I'm a loser?!
Question: I'm 19 and doing nothing with my life. I tried college for a couple of weeks, but left. I suffer from social anxiety disorder and OCD and am on medication for it, but I'm still more comfortable in the house. I'm addicted to food and I'm watching the world pass me by. I have so many thoughts about changing, but the ultimate futility of everything always creeps up on me and it's hard not to think cynically about people and life. I struggled with religious fear for a long time and am finally overcoming that, but I still have passing fears that grip me. How can I pick myself up? I've tried counselors, but I get nowhere with them, because I can't coherently explain that reality feels either too real or unreal to me. They feel useless, friends are living their own lives, and I feel like I'm going to die a loser. Sorry for this rant.
Answers: I'm 19 and doing nothing with my life. I tried college for a couple of weeks, but left. I suffer from social anxiety disorder and OCD and am on medication for it, but I'm still more comfortable in the house. I'm addicted to food and I'm watching the world pass me by. I have so many thoughts about changing, but the ultimate futility of everything always creeps up on me and it's hard not to think cynically about people and life. I struggled with religious fear for a long time and am finally overcoming that, but I still have passing fears that grip me. How can I pick myself up? I've tried counselors, but I get nowhere with them, because I can't coherently explain that reality feels either too real or unreal to me. They feel useless, friends are living their own lives, and I feel like I'm going to die a loser. Sorry for this rant.
I also have OCD and anxiety and I used to feel the same way. But I started getting therapy and that helped me a lot, I took an extra year to get my BS but now i'm in medical school. Put your self out there and take advantage of any help or support you can get. In a couple of years you will look back on this point and realize that it gave you personality and you will appreciate what you will have because you (like me) had to work a bit more for what you want.
You sound like you're sick, not a loser. Once you get your head sorted out, things will look better!
Watch the movie The Secret or read the book. It's helped a lot of people and is a bestseller.
try spending more time with friends and people you trust, i dont think youre a loser, maybe misguided....
get a hobby to meet like minded people. get a job so
you're not home all the time. good luck
NOBody is a loser.you maybe be in a bad situation.just hope
Hun, you are not a loser. No one is a loser. Keep trying to do different things, try a hobby, you will find something you would like to do. :hugs:
You are certainly NOT a loser! Just the fact that you are seeking out help is a sign that you want to change for the better and are willing to do something about it. A suggestion I have for you is to read a GREAT book that my mother actually gave to me called "The Secret" by Linda Byrne. You are young and have so much life ahead of you and many chances to learn and become strong and happy. Godspeed:D
Go to the library and read everything you can about social anxiety disorder and OCD. This will help you better manage it.
Find a profession that you can do from your home. Or a profession that doesn't require a lot of social interaction.
Good luck.
You need to start out with not calling yourself a "loser" or any other negative term. You are only 19 - most of your life is ahead of you and it truly is in YOUR hands now. I also suffer social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, and other phobias, but I have not let it get in the way - I acknowledge my fears, but defy them. Take small steps, find interesting projects (volunteer or otherwise), perhaps in less trafficked, quiet areas (I volunteered for the local library, which was perfect for me). But before anything else, STOP CALLING YOURSELF A "LOSER". First off, you can't lose what you never had; and negative terms only reinforce that negative self-image.
You are overthinking things that you have no control over. Just let it be and get on with your personal intrests. Don't sit there and blob out on food. If you want to talk, contact me.
Don't be sorry. You need something to live for is what you need. Try getting a pen pal or getting an online friend! Someone that will listen! Someone who wont judge you and will be there and help you with some tough choices in life. You are only 19 hun, you have your whole life ahead of you. Try getting in a relationship even. Heck, Email me! I'll listen! I have nothing better to do either! Then you can hear my life story too, trust me it's funny! Email me your contact info, and I'll help you through this. If ya want.
You need to look at your friends lives and see what you envy about them, it may help you see what you want from life. Then instead of telling yourself you're a loser all the time, go get yourself a job or enrol back in college.
I know it's hard, it's so easy just to stay indoors all the time, but you just need to force yourself. Each day force yourself to go out even if it's just for a walk, then force yourself to go to college and try not to think about how much you don't want to go just that your long term goal is for that to be normal.
Good luck :o)
I too went through what you are feeling. What I did was just stopped. One day I had enough, and i just stopped everything. I still have a touch of OCD of course... But really, life is way to short to be thinking about things like that. I remember just sitting in my room all day with my mind onn over drive, freaking out and crying constantly. But I got sick of it, and decided to just look at the bright side. I don't know if that's useful information for you, I wish i could help but really no one can help you at this point, especially on here. You need to sort things out in your own head before people start to sort them out for you, you know? Obviously you don't like feeling like this, so what's stopping you? Yourself. You can controll it, and you'll be okay! Just really try to get out, keep your mind off things. I know I am NEVER home anymore, I can't stand to be in my room for more than a couple hours, and I hate sleeping alone here.
But good Luck, and I wish I had better advice..
Keep yourself busy and take care. :)
exercise and a good diet will help i think if you feel good on the inside then it shows on the outside and then maby your confidence will gradually build so you don't feel as anxious while outside the house
You're mot a loser, your obviously confused, do u have a religion?
you said u have a fear of religion but are getting over it, God can help in all kinds of ways, if u ask someone to pray for u in a local church then help will come. Also, there is this number that u can ring that is really helpful, it is 0800 1111, It isnt a load of counsellors who cant understand you, they have a lot of experience and they can really help you. I hope you get sorted soon. x
Wow that's really sad. 4 starters I would start off with a job first, it don't have to be a big job but something you like to do so you can earn some cash. You might want to get a pet like a dog cause my dog always cheers me up. And always try to have confidence.
There is really only one way to pick yourself up. And that's just to do it. I do understand where you are coming from. I am 26 with no GED or diploma and have been stuck inside my house for the last 2 years. I am suffering from a massive problem in my knee that prohibits me from doing the most simplest tasks. Many times I have felt like you do. That the world is going by and I'm roting away.
If you have the motivation and want to pick yourself up and move on, just do it. That's really all there is to it. You have to have the want and desire to change. From the sounds of it, you do. The hardest part is actually achieving it. You sound like you have strength. Now take just a little faith and mix it with the strength and that will be the first step.
Don't let anyone rush you. Do it at your own pace. Slowly.
Ummm...u might find this funny, but according to me you need a friend, meaning a guy, who u can feel comfortable with. Who can help you with you career and your personal life, try stop taking medication. try to go outside, live with the people around you. No one can hurt u. You are also an average teenager try to think like that. All I can say is that you are having a problem of Inferiority complex. Think of yourself equal to others. U definitely find a change in yourself. Make some friends who are real. This world is very harsh, u'll have to find a way for yourself by yourself. Be strong from inside....
You are not a loser.
Set a goal for yourself. You don't want College that fine. Go look for a job, volunteer in the community do something to get your self out there.
Go out for walks or running, that can help clear your head.
If things still get worse seek professional help. You said you've spoken to counselors, try psychologist.
loser is just a term people use to insult others. Fact is, no one's a loser.
I think your perception of what life should be is giving you the pressure. You probably have a perception that you feel you cannot live up to, and so you're somewhat hard on yourself.
Well, don't be hard on yourself. No one's perfect. Many people are just like you, failed college, has no ambition, and many other worse situation such as broken family. Sometimes its not about fixing those problems, but its about living with it.
If you've ever had a dream, wanting to become something or to persue something, this is the best time to focus on that. Doing this itself will give you something to focus on and so you well have sense of direction in life.
Don't let all your other problem brings you down. If you have problems socializing, forget about socializing. I'm not good at that either and i can live without needing to have alot of friends.
You're not useless at all. You're just like all of us, facing many problems in life, which should and must be there.
So don't feel any lesser of yourself.
try going on walks by yourself. I go on walks by myself and I listen to my ipod and it's very calming. and sometimes if I see other people I go the opposite way.
My mom thinks I have ocd. I wash my hands all the time and after I touch things if my hands feel weird I have to wash them.
When i was your age, I was in the exact same shoes. Every day felt like a year. My addiction to food embarrassed me and comforted me at the same time. I spent five years in this situation until I finally realized that it takes babysteps (I hate how that term sounds!) and the realization that I was complicating life by overthinking things. That could be considered the curse of the intelligent! It is as simple as finding your purpose in life; that which gives you pure joy. I definitely wasn't ready for college at the age of 19, but at 24 I went very successfully. In regards to religious fear, there is a website called Beliefnet.com that offers a compassionate view of all religionsand is very helpful to me. You are an intelligent person, wise enough to reach out for help. Your future is an adventure, finding out how strong and unique you are. THAT IS NOT A LOSER! Bless your journey.
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Get some anti depressant pills.
Try not to feel like a loser. I think that the person who wrote to say take baby steps is an the money. Or another one is take care of the little things and the big things will take care of themselves. I struggle with the same illness and so does my daughter and husband it is always one step forward two steps backward but little by little you get ahead. You are facing a great invisible challenge but you can find inner strength. I struggled with religious fears and found the Unitarian Univeralist Church helpful but I am an atheist.