Friends cutting is out of control?!
Question: My best friend who I love to death is a "cutter". She has been cutting for 4years. I really did not know about cutting until I met her. She cut herself last night after not cutting for 4days. I really thought she was going to stop this time. I'm really mad at her because I love her a lot and I hate her doing this. She tried to kill herself last year. What can I do? She is 23. I'm really trying to understand cutting so can you give me some sites on it? thanks.
Answers: My best friend who I love to death is a "cutter". She has been cutting for 4years. I really did not know about cutting until I met her. She cut herself last night after not cutting for 4days. I really thought she was going to stop this time. I'm really mad at her because I love her a lot and I hate her doing this. She tried to kill herself last year. What can I do? She is 23. I'm really trying to understand cutting so can you give me some sites on it? thanks.
Sometimes I cut myself when I hate myself so much. It makes me feel better to cut myself.
Hope that helps.
I had a friend that did this (we were 17 at the time). What I did as soon as I found out : Dragged her (literally) by her wrist to a local counsellor. I then contacted her parents and told mine. Her parents were then able to take the extra steps and take her to see a psychologist. Your friend needs help. Cutting is used to make there emotional pain physical. If your friend has been cutting for this long, she has alot of emotional problems. Get her help.
Do you know why your friend is cutting herself? If you do, see if theres anything you can do to help her. Maybe recomend a psyciatrist. I know how you feel, my best friend was a cutter. I confronted her and told her i was woried and we had a mini intervention. I think that helped.
it!" SELF HARM / SELF INJURY / SELF MUTILATION: There are multiple reasons why people self harm: only that person knows the real reason, and sometimes isn't even consciously aware of what that reason is. SHORT TERM: Try putting a wide rubber band around your wrist, (for a short time only, say, a few minutes at maximum) then stretch and release. Alternatively, hold an ice cube in both hands and grasp. Those people who are in a position to, recommend adding red food dye to the water beforehand, as the red drops from the melting ice add to the effect. Try cutting a favorite stuffed toy, or doll/action figure instead, feeling its pain, and then stitch it back up, or bandage it. Journalling thoughts and feelings, or expressing them through drawing or painting yourself can help. Red is a popular color in this activity. LONGER TERM: Set yourself the goal of going a short time without self harming, and without doing anything that helps, either, before finally doing something which helps you to cope. The next day, try for a little longer, and so on..........the longer you go, the more in touch with your emotions, and aware of the reasons why you self harm. The longer you go without self harming, the easier it gets. Those people who had tried journalling/drawing/painting before, but given them up as ineffective, may benefit from another go, at this point. The 5 relaxation techniques described on page 2, under: depression treatments, are often beneficial, but require daily practise, and sometimes overnight transformations happen, but results usually come from them in time, sometimes several days, sometimes several weeks, and they provide an understanding that there is another way of being, where there is no emotional pain. There are alternative methods for more physically inclined people, such as the muscle flexing and relaxing technique on page 2, or Tai Chi, or yoga. Also try the Emotional Freedom Technique, a kind of acupressure therapy, which Dr. Mercola provides free at http://www.mercola.com/ which has versions suitable for use in public, as well. It is important to get rid of any favorite implement used for self harming, as it has probably become a comforting ritual, and the extra time it will afford, gives you time to think about alternatives, instead of acting on impulse. Now would be a good time to do just that, if it is a safe hour to venture outside. Self injury causes a person to manufacture "body opiates", which, like other opiates, have the property of being addictive. Also like opiates, or alcohol, tolerance to their effect develops, but, instead of increasing the dosage, that person often finds that they have to cut more, and deeper, to achieve the same effect. Some time down the track, when they finally realise that it is not the way to go, they are confronted with a mass of scar tissue, and often, socially ostracised as well, and it can also limit job and promotion opportunities, not to mention the risk of infection, or damaging a blood vessel, in some cases. FOR CHRONIC SELF INJURERS ONLY!: When someone decides to give up using addictive drugs, like opiates, they have choices in the methods available. There are some people who will be able to give it up "cold turkey", but others, who have tried doing it that way, but failed, should consider tapering off slowly, over several weeks, just like one of the methods of treating opiate withdrawal: phased reduction. That person will need to have methods of coping in place, for if the urge returns. Consider seeking professional help; either through a doctor, asking to be referred for counselling, or locate a therapist yourself. If in the U.S.A., the following websites are recommended: http://www.athealth.com/ & http://1-800-therapist.com/index.html (should be examined thoroughly!) Phone:1800 843 7274. (USA) General websites: http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injur... & http://www.selfinjury.com/ & http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind & http://www.girlshealth.gov/mind/help.inj... Phone: SAFE: 1800 366 8288 & 1800 dont cut & 1800 992 5757 or 800 448 3000 (all USA numbers). OTHER WEBSITES: http://www.selfharm.net/ (for friends and family, too: there is a web board, and seperate mailing lists for self - injurers, family, and friends). http://www.selfmutilatorsanonymous.org/ (online group meetings based on a 12 step process). Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) http://www.priory.com/dbt.htm & http://www.behavioraltech.com/downloads/... ONLINE CHAT: http://www.careplace.com/ To help with reduction of scarring, Vitamin E cream is one of the cheaper, yet readily available products. Scarzone from Walgreens (US $12) has been highly recommended. Mederma is also one that I would try, but I am unaware as to whether it is prescription only, or an OTC product, like Scarzone, although I imagine it would not be cheap. See a dermatologist (skin specialist) about other solutions, like laser treatment. These calls are all FREE! Be sure to dial the "1" first.
This page will be updated with new numbers as I get them. Thanks. They are in alphabetic order. One day I will organize them by category.
Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling Nineline
1-800-999-9999
Abortion Information
800-772-9100
Post-Abortion Project Rachel
1-800-5WE-CARE
Adoptions- Rosie Adoptions -(if you are pregnant)
1-800-841-0804
AIDS Treatment Information Services
1-800-HIV-0440 (1-800-448-0440)
AIDS National Hotline
1-800-342-2437
Al-Anon/Alateen Hotline
Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker.
1-800-344-2666
Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters
1-800-356-9996
Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline
1-800-662-HELP
Abortion Federation - National (USA)
1-800-772-9100
Be Sober Hotline
1-800-BE-SOBER
Birthright
1-800-550-4900
Boys Town National Hotline
1-800-448-3000
Care Net
1-800-395-HELP(4357)
Center for the Prevention of School Violence
1-800-299-6504
Centers for Disease Control AIDS Info
1-800-342-2437
CHADD-Children & Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
1-800-233-4050
Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Children of the World - (if you want to adopt a child)
973-239-0100
Cocaine Help Line
1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)
24 Hour Cocaine Hotline
1-800-992-9239
Covenant House Nineline
1-800-999-9999
1-877-648-4400
National Adolescent Suicide Hotline
800-621-4000
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK
National Teen Dating Abuse Help
1-866-331-9474
National Youth Crisis Hotline
1-800-448-4663
Self-Injury Hotline
SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program
www.selfinjury.com
1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
Suicide & Crisis Hotline
1-800-999-9999
Suicide Hotline - (National Adolescent)
800-621-4000
Teen Helpline
1-800-400-0900
TeenLine
1-800-522-8336
Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-800-999-9999
Youth Crisis Hotline
1-800-448-4663
1-800-422-0009
It might be that your friend will literally find it impossible to stop until she gets the right supports for herself. You could talk to her about why she cuts, what she feels beforehand and how cutting is a coping method for her right now, because it is. Once she and you know these reasons, it will be easier to help her find replacements. Maybe when she feels like cutting, she could ring you or another trusted person to talk to about how she feels; this might help her not to cut at that time. There could be things that might act as a healthy distraction for her to get through the hard times. Writing or drawing if she likes either of those things can help her express her emotions in a different way. If there are particular times of day or night that she cuts, she could focus on what might help at those times. And if you can encourage her to seek some help, that would be most important. Counselling could be very helpful for her to talk through how she is feeling and find good coping methods. And praise her for managing to stop for 4 days. Even though she cut after that, 4 days was an achievement and maybe next time, it'll be longer. I know it's really hard and disappointing for you but any length of time is good. With the right support, she will be able to stop. And you need to make sure you're not coping alone with this either, take good care of yourself too.