How do you deal?!
Question: I recently lost my baby boy on 01-07-08. He was born on 11-07-07, when i was only 24 wks and 3 days along. He held on for 2 months, but his little body just couldn't handle the stress anymore, and he went into kidney failure...which caused his body to fill up with fluid and it was too much pressure on his heart and his heart rate kept dropping despite the efforts of the doctor and nurses...they were doing all they could. So, my fiance & I decided to stop his suffering and took him off of the machines.
I've been trying to move forward in life, but sometimes all I want to do is go back. I'm starting school (college) next monday, so that's a big start for me...I've decided to go into nursing, so I'm going to be very busy with my schooling. Which I guess will be nice, it will keep me occupied. But, sometimes I just don't know how to deal with things. I talk to friends & family, but they don't know what I'm going through. My fiance does and I talk to him all the time..
Answers: I recently lost my baby boy on 01-07-08. He was born on 11-07-07, when i was only 24 wks and 3 days along. He held on for 2 months, but his little body just couldn't handle the stress anymore, and he went into kidney failure...which caused his body to fill up with fluid and it was too much pressure on his heart and his heart rate kept dropping despite the efforts of the doctor and nurses...they were doing all they could. So, my fiance & I decided to stop his suffering and took him off of the machines.
I've been trying to move forward in life, but sometimes all I want to do is go back. I'm starting school (college) next monday, so that's a big start for me...I've decided to go into nursing, so I'm going to be very busy with my schooling. Which I guess will be nice, it will keep me occupied. But, sometimes I just don't know how to deal with things. I talk to friends & family, but they don't know what I'm going through. My fiance does and I talk to him all the time..
If you're deeply religious, you can have a bible made that says something like, "In Loving Memory" and has the persons name on it. You could check with your church to see if they offer it.
You could also organize a March of Dimes walk in honor of your son, since he was a preemie, and get people to walk with you or donate money to the cause of more funding for premature babies.
I know it's a hard time, a big shock for you, and it seems hard for you to do, but you're doing great by starting college. You all made the right choice, it doesn't seem that there could have been any other choices you could have made. There wasn't one more thing that you or the doctors and nurses could have done for your son.
Maybe grief counseling would benefit you...sometimes everyone needs to just have a listening ear, and the people attending grief counseling are the ones that are in the same position that you're in and they know what you're going through. You lost a loved one, and grief counseling may be the tool to help you get through it. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but eventually the pain of losing your child won't be so overbearing, and they may be able to shed some light on the subject for you.
There are many ways you can remember your son. Since you'll be going into nursing, you may even want to consider going into the prenatal unit...hospitals are generally understaffed, and another set of hands sure wouldn't hurt, and it may help you in your healing knowing that you're going to try to save other people's babies and take care of them.
Hope this helps...I'm sorry for your loss and don't know the pain, but I hope that you'll find comfort soon. ;)
Well i have not lost a child, but i lost my father two months ago. I was a daddy's girl so it was really hard at first.
It felt unreal.
For you it was only last month that this happened. It is still a new, fresh loss. You feeling this way in only natural, it shows that you loved them. It will be like this for awhile. It is good that you are trying to look forward however and are not constantly thinking about him not being here anymore. I know its hard, and it hurts the heart, but that is grieving and it is healthy. As long as you keep trying to move forward there is nothing else really you can do.
Just try to remind yourself that everything happens for a reason, things good and bad, like this.
Your going to school to be a nurse, is it because of what happened to you and your fiance with your loss. Maybe you will save someone in the future now, maybe you will save someones else, or someone else's child's life and it will be rewarding to you.
Everything happens for a reason
Sorry for you loss. It sounds sad. I know you will recover.