HELP!! What can I do with an "out-of-control" 11 years old girl?!


Question: My daughter is 11 years old. Today, one of her teachers in middle-school told me & the vice-principal that she just couldn't handle my daughter anymore. My daughter YELLS OUT INAPPROPRIATE things in the classroom & disrupts the class (almost EVERYDAY!)
There is a history here. When she was residing with the father's family, they were physically abusive to her. On 12/26/06, she & her 9 yrs old sister were trapped in the house. My 11 years old was pulled-out of the burning house & REVIVED by the Fire Department. The grandfather died on his injuries 1 month later. She & her sister spent a month in the hospital.(Both have burn scars). I try to have some understanding of all the TRAUMA that she has gone through in her little years; but, her school is at "wits-end" with her! Yes, she is in counselling & has been for OVER A YEAR!
What can I do to help her control this outburst of behavior?
Right now, she is just saying over-and-over, "I don't care! I don't care!" What is wrong with her?


Answers: My daughter is 11 years old. Today, one of her teachers in middle-school told me & the vice-principal that she just couldn't handle my daughter anymore. My daughter YELLS OUT INAPPROPRIATE things in the classroom & disrupts the class (almost EVERYDAY!)
There is a history here. When she was residing with the father's family, they were physically abusive to her. On 12/26/06, she & her 9 yrs old sister were trapped in the house. My 11 years old was pulled-out of the burning house & REVIVED by the Fire Department. The grandfather died on his injuries 1 month later. She & her sister spent a month in the hospital.(Both have burn scars). I try to have some understanding of all the TRAUMA that she has gone through in her little years; but, her school is at "wits-end" with her! Yes, she is in counselling & has been for OVER A YEAR!
What can I do to help her control this outburst of behavior?
Right now, she is just saying over-and-over, "I don't care! I don't care!" What is wrong with her?

post tramatic stress syndrom? id get ther to talk to somone, maybe shes holding, alot of stuff in, poor thing...get her to a good child dr

Let her know that its not right, to do this at school or anywhere for that matter. Let her know that you love her and want to talk to her tell her that you understand what happened and that she should talk to you about it. To try not to be bad at school. Bribe her?

Good luck!!

beat them with an ugly stick

There are a couple of excellent websites that give tips on how to handle difficult children... I think there are a couple of excellent links in the research section at http://newfreebooks.com I hope that helps...

and don't forget to take care of yourself... don't let anyone pull you down.. even your own child. Keep yourself strong, since sooner or later she will be listening to you.

Also, I would think about the things she eats... sometimes all the chemicals in our "conveniece" food have horrible effects on a person... that can agrivate an existing problem.

Do you really want an easy life? Perhaps you don't really want one and that's why you are not getting one. Or perhaps you do - but you want it too badly. Maybe you try so hard to keep stress at bay that you end up getting tense! Many say that the key to success involves knowing what you want. But often it is more important just to know what you don't want. The quickest way to reach your current goal is to become far less bothered about whether or not you actually get there! Stand back - and you'll move on!

WVWVWVWVW

That is tough. I think one thing to tell her (and often) is that you love her. No matter what she does or says, you will always love and care for her.

If you can, you might try a school aimed at special needs kids. Do they know all of what went on?

I don't know if pet therapy would help? Give her art supplies and have her draw about things she has been feeling?

Have you been talking to her therapist as well? Maybe they have some ideas about activities she could do to heal. or at least distract her.

You will have to try to sort it out. She does need help so badly. In the first instance, go to see your doctor and get some advice about counselling for her.

Good Luck

I would venture a guess that she has feelings bottled up inside that she cannot handle. I would also say that if her behavior is cotinuing for so long, she must be getting something out of it. It could be attention, the ability to keep others at a distance, or that she enjoys meeting with her counselors and does not want this to stop. It could even be a cry for help. But before I can safely say this, I would rule out any possibility of a disorder such as bipolar, ADHD, or borderline personality. I would have her take some sort of evaluation to rule out these possibilities.

slap her and say shut the f***k up make your face angry looking to emphasize on your pissed-off mood that should quite it her for a while ..jk idk im

how was she prior to this? maybe the fire caused some brain cells to die? im not trying to be insensitive here just trying to throw out some ideas to you....talk with the school and give them the history and see if they are willing to give her another shot.

She might have a psychiatric disorder. Try taking her to a psychiatrist and if they diagnose her with something then they can prescribe medicine for her and that will really help a lot. She could be bipolar, have ADHD, or even depression. Hopefully this helps!

Sorry to say this, cus I know it hurts, but the problem is always the same= discipline. Parents today just will not discipline thier children. I know, you huff and puff and say I dont know what I'am talking about and children cant be physically punished now days. But just take a look around at our schools and homes. Teenagers are just running around doing whatever they want. When they are 12 they think they're 20. Parents have to discipline the child or your never going to stop any of the problems.You can try all the counceling in the world,but its just not going to work.





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