Is there ANYTHING I can do to keep my husband from going to IRAQ?!
Question: I need help, possibly psychiatric help. I just got the devastating news 2 days ago. There is a good chance he will leave in just 2 weeks! He will be gone for 15+ months. Everyone says I am strong and I'll do fine...it's not true. I am sure of it! I will not be able to go on. I know there are so many people that have had their loved ones go, and many have not returned. I also know that I cannot and will not deal with it. I have three kids and I am a full time student. I barely get through as it is...I am not as strong as I let people think. Since I have found out I feel neglectful almost. I don't want to get out of bed, the depression consumes me. I want to kill myself if he leaves. Someone help, can't he stay? I need answers...and not the ones that tell me it'll all work out yada yada yada...please help me, I've gone crazy, seriously.
Answers: I need help, possibly psychiatric help. I just got the devastating news 2 days ago. There is a good chance he will leave in just 2 weeks! He will be gone for 15+ months. Everyone says I am strong and I'll do fine...it's not true. I am sure of it! I will not be able to go on. I know there are so many people that have had their loved ones go, and many have not returned. I also know that I cannot and will not deal with it. I have three kids and I am a full time student. I barely get through as it is...I am not as strong as I let people think. Since I have found out I feel neglectful almost. I don't want to get out of bed, the depression consumes me. I want to kill myself if he leaves. Someone help, can't he stay? I need answers...and not the ones that tell me it'll all work out yada yada yada...please help me, I've gone crazy, seriously.
you need to go see a shrink..because for him to be in the military he needs to be able to perform his job and if you are going nutso on him ...he cant do that...you can see a therapist thru the base..and alot of people do not think they can handle them leaving...they do...you have three kids that depend on you..there are hearts apart luncheons and give the parent a break night on base..get involved in these things...you can sign up for everything that comes around for the kids activity wise so that they are doing something and not thinking about him being gone either...you say you know that you cannot and will not deal with it....you are choosing this....you want to kill yourself? you need meds and not because he is leaving...something in you isnt stable and if he doesnt go its a matter of time before you go boom...seriously get help now...and deal with this..whether it be meds or some serious therapy
ok the thing is he was already enlisted...many women go thru depression when their husbands are leaving..ill be the first to tell you i went thru it twice..my husband is active duty..and when he enlisted we were not involved in any type of war or skirmish..he has been to iraq..he has been to afganistan and to kuwaitt...and getting ready to go back to the area again...my son was in the first stages of kidney failure the year he was in korea...and he has been on many deployments in between going to the desert...the thing is...you pick yourself up..and you live for your children if you cannot at this point live for yourself....although there isnt a base near by you...go to the dr anyway..go to a shrink get on some mood evaluators..sitting and thinking about what could happen or what will happen is only going to make the depression worse....live your life dont wallow in it...i feel for you i do but i also know sitting here typing things to you that agrees with what you say isnt the way to go..you have to hear the truth the truth is he is national guard.....they always go first..and beyond all that...he is going...get help for yourself get help for your kids...
No, he can't stay. He made a commitment to the USA and he probably has the integrity to fulfill his commitment.
You have some choices. You can make him miserable and worry about leaving you, or you can choose to put on a brave face for the next few weeks.
You also have children that you MUST care for and be strong for, whether or not you want to. That is what good mothers do.
There is lots of help available for you. Ask at the military base for counseling help, and for help with your kids. Also, I know that military families help give one another emotional support when their loved ones are overseas, so get together with some of the other mothers and fathers whose spouses are deployed.
I understand your anxiety, but you are going to HAVE to pull yourself together for your own sake, as well as for the sake of your husband and babies.
That all being said, read what you wrote.
I hope you haven't said any of this to your husband, or it will be apparent that you are attempting to emotionally blackmail him. (i.e. -- you MUST love me more than the army or I'm going to kill myself).
Please see a doctor right away. I think it is evident that there are some deeply underlying emotional and psychological issues involved here, that have nothing to do with your husband's upcoming deployment.
nothing you can do. He took an oath to serve his country. Check with your husbands unit, there should be a spouse support group, or your installations family advocacy group.
My husband is just getting back from Iraq & it is hard, but so is life. You need to talk to your Dr about some antidepressants. No one wants their loved ones to go over there, but he made a commitment to his country as well & I'm assuming he did this before you married him, so this was always a possibility. Prayer works. Sorry you have to go throught his, but I've been there, done that, & I'm still breathing, so whether you want to hear it or not, you will be fine & he will come home. Take each day, one day at a time & keep yourself busy so it goes by faster.
RN & Army wife
I agree with scot girl
You can break his kneecaps, then they won't ship him off. But I don't think he'd appreciate that.