sympathy or humour.
I worked for 6 years (through most of highschool and college) at JCPenney's in the baby department and, unfortunately, saw that kind of thing happen often. I understand what you mean about the difference between a baby throwing a tantrum and a baby in obvious distress. Several times I have seen associates and/or customers approach people in situations like yours and they almost all ended badly. The parent with the baby is already so overwhelmed by the screaming and crying that a comment from a stranger sends them right over the edge.
If the baby was in obvious distress, a worker at the store you were in may have called mall security or the police and were avoiding making a scene before professional help arrived on the scene. I think you were right not to approach the woman, but perhaps you could have mentioned your concern to an employee. Don't beat yourself up for your decision and instead take pride in the fact that you are a good parent to your children and would have never done such a thing to them.
I think you should feel guilty if you actually saw the baby being physically abused and did nothing. The chances are excellent if you intervened you would have been told in no uncertain terms to mind your own business. I would raise the possibility that the vast majority of mothers are good mothers and expert though you are in these matters, may know the moods and behaviors of their children slightly better than you. You are assuming the worst and obsessing on it when the odds are excellent that no harm will come to the child as a result of this episode. In the future consider approaching with the comment, your baby appears so uncomfortable is there any way I can help either with him or your shopping. If the answer is no at least she will be aware that her behavior has been noticed and as a result possibility modify it.
Dont feel guilty. Sometimes its better to just mind your own business. I would have wanted to say something too, but you never know how someone will react.
It is hard to say something in a situation like that because the women would have probably told you to f off. But maybe you could have started a conversation with her, be sympathetic instead of accusing. The women could have been stressed, tired and having a bad day, though that is no excuse for leaving the baby to cry. I do feel for you but remember you weren't the only person who didn't say anything, and I can't say I would of.
The only thing I can say is, if you were in that kind of situation again approach it from a different angle. I'm sorry if this doesn't make you feel any better, But don't feel guilty about it you just didn't know what to do at the time.