I desperately need some advice on my behavior.?!
Question: I am going through a really hard time right now. I am self conscious, and conflict is so hard for me to deal with. I want to stand up for myself, but it seems impossible. And it seems whenever I try to truly be myself, I can't because I don't know who I am. I want to be genuine with people, and actually be truthful. I don't want to seem like a fraud. I am always apologizing, and I know there is more to life than this.
Answers: I am going through a really hard time right now. I am self conscious, and conflict is so hard for me to deal with. I want to stand up for myself, but it seems impossible. And it seems whenever I try to truly be myself, I can't because I don't know who I am. I want to be genuine with people, and actually be truthful. I don't want to seem like a fraud. I am always apologizing, and I know there is more to life than this.
Well my friend.
What would u do if u were alone in this world and with all possibilities that u see nowadays? I mean only u and the whole world. Would u try to obtain resources and use for ur well being? If u answer no, then its illogical; otherwise, everyone is responsible to work and strive for his life and well-being and even help other if he/she can.
U need to believe one thing. All people in this planet are ur friends and anything in this planet is created for your well-being. It's your job to behave with people in a way, that u can get thier attention and make your friend and work to obtain resources for yourself with your hard work.
What matter or problem you face, don't worry and don't blame yourself for happening. It comes to every one, the best possible way to cope with conflicts and problems is to think logically what you should do. Take some time and think about the matter, look in the books or ask a friend for help. In hard moments try to amaze yourself with something that you enjoy, so that you can forget the problem for the moment when you are not mentally ready to deal with.
You are standing for yourself, because you're looking to solve a problem and understand what are your weaknesses. That's great! Only a few people have ability to understand thier weaknesses. You only need to believe on this. Repeat this regulary. I AM STANDING FOR MY SELF AND I'M PERSON WHO CAN EXPLORE THE WORLD. BECAUSE I BELIEVE THAT HIS WORLD IS CREATED FOR ME AND MY WELL-BEING AND I WILL USE TO TALENT AND ABILITIES TO HELP MY SELF AND OTHERS.
The only thing that can keep from apalogizing is to behave carefully. Try to do good things and be honest. Speak honestly, even if u do something bad. Honest people are always respected.
Don't care what others think about you. U have ur own life and own attitude. Do what u think is good and healthy for you. Respect the law and others right. And don't care about others words, only if you are sure that someones words are useful for you.
Listen what others say. Get what u think is good and interesting for you and forget what you don't like.
I'm sure you can do everything! Only if you decide. Your life is yours. Take it and value it.
You need to relax a little and worry about yourself,,,,then
other people and there feelings,,,,,,,,
If you starve to death because of anyone that you have
not put before yourself,,,,
Then please forgive,,,,,,,,,,
You need to accomplish one thing and you will most likely be able to kill all your birds with that one stone.
Don't be self conscious, gain confidence, learn to love that person staring back at you in the mirror and once you have that done, the rest will fall in place.
well, you seem like you have a low self esteem issue...maybe you should talk to your parents (if you're a minor) about going to therapy...ya don't need meds...you just need to talk to someone about your problem. tell someone soon, it's always good to get help. trust me, i grew up thinking i never needed to ask for help (especially if it were about school) and when the time came when i knew i desperately needed guidance, it took me awhile to tell someone in my family about how i am feeling...so don't wait forever, please tell someone. you will work it out soon once you get help from somebody!
relax make new friends and just be your self
Wow, i seem to be going through the same thing as you. Unfortunately i just try and ignore it and continue to be an introvert. I;ve found more comfort with books and my own conscience then the harsh society of mankind. But followng that path would be a mistake. Try and blend in and help others with stuff. Be polite and corteous n gain their respect, then they won't care about your behaviour. Be polite n help them out. I;ve wandered down a path that is interminable and too lengthy. I;m lost on this journey of life and can't return.
Keep hope but if things dont work out try books
They're the future dude...
take care n dont even think of suicide. I ave before n it isnt worth it
if you ant you then you are just living a lie
Did someone abuse you recently by judging you....was it hard to deal with....you don't have to apologize for living.
You are going through a transition right now, give it time and you'll be fine. Take this opportunity for the healing that you need. Stay truthful.
ok here is the good news we ALL feel like that however some people handle it better more than others..don't worry this is just a phase in your life and nothing more...all you have to do is just go with the flow...your problem is not going to be fixed over night but try to stay calm in situations that overwhelm you or if you can..just try to avoid them
i think your problem is actually in your self esteem because people who are confident do not have that problem ...so maybe you should work on that...don't be so hard on yourself when you feel like you have "failed" yourself in a situation because remember in life we have to fail so we can learn from our mistakes ....
i also think this problem will never go away if you keep giving it all your attention because it's like nurturing a monster in your head that you have created ....just forget about it ..go with the flow ..enjoy life ..work on your self esteem and i am not going to tell you to go look at yourself in the mirror and evaluate yourself because that's just weird ...but this is what you can do ..go listen to your favorite song and think of all the stuff that you have done in your life like activities or things that you have succeeded and you will know who you are and what makes you, you; )
uhm i suggest you see a consuler (not in a mean way) so maybe you can get your feelings out and express them with him/her.
I understand what you are saying, i feel that way all the time, except that i try to please everyone ignoring what i want or need. It all has to start with you, you have to try and standup for your self.
Yeah people say its good to talk to yourself infront of a mirror, well i tried and its hard as hell, you will probably feel silly, but its worth the try.
Same here i am not sure who i am or what i want and that prevents me from being myself.
Dont apologize unless its really your fault, but i am quite sure that, that is not the case. Just the way we are makes us thing we are at fault, but NO, we are not. You just need to give yourself a little push and say that you did what you had, you said what you had and that NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT.
Basically what i am saying is that its not easy to stop feeling that way, but its all up to you because people will take advantage of your way of acting.
I might have misunderstood what you are saying but i tried helping, good luck
you can also see a counselor,(it didnt work for me) but ppl are different.
I went throught the same feelings when I was a teenager, I felt so self conscious that I seemed to think too hard about everything I said or did, and because I was concentrating so hard on how I sounded or looked, I ended up not sounding genuine. What helped me with my self consciousness was simply looking around at everyone else, and realizing that many many people are even more shy and self conscious than you are. Try befriending someone who looks like they need a friend even more than you do, and you will find it easier to be yourself. I was picked on in school, and was never able to stand up for myself, but I developed the strength and courage to after I stood up for other people who were being picked on. I have always found helping others is one of the best ways to help yourself. Good Luck!
Anna, everyone goes through the self-conscious phase, because we are looking for who we are. It's OK and normal. People just show it to different degrees. I would suggest making it a point to search out who you are. This is a very important and healthy part of life. We cannot function and be ourselves unless we first find and accept ourselves. But the key is to be kind to yourself and give yourself time. It's ok to not be perfectly confident all the time. Nobody actually is. Many people present themselves this way just to cover up.
If you are having a hard time being genuine or honest, it could also be that you don't trust the worth of your opinion or ideas. The fact that you always apologize shows that you feel quilty or saying something you did. Again, forgive yourself and let yourself slip and say things that are silly or awkward.
Here are some practical things you can do to help yourself:
1)buy a journal and name it letters to myself, write in it as often as you want about your days, especially your personal feelings , sad or happy, boring or exciting. before you write tell yourself to be honest to yourself. When you write, completely turn off the rest of the world and that part of you that's critical of yourself. I call it the devil. You can think of it as your enemy. Either way try not to side with im.
2)retrack to childhood memories and write down the parts that you remember the most, who were the people, where was the place, what happened, how did you feel? Write down at least 4 different positive /negative stories. On another day, read them again, and draw down how you feel the experience influenced you, molded you, or give clues to what you love, hate or want. Hopefully these will give you ideas about your passion, hobbies, hurts or longings. These things tell you a lot about who you are.
Then ask yourself if those parts of you need healing or need further development or notice or expansion?
3)Find God. Grab a bible and read it. Pray to God to show Himself to you if He was real. Repent sins and invite Jesus's love and salvation to rescue you.
4)See a counselor. Counselling is really important and very useful tool for these kinds of issues. I had a time of depression that was coupled with low self-esteem or anxiety. I must say having a good counselor helped me
tremendously. Just remember you don't have to be a mental patient to see counselling. Everyone should see one to stay healthy and happy. Go do it.
5) Believe in yourself and your worth. God made you for a reason. Hardships mean that you have what it takes and you will learn something out of it. God bless and I hope you find yourself a happy healthy person soon!