How do I control my nervousness when talking with authority?!
Question: I always get really nervous when talking with those in authority such as my boss, professors, and interviewers. How do I control my nervousness or at least try not to show it? I tend to talk really fast when I get nervous and my body gets really tense and my voice gets shaky.
Answers: I always get really nervous when talking with those in authority such as my boss, professors, and interviewers. How do I control my nervousness or at least try not to show it? I tend to talk really fast when I get nervous and my body gets really tense and my voice gets shaky.
While waiting to go in to speak to "authority" figures do some calm deep breathing to counts of six, holding your breath for a count of six between each inhale and exhale.
Now that you are relaxed, relax :) Yer' cool!
A conversation is just an exchange of information - no matter who you are talking to. You are there to give and/or get information to reach a common goal. You are on the same side. The fact that someone has authority status does not mean they are there to look down on you. They have been trusted with that responsibility because they are qualified to guide you.
Don't worry that you will say the wrong thing. And don't be afraid to ask questions as they come up during the conversation. It doesn't make you look stupid, it shows you are interested and it helps you see the situation through their eyes more clearly. You stay in the conversation and don't get left behind on some fuzzy point stressing out that you don't know what the heck they are talking about.
Avoid being defensive when getting feedback. Do not take it personally and it will keep your emotions even and your demeanor calm. They are just giving you information so that you can do the job better.
Always tell your boss, professor, authority figure what worked before you tell them what didn't. Establish early in any status report that you are a problem solver so authority figures will stay calm when you deliver less satisfying news. This will help avoid getting off on the wrong foot about a subject.
It sounds weird but when I was about do my interview, I was worried about other things besides the interview and I did a great job for the interview and wasn't nervous.
So sometimes worrying about other things instead of what I should be doing help me a lot
OH, I know what you mean. I think it is an insecurity. I just try to think to myself, that these are just people too. Just like us. They are no better than us. Just show them respect, the way you want it. If they are decent people, they will return it.
If you will seriously try this it may help. I'm not saying I have the best answer but at least try it once and see if it helps. While talking to your boss or any authority figure just imagine that they're in their underwear and you'll take them a lot less serious. I know, it's silly but it works for some people. We have to use tools, even if they're silly ones if we're gonna survive in this world!
You see the other person as an equal. Or, you don't feel that the outcome is going to ruin your life - you get a perspective on the situation. This takes practice, but you can do it. I did.
Bullshit confidence. Works everytime.