My husband is enabling my depression how to stop it?!
Question: I've been majorly depressed for two years. I don't exactly know how to explain this but he was partially to blame for my depression. He has a negative outlook towards everything, and since I have became depressed, I too have had a horrible perception on life. I've been trying to get better for some time. But anytime I feel the least bit happy or positive about anything he says or does something negative to bring me down again. I am supposed to be surrounding myself with positive people and a positive light, how can I when I spend most of my days with him, and he is always bringing me down. I've tried to talk to him but he acts like he doesn't care or doesn't want to help and I just keep sinking deeper in even though I am actually trying to help myself out. I can't go to see a doctor without his help ( he drives I don't) but he won't even make the effort to take me to see a doctor. Sometimes I feel like he wants to keep me this way. He told me once that he was afraid for me to be on
Answers: I've been majorly depressed for two years. I don't exactly know how to explain this but he was partially to blame for my depression. He has a negative outlook towards everything, and since I have became depressed, I too have had a horrible perception on life. I've been trying to get better for some time. But anytime I feel the least bit happy or positive about anything he says or does something negative to bring me down again. I am supposed to be surrounding myself with positive people and a positive light, how can I when I spend most of my days with him, and he is always bringing me down. I've tried to talk to him but he acts like he doesn't care or doesn't want to help and I just keep sinking deeper in even though I am actually trying to help myself out. I can't go to see a doctor without his help ( he drives I don't) but he won't even make the effort to take me to see a doctor. Sometimes I feel like he wants to keep me this way. He told me once that he was afraid for me to be on
First of all.....(((((((BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!))))))
I have depression and anxiety issues for quite a few years now. I also have a husband who doesn't totally understand these issues and he adds to them at times too. It sucks to try to focus on the positive and be surrounded by negativity! Do you have any friends or family who would be willing to take you to see a doctor? Regardless of how HE feels, you need to seek professional help for YOU. If he is interested, he could go with you and maybe understand a bit better what you are going through and be able to support you more. Your mental health also negatively wears on the marriage and won't get any better if you don't do anything about it. Sounds like he needs to understand that his insecurities are NOT helping you! My hubby is kinda the same way as yours in that aspect and he has been dealing w/anxiety and depression himself and I told him that I understand. Of course, he thinks I am turning things around to shift the focus to me, but that's another story...needless to say we are dealing with issues ourselves. I really hope you are able to get the help and support you need! Good luck to you and do your best to stay strong and NOT let his words/attitude keep you from focusing on the positive. I know, easier said than done, but it's at least worth attempting...for your own sanity. Also...YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON AND DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!! So SMILE...and hang in there! (((((MORE BIG HUGS!!!!))))))) :-)
Divorce.
If he is that bad leave him. My husband can be somewhat like that but we talk about what is making him so negative and we get through it together. But if your husband doesn't even care then he can't possibly love you.
It honestly sounds like you shouldn't be with him. If he really loved you, then he would be supportive. And if he's paranoid about you not wanting to be with him after you get on medication, he's probably right because you will be able to think straight, and you'll realize you shouldn't be with him. My advise is to go to marriage counseling or just get a divorce if he's not even willing to do the counseling. This is YOUR life and you need to make the best of it.
You need to see a doctor to see if you are really suffering from depression. If you are it is a chemical imbalance, a sickness and you need medication. Nothing your husband does or stops doing will just make the sickness go away. Though it seems like he is too happy with being the dominant one of you two. It's time to get a friend or family member to help get you some help but know that just getting away from him will not solve your problems if you are depressed.
You won't beat depression on your own.
Get a taxi go to the doctor and tell him you are depressed.
There are some good drugs today that will help you but you have to help yourself first. Maybe your husband is also depressed.
you need a third party in this matter. go to a counselor or therapist, and try to get your husband to come with you. if he wont, go alone, and if you dont think its working give it a month. talk to him about how he makes you feel, his behavior may be because of a bad past. tell the therapist or psychologist everything, and follow his/her advice. i dont think your ready to make a decision on your own yet.
just leave him. he sounds like a jerk.
He's keeping you down to keep you under his control. That's not love, that's pathological - especially the "Won't drive you to the doctor" part.
Call one of the battered women hotlines and tell them what you said here. They should at least counsel you what to do and might help you escape.
If he hasn't turned physical yet, it's just a matter of time.
I would say the first step is to learn how to drive. This will give you a sence that you have choices in your daily life. ia m 32 and just got my liscence this month! You are not too old or too set in your way to be able to learn!
I'm curious as to why you don't drive though. That part hits me as being a bit strange, and maybe a sign of possible abuse. Are you aware that he's technically being abusive by denying you treatment?
I for one would have left him already, but that's just me.
The medications you are talking about would most certainly
change the outlook you have on life. That is why they give those meds to you. I think he needs to be on those meds more than you do! He looks at life being a cup half empty.
The only way I know to bring yourself up is by complete alone
meditation or prayer to God. We make happiness by cherishing what we have not what we don't have.... A blessing
is simply a good way at looking at a problem as only a
solution!! You don't need a mountain of material value items
because money is just a transport of accumulating items we
buy. When we make someone happy than we make ourselves happy. A smile is worth a thousand words.
The will to live is the most strongest thing on this earth.
A problem always has a solution just ask a scientist!!
Children can turn a bitter heart completely around with just
one smile... Plant a beautiful garden and feel your heart grow
and grow. I don't think I need to go on, you get the jist of my
message.