So why am I so down?!
Question: Once again Iv'e found myself feeling so low that I cant stop crying. Dont know why and I dont know what has made me suddenly feel this way. O.K there are certain things in my life that I feel could be better or that I could have made better but I seem to be able to deal with life mostly. Just recently I keep breaking down. My partner is a good listener but that does'nt matter as when he asks me what it is that is bothering me I honestly cannot give him an answer. Once again it happened tonight and he actually said that he thinks I should talk to someone (in other words a shrink). Only thing is that I cant be 'me' when it comes to dealing with doctors etc. He knows this and said that I should just be honest but I know that I cant! I put on an act . Iv'e always been the same. Everything seems fine to whoever it is Im trying to get through to but that is because I find it so much easier to joke around. Its like I said "No-one really knows me". Help!!!
Answers: Once again Iv'e found myself feeling so low that I cant stop crying. Dont know why and I dont know what has made me suddenly feel this way. O.K there are certain things in my life that I feel could be better or that I could have made better but I seem to be able to deal with life mostly. Just recently I keep breaking down. My partner is a good listener but that does'nt matter as when he asks me what it is that is bothering me I honestly cannot give him an answer. Once again it happened tonight and he actually said that he thinks I should talk to someone (in other words a shrink). Only thing is that I cant be 'me' when it comes to dealing with doctors etc. He knows this and said that I should just be honest but I know that I cant! I put on an act . Iv'e always been the same. Everything seems fine to whoever it is Im trying to get through to but that is because I find it so much easier to joke around. Its like I said "No-one really knows me". Help!!!
Joking around as you describe it is a defense mechanism. A sense of humor is critical in life but it can also be used to keep others away or to hide your true thoughts and feelings by distracting someone's question.
What is it that you're afraid to let others see about you? Do you really think someone who knew everything about you would reject you? Everyone around you has as many flaws as you, so don't beat yourself up or judge yourself so harshly.
Another possible reason if this is new is that you might have seasonal affective disorder. That's pretty common during the winter months when you get so much less sunlight. Try sitting under a 'natural' light bulb that gives you the full spectrum of light.
If you're afraid you can't open up to a counselor, try to find one thru your church (if you have one) since the extra layer of trust that can give you might help you talk. You could always call a helpline and speak anonymously.
Do you have a pet? If you're not allergic find a way to pet a dog or cat, your own or even at a pet shop. Just hearing and feeling my cat purring while I pet it can change my mood in a good way.
Hmmmm.
Think you found the answer
to your problem.
Why?
Why don't you want anyone to know
you for who you are?
What don't you like about yourself?
Your job? Your salary?
Your relationship?
Your low self-esteem?
Your hair?
Your lack of education? Or your
choice of education?
Sounds like you need some changes
in your life.
Maybe start with a "pro's and con's" list.
Write down things you are happy with.
Things you are not.
Then start making some changes on the
"con's" list.
Have you seen a regular general doctor?
Sometimes it can be something physical
that can cause depression.
If you get the strength to go to a
specialist....take the list with.
It will make things easier.
Good luck and God Bless.
There are lots of counselors and therapists who can help you, Sweetie. You just need to find the right one! If you are shy around doctor-doctors, then find a ministerial counselor, school counselor, or a social worker who will listen and help you.
In the meantime, though, sit down and write a list of things that upset you. What are you most afraid of? What are you angry about? List the biggest fear first; then list your biggest source of anger. Keep the list going, don't just stop at the biggest. You don't have to write them down all at once, either, just keep the list handy so you can add to it, even for trivial things.
Once you identify your fear and anger, you will be better equipped to tackle the source of your depression. Please do make the list, but also, please do seek counseling (bring your list with you when you do). There are Stephen Ministers all over the earth who will listen and help you see that all is not lost and that you can overcome this depression. They can help provide with the coping tools you need to get healthy.
I will be praying for your complete recovery, and I know you can recover, so take some action and get on the road to well being!
I've been in this same type of situation lately. I had absolutely no reason to feel depressed or upset, yet I was feeling that way. It can be extremely frustrating! I went to see my primary care physician, who prescribed some medication. I also went to short-term counseling, and they both have helped tremendously.
I know that eating well and exercising can also help improve mood.
Talking with a close friend, whom you can trust, also helps me a great deal.
Best of luck!