Plz hellp (crying) ..wats wrong with me?? 10 minutes of ur time will make a BIG !
Question: childhood: mum was so strict, im hit until now (severly).. until now we have a (naughty spot- room) actually its the bathroom where i spend the night if did sth bad... mum always mistrusts me... when i was 6 yrs old i stole things from ma friends but stopped whn i was severly punished(hit) 4 this attitude...I HATE MY MUM..dad is alwayz away travelling...
im now 19 . i am used to SEVERLY self harm, for the last 3 yrs ,(cut,burnt,pierced maself..overdosed.. i traverse streets without looking...im on a YOYO diet either i eat toooooo much or i starve myself..i never had a set weight....im am a danger seeker..for example i walk in dark streets instead of safer ones, i disobey laws..etc
my problem is: i cant have a BEST friend... im friendly,, ppl say im cute n sweet,ive lots of non close friends...but whn i get close to anyone & share with her all my problems @ the end i turn against her,though she was caring- and i say tht i want distance, i hate u , plz leave me alone...then i regret that deed n ask for her forgivness, but it is too late and they go away because the say i hurt them badly...i did that with 4 people before and im looking at my friends as if they are toys or sth and im trying to search 4 the (target) i mean the next girl who i will show deeeep love and care then ill turn on her @ the end...but i swear i dont mean to manipulate their feelings actually i feel tht hatred towards them @ the end.then i deeply regret it and i self harm myself deeply as a punishment..
i used to be successful but 4 the last coouple of years im not consentrating on ma studies,im always daydreaming.im either very happy n cheerful.or depressed crying with no reason..or im overexcited & "crazy n funny"..i really have no exact personality im too flexible iam what matches with the others...when im talking with a group its a mess i cant be myself coz i dun kno how to act.
i love being with my friends,i hate to b alone especially when i know ma friends are having fun together and im grounded or mum doesnt agree to the outing... im oversensitive. very easily hury and also forgive very easily
plz help me... mum doesnt believe in mental illness though i tried to kill myself and she witnessed and stopped this, two times ma friends cant help me...and i dont know what to do..
PS: in egypt i cant leave home and live bymyself i live with my parents untill i get married and i cant seek medical help alone....plz plz help me(crying)thanx
Answers: childhood: mum was so strict, im hit until now (severly).. until now we have a (naughty spot- room) actually its the bathroom where i spend the night if did sth bad... mum always mistrusts me... when i was 6 yrs old i stole things from ma friends but stopped whn i was severly punished(hit) 4 this attitude...I HATE MY MUM..dad is alwayz away travelling...
im now 19 . i am used to SEVERLY self harm, for the last 3 yrs ,(cut,burnt,pierced maself..overdosed.. i traverse streets without looking...im on a YOYO diet either i eat toooooo much or i starve myself..i never had a set weight....im am a danger seeker..for example i walk in dark streets instead of safer ones, i disobey laws..etc
my problem is: i cant have a BEST friend... im friendly,, ppl say im cute n sweet,ive lots of non close friends...but whn i get close to anyone & share with her all my problems @ the end i turn against her,though she was caring- and i say tht i want distance, i hate u , plz leave me alone...then i regret that deed n ask for her forgivness, but it is too late and they go away because the say i hurt them badly...i did that with 4 people before and im looking at my friends as if they are toys or sth and im trying to search 4 the (target) i mean the next girl who i will show deeeep love and care then ill turn on her @ the end...but i swear i dont mean to manipulate their feelings actually i feel tht hatred towards them @ the end.then i deeply regret it and i self harm myself deeply as a punishment..
i used to be successful but 4 the last coouple of years im not consentrating on ma studies,im always daydreaming.im either very happy n cheerful.or depressed crying with no reason..or im overexcited & "crazy n funny"..i really have no exact personality im too flexible iam what matches with the others...when im talking with a group its a mess i cant be myself coz i dun kno how to act.
i love being with my friends,i hate to b alone especially when i know ma friends are having fun together and im grounded or mum doesnt agree to the outing... im oversensitive. very easily hury and also forgive very easily
plz help me... mum doesnt believe in mental illness though i tried to kill myself and she witnessed and stopped this, two times ma friends cant help me...and i dont know what to do..
PS: in egypt i cant leave home and live bymyself i live with my parents untill i get married and i cant seek medical help alone....plz plz help me(crying)thanx
If you can't go get help, you have to help yourself. Get a journal and write everything down that your feeling and go over it daily. You know you have issues because your asking for help. Try to change one behavior a day that you don't like or that you want to change. Try to succeed as best as possible in school so you can change into your better self. Try to seek help in friends. I know you said they aren't close, but try to make a lasting relationship with at least one positive, helpful peer. Good Luck!!
are there any helplines in egypt you can call for some advice/help?
you definately need some professional help like councelling or something similar so really you need to go to the doctor.
but like you said you cant do that, so i suggest trying to find a helpline or website to email.
i hope it works out for you!
Listen its good that you are talking about these feeling..... If I were you I don't know where you live but I would go away... away from it all... start fresh and DO NOT REMEMBER WHAT your mom did to you......NOW you have control of your life and even if you start from zero.... you can make it....
Go to a new city and get a new challenging job thatwill take you mind away from your problems.... go out and CHANGE the way you are now towards your new friends..... they don't know you.... so start a new YOU..
Be humble and giving... and even though life is not fair ....it will give back to you happiness.... plus you only have one life DON"T WASTE IT FEELING SAD.
THE ONLY THING I COULD EVEN HINK MOF IS GOING TO A HOSPITAL..YOUR AN ADULT YOU SHOULDNT HAVE TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS,IF YOU SAY YOUR FREINDS CANT HELP WHAT MAKES YOU THINK US TOTAL STRANGERS WOULD BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT?YOU NEED TO GET OUTTA THAT HOUSE AND SEE A DOCTOR ASAP.......
Besides being a sufferer from abuse it also sounds like you have Bipolar Disorder. Talk to your dad and see if he'll go to the doctor with you. Bipolar would explain the depressed/crying episodes and then the manic/over excited crazy episodes. However if this does not get treated it will end up killing you. Bipolar is a serious disorder and needs to be treated immediately. However it will make it very hard on you to have kids (unless you adopt) because of the medications. But try talking to your dad about your mood swings or a teacher or someone. You need to get some treatment immediately.
Tell the police... I will be your friend! Get help... Tell someone. Get out of this terrible situation.