Can I change this?!
Question: I'm socially anxious, shy, don't know how to dress, suck at communicating, am lonely, and could stand to lose weight. Is it really possible for me to change at this point? Am I always going to be the weird, quiet one? I'm on medication for anxiety and have tried therapy for a while, but the fact remains that I'm just socially strange. How can I change, and is it even possible to change my nature? Thanks.
Answers: I'm socially anxious, shy, don't know how to dress, suck at communicating, am lonely, and could stand to lose weight. Is it really possible for me to change at this point? Am I always going to be the weird, quiet one? I'm on medication for anxiety and have tried therapy for a while, but the fact remains that I'm just socially strange. How can I change, and is it even possible to change my nature? Thanks.
Sounds like me in secundary school, 5 years ago.
wear a walkman/mp3-player when you go out, it stops the awkward feeling that you HAVE to talk to people.
Get some online friends to chat with through groups of people who share your interests (look some up on Yahoo!Groups, they're really good - I've met most of my friends that way). It also helps with communication.
As for your weight, it depends how much you weigh. i was just about on the edge between healthy and overweight at 18, my sister was constantly nagging me that I was fat, but once I went to college and was away from those constant reminders, somehow I started losing weight without even trying. Could also have been because I came out of puberty by then. Lost at least a stone since and now have to be careful NOT to lose more weight! So basically, in my experience, if you're just slightly overweight, start going everywhere on foot and other than that, don't worry about it - it'll be off in no time.
Oh and for the dressing: wear whatever you like - just this week I threw a bunch of stuff together when dressing for work as I didn't have much left to choose from, and I got a compliment for "dressing so nicely". don't bother following the fashion, let the fashion follow you! LOL
We all go through the awkward stage. As you get older, have more experience talking to people it will get easier. Self-improvement is always possible.
Develop your self esteem. Do things for yourself, that you like. You don't need to worry about being socially strange. You may grow out of it.
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First of all, I love the weird quiet types. They are the most facinating people, but yes you can change all the things you said even, being shy. You need to start by doing something so simple. Smile and say hello to everyone you see. A smile is worth a thousand words. Next you didn't say if you worked or not. I was a totally shy person. I made myself get a job in the public eye. I worked in a deli where I had to greet people all day. After that it started to be a little easier to talk to people. You can do anything you want. It just means you have to step out of the box. I have all the confidence in the world in you. YOU CAN DO IT, I promise.
im really sorry that you feel you are alone in this world. I wont go into detail on this cuz it will mtake so much space. You feel anxious because you feel you do not no what to do in socoil situations and you feel that people are above you which makes it even harder. this is a situation that can be resolved quicker than you think. there are many books out there that can really help you on this subject. I wont point out which one because there are so many just choose the one you like. within a couple of months your outlook on life will change. You are not socailly strange I think you dont pretend and act like the others in socail situation. most of them i can garantee you have personal problems but they keep it hidden.
hey its cool
part of growing up and learning about life
advise?...yeah...don't worry.....go with the flow and feel free to be YOU!
As you get older you will learn how to handle certain situations. I suspect you are afraid of making a mistake in social circumstances. The shyness will go away as will the lonelyness. Start a diet, get lots of exercise as this will release your feel good hormones in your brain. Once you get some confidence in yourself you will start feeling much better about thing. You can change, you just have to put forth an effort to do it.
Maybe you're not telling your psychologist or counsellor everything, you really should, doesn't matter how stupid you feel it is.
Otherwize he can't help you.. keep that in mind ;)
Not criticizing you, just trying to help