Fear of accidental suicide?!
Question: Ok, well I have a lot of things going on.. Especially with graduation coming up, and my first year of high school is going to be really screwed up. Anyways, I have a lot problems, but I can't get help for them. I'm not going to elaborate, but my mom doesn't know, and I can't tell her. I cut myself, hit myself, and I take pills when I'm depressed, stressed, or just upset. I can't help it, and I don't realize what I'm doing until I'm done. I worry my boyfriend and so many of my friends and I hate doing it. I've taken enough pills to knock myself out, and I'm scared I'll take more than that if I get more upset. I'm scared I'll hit myself too hard and cause damage in my head, and I'm scared I'll cut and hit a vein. I'm not asking for lectures and I'm not asking you to judge me, I'm asking for help. I want to know how to calm myself down and get control back when I'm upset. It's like I'm a whole different person. I'm really scared.. Please help?
I'm sorry for the lack of detail.
Thanks.
Answers: Ok, well I have a lot of things going on.. Especially with graduation coming up, and my first year of high school is going to be really screwed up. Anyways, I have a lot problems, but I can't get help for them. I'm not going to elaborate, but my mom doesn't know, and I can't tell her. I cut myself, hit myself, and I take pills when I'm depressed, stressed, or just upset. I can't help it, and I don't realize what I'm doing until I'm done. I worry my boyfriend and so many of my friends and I hate doing it. I've taken enough pills to knock myself out, and I'm scared I'll take more than that if I get more upset. I'm scared I'll hit myself too hard and cause damage in my head, and I'm scared I'll cut and hit a vein. I'm not asking for lectures and I'm not asking you to judge me, I'm asking for help. I want to know how to calm myself down and get control back when I'm upset. It's like I'm a whole different person. I'm really scared.. Please help?
I'm sorry for the lack of detail.
Thanks.
Sometimes people have weird reasons for not telling their parents or adults things. I should know - I hid my pregnancy from my mom at all costs... she didn't know until the day *after* my son was born! So I totally understand the fear behind telling your mom anything. You don't know how she'll react, and the way she reacted to way lesser things really isn't encouraging.
But this is serious. Even if it means taking yourself to the ER when you are in a really bad way and being hospitalized, do it. It will put you in a place away from your mom and she will have to talk to professionals about your problems, and won't be able to badger you about it, if that's what you fear. You'll have people to support you and you'll learn a lot.
I know where you're coming from and I hope things look up soon! Even if you hit rock bottom first, cause then there's no where to go but up.
You should really contact your school counselor and arrange for some help, as you are in serious need of professional help. I would suggest you learn meditation or self-hypnosis as a way to calm yourself down, and hide the things you use to cut yourself with so it takes time to get to them.
Dana (M.S. Counseling)
You should start by asking a pastor or an adult you trust for help. Maybe your guidance couselor at school or a teacher. I know it might be hard but they can help you better than a stranger on here.
I will be praying for you and always keep in mind the creator of this universe died for you so you could give your problems to him. Keep you head up and remember someone loves you.
You need to speak to a doctor. I am not a therapist, I cannot diagnose you, or tell you what you need. Either a doctor or school t herapist can help you. This is what I feel you should do.
Try to talk it out? I was like that a few weeks ago. I was so depressed I refused to eat and I was reallyyy messed up. I think in your case you should find someone you trust enough to talk about it to. There has to be some reason why you are doing this. Can you figure it out at all? Family problems? Something wrong at school? Keep a journal. And make a pact to yourself you will stop doing certain things from now on. Focus on positive stuff in your life. I also think seeking help is a good idea. Try a counselor at school. They can really help you out. Or even if it's at all possible to tell your mom? I told mine and it was soooo hard (my voice broke countless times) but I knew it was best for me so I had to. She'll be able to cut you slack, and you can take time of and relieve stress and figure things out. If you ever want to talk about anything you can email me! I hope this helped
sounds exactly like me my freshman year. i told a friend that i was having problems with all of that and he said not to do it and to talk to him whenever i wanted to. it didnt last too long b/c he wasnt there for me as long as i wanted him to be. but i did slow down on the cutting and quit the drugs. try writing or ripping things apart or get stuffed animals or pillows and get a knife and stab the hell out of them or stab the wall.... depending on how mad you are. try drawing. or try talking things out. and talk to your mom when you are calm. tell her how you've been feeling. you can tell her vaguely...just enough to get her to take you to a therapist and they can help you with everything. and they will keep all of that confidential from your mom. she wont know about the hitting or cutting or taking pills. but only if you stick to your word and get help from the therapist. dont wait until its too late. i didnt go to therapy until this year and they have me ****** up on drugs b/c i continued to cut.
omg u sound just like me...but i do go to therapy and i take antidepressants...and u dont want to see my arms!...i have made myself black out before too...u need to get help...u cant do this on ur own. i thought i could but i ended up in the hospital, my life is screwed upp, and i lost everything when i changed.