Depressed after having my second son??!
Question: I am 21 years old and i have two sons, one 3 and one 6 months, both are to my partner of 4 years. When i had my first son everything was fine, i loved him as soon as i saw him i enjoyed being a mother, watching him grow etc but however with my second child it is all totally different, i think i may be depressed but am not sure as i don't know what to look for, i gave birth to him 5 weeks prematurley, no idea why, he just came. All through the pregnancy i was looking forward to having another son, even though initially i was desperate for a girl, i was constantly buying things, i went into labour just before 35 weeks and was in bad labour for nearly 3 days but made it though(god knows how) however this time when they put my son on me i felt nothing, i feel so bad for feeling this way because with my first son i loved him as soon as i saw him.
Ever since having him i have really found it hard to cope, i just cannot bond with him as much a siiv tried, it almost feels like hes not even my
Answers: I am 21 years old and i have two sons, one 3 and one 6 months, both are to my partner of 4 years. When i had my first son everything was fine, i loved him as soon as i saw him i enjoyed being a mother, watching him grow etc but however with my second child it is all totally different, i think i may be depressed but am not sure as i don't know what to look for, i gave birth to him 5 weeks prematurley, no idea why, he just came. All through the pregnancy i was looking forward to having another son, even though initially i was desperate for a girl, i was constantly buying things, i went into labour just before 35 weeks and was in bad labour for nearly 3 days but made it though(god knows how) however this time when they put my son on me i felt nothing, i feel so bad for feeling this way because with my first son i loved him as soon as i saw him.
Ever since having him i have really found it hard to cope, i just cannot bond with him as much a siiv tried, it almost feels like hes not even my
You are tired, you weren't ready for baby to come so soon. The elder child will still need looking after. There is nothing at all wrong with you, it's baby blues, or post natal depression. Quite common.
I know it seems extreme, but do sleep when baby sleeps. If he wakes for night-time feeds, don't look at the clock, just feed him, and put him back in his cot. If you are feeding him yourself, lie comfortably, make sure baby in comfy, and relax. Put on relaxing music, quietly, so you can just hear it above baby feeding.
If anyone offers help....take it! You might not think you should, but a break , even for an hour will help you. If your Mum, or mother-in-law live nearby, explain to them, if you get on. I'm sure they'll be happy to help when they can. If they could arrange for you and your partner to have some time alone occasionally, that will help as well. When you become a mother you sometimes lose sight of yourself as a person in your own right. Then you get depressed, I know, I've been there.
And talk to your doctor, or the one that is best with new Mums at your doctor's surgery. You may not need medication, you might just need to talk, and know that you aren't alone. You aren't many Mums go through what you are going through.
Can you not get some other doctor to see you or drop into casualty.
Get your self to your GP sooner if you can, failing that ask your health visitor to come and see you as soon as possible, and be truthful with her...Best of luck...
You are not a bad person you sound like you have post natal depression. Hang on in there until you see your doctor. If you are in the UK can you speak to the health visitor. I suspect some of your problems have occurred because of the baby being premature. Shame it has not been picked up by either midwife directly after birth or health visitors since.
Good luck I hope it works out for you
Just get past the crying get to the good stuff... play with him...teach him t walk...Put him in te stroller and take him ad ur other son on a nice picnic! Just give both sons equal attencion maybe the baby even more but...u no!
yes you probably do have post natal depression, which is very common and is an illness that can be treated, and nothing to be ashamed about, its not your fault!
you should phone up the health visitor aswell as see your doc as they may get you help / advise sooner
as for the termination, please do not beat yourself up about that, there is no way you could have had another baby so soon, you done the best thing you could do for you and your family,
its very hard having children, especially 2 young ones, there is bound to be problems coping, but do get some help
remember its not your fault you have an illness - postnatal depression
good news is its treatable and therefore temporary
There will be light at the end of this tunnel
your doing a great job and just asking on here and making the docs appointment, means you are on the path to recovery
all the best and take care
I suffered like that after my 2nd child. I was afraid to tell anybody incase they took away my kids. I should have asked for help sooner. I ended up getting sectioned in the end and continue to receive help. I have since been diagnosed as bipolar. Ask for help and say how you feel. It'll only get worse hun, honest, ive been there. You are not a failure. Your brain is just not working as it should.
I was lucky enough to have a supportive partner also. Ask for help hun and you'll gradually improve and you will bond with the baby. I feel for you hun hope this helps you to see your not on your own xxxxxx
These are some helps
Yoga, meditation, Pilate
Breathing exercises
Tapping technique and EFT
Affirmations and Self Hypnosis or Self Talk.
Reading good books like