Anxiety Attacks.. How do you talk to someone about it?!
Question: I have a 2 1/2 year old. Shes driving me nuts. I am 9 months pregnant and not looking forward to being a parent of two. My husband is overseas. Hes not here to help. Im living with my mom while hes gone and the family is driving me nuts too! Everything makes me want to pull my hair out. At the end of the day my daughter((or anyone else for that matter)) can do one thing that tips the bottle and Ill just cry for like an hour and want to scream and I just feel overwhlemed. Its to the point where I take it out on my husband and he doesnt need that being over there. What do I do? Do I tell my obgyn next time I see him? Hes kinda stupid. What do I really say to him? Am I a bad person? I am so oiverwhelmed.. Im 19 and I dont want to rely on meds to help me but maybe for awhile? I have way too much going on!!! Help me please. Thank you.
Answers: I have a 2 1/2 year old. Shes driving me nuts. I am 9 months pregnant and not looking forward to being a parent of two. My husband is overseas. Hes not here to help. Im living with my mom while hes gone and the family is driving me nuts too! Everything makes me want to pull my hair out. At the end of the day my daughter((or anyone else for that matter)) can do one thing that tips the bottle and Ill just cry for like an hour and want to scream and I just feel overwhlemed. Its to the point where I take it out on my husband and he doesnt need that being over there. What do I do? Do I tell my obgyn next time I see him? Hes kinda stupid. What do I really say to him? Am I a bad person? I am so oiverwhelmed.. Im 19 and I dont want to rely on meds to help me but maybe for awhile? I have way too much going on!!! Help me please. Thank you.
You are not a bad person. You are not incapable. You are not feeling anything that anyone else hasn't felt from time to time - but probably you are feeling it a little more intensely than many.
So you listed out about ten good reasons (not excuses) in your first two sentences why anyone else carrying the same load would already have had a nervous breakdown. Add to that that you are pregnant to the unteenth trimester and why wouldn't you be falling apart. If it all seems like too much - it is because it is.
First off, realize that until you deliver, there is only partial relief that you will experience. In the words of Ann Miller (a nurse I worked with in Memphis), "You weren't crying nine months ago, so don't start now." Keep your head in your reality. Obligations in order of importance: (this is just he priority I would suggest)
1. Take care of yourself. - if you fall apart, everything else is unimportant. Find someone to talk to - I would start with your local base's FRA or community support. I think a lot of your anxiety is spinning because your reference might be a little off. It may be good to speak to other military spouses learning to take care of everything while alone - and learning what they feel is acceptable to forgive yourself from - because you need to start throwing some balls to the ground - (not dropping them - throw them down - get rid of them)
2. Take care of the baby that you are about to deliver - this life is completely reliant upon you and all this stress could complicate the delivery - so ease up....
3. Take care of your child that is 2 1/2. Remember that the stress she is causing you is your concern - not hers. She's 2 and a half and with her daddy gone - you are her world. Make everything she does something that helps mommy prepare for her little sister or brother. Guide her through very simple actions like folding towels or stacking diapers - something like that - not only will this help her - it will help you slow down.
4. Write to your husband and let him know how well everything is going. Tell him about the baby kicking and getting ready. (Remember to shut everything else out - you are the mom - and while only 19 and carrying a lot for someone with so few years under their belt - it is up to you.) Let him know that you wish he were there but that you can take care of it - only until he gets back and then you will need him more than ever.
5. Finally, the family. They all love you and care for you and want to make everything better - I am sure of this and it is important to try and remember that when the frustration crests up! Possibly just telling them that you need them to help you right now in the following ways: and then list out some very clear things.
Anxiety - of which I suffer - I best define as being looped in that 'what if' thinking. There are so many possible variables that you can think of, especially with a spouse in a war, a second baby on the way, no permanent home to speak of right now, etc. that you said it perfectly - you are overwhelmed. Start identifying those what if loops that you find yourself considering. Reduce everything to exactly 'what is' and you will find some alleviation to your angst. Also, just relax! At 19, you are carrying more responsibility than most 50 years olds have to encounter. You are young into your adult experience, and while this might not feel like the way you wanted to spend these years, it is how you are spending them. You can't make yourself unpregnant. You can't forget that you already have a child. You can't bring your husband home. So turn it around to something you can manage and control - successfully.
You can do it!!!
After you have your baby, I think you should get a full-time job and get a nanny.
Ask yourself. "Is this the end of the world". Once you figure out you are stuck in the situation you will solve the problem.
yes you really need to talk to your ob let him know that you are getting extreamly irratable to the point that it is interfering with your daily activities and the care of your 2 yr old being that you are 9 months preg I would wait till you give birth and than start on an antidepressent because you will prob have some bad post partem depression and not there is no shame in getting help it is your choice if the dr doesn't feel you need anything than he is stupid go to someone else start the med in the hospital if they let you the sooner the better two kids is hard so take your meds and try to relax as much as possable. good luck!
You can talk to your OB but I would really recommend going to see a counselor who specializes in families. They might be able to give you some background as to why you feel this way. There is no doubt you are in a frustrating situation anyway but you shouldn't have to constantly feel like you have lost control. You are not a bad person, sometimes these things just get to us and it ends up messing with our minds and our way of life. If you can't get to a counselor, please take time out for yourself to relax and have some "me" time. It might not be as effective but it will damn sure help.
Your hormones from your pregnancy are not helping with your stress levels!
Yes you do need to talk to you Obgyn about this issue! Also, if you have any family members around, you should tell them how you are feeling. Hopefully they can help you out!
Being a young mom can be very stressful! I believe that women are not ready to be moms at such a young age because they do not have the life experiences needed to deal with the stresses of being an adult.
Just remember that your daughter (and soon to be child number 2) did not choose to be here. You and your husband brought her into this world, she is your responsibility!
I am 22 and have an almost 5 year old and 2 year old. I work and go to school! I also live away from my family members so my bf and I have limited help with our kids. Whenever my life stresses me out, I take a step back and tell myself "I want my kids to have the best life, no matter how awful I may feel mine is. They didn't choose me as their mom".
Also, if you are not feeling better after the delivery of your second child. You should consider postpartum depression and also have you thyroid levels checked.
Do not take it out on your little one or your family. You are 9 months pregnant. Start resting and preparing for this birth. If you need to go out and unwind do so, leave the little one with the family. I would start to look at daycare options for your daughter a few days a week too. In addition, I see you are only 19. I would recommend attending parenting classes and also Mothers support groups so that you are around other mums and you have someone to talk to. No you are not bad, but in this state of mind you could end up doing something you would regret, so start being nice to yuorself, meditate, have a massage, just take it easy. Life cannot be that bad, you are with your mum, your not on your own. Hope everything goes well for you.
You have stressful life as I have seen
You can solve this by seeing these tips
which might help you a lots or ease your stress
1. You are somebody's wife already
2. Only think about your husband, your child and the other unborn child
3. Do not think about others
4. Do whatever you think is right
5. Think about your health first
6. Do not rely on medication
7. Please see or seek an advice from child professional about child behaviour
8. To handle your stress, make friends with others such as your neighbour, your friends and others
9. Just take a walk for a while if you feel stress
10. The best one is find a place where you can see all grass or trees that looks green all around you and take a deep breathe, it will help a lot
11. Drink a lot of water eight glass a day
12. And don't forget to call your husband daily