Is it ok for a grown man to cry?!
Question: Earlier this morning something I guess you could say traumatic happened to myself. I ran through the whole range of emotions but the one that stuck so prevelant with me was anger. I was so angry and had no method of venting I ended up breaking down. Unfortunately it was in front of my supervisors, who understood why I would be in the situation I was in. I recently found out that a friend of mine had been shot in Iraq, and though he is ok, it still struck too close for comfort. In the midst of dealing with that, something happened at my job that not only affected me negatively, but also a whole community. I wasnt directly responsible for what happened but it happened on my watch and I was worried that I would lose my job, get a bad rep, and so on. Ultimately things worked out, but I feel I didnt have any other method of venting other than going crazy and possibly hurting someone. I guess my mind took the only way out it could, and I ended up breaking down. Im wondering I guess
Answers: Earlier this morning something I guess you could say traumatic happened to myself. I ran through the whole range of emotions but the one that stuck so prevelant with me was anger. I was so angry and had no method of venting I ended up breaking down. Unfortunately it was in front of my supervisors, who understood why I would be in the situation I was in. I recently found out that a friend of mine had been shot in Iraq, and though he is ok, it still struck too close for comfort. In the midst of dealing with that, something happened at my job that not only affected me negatively, but also a whole community. I wasnt directly responsible for what happened but it happened on my watch and I was worried that I would lose my job, get a bad rep, and so on. Ultimately things worked out, but I feel I didnt have any other method of venting other than going crazy and possibly hurting someone. I guess my mind took the only way out it could, and I ended up breaking down. Im wondering I guess
Real men are tough enough to cry. A man who can't cry, when appropriate, as you did, is not strong enough to admit he has real genuine feelings. A man who represses these feelings is a time bomb waiting to go off. The only shame in your situation would be if you were such a wuss that you hid your feelings and pretended that there was nothing wrong.
Yes
Yes it is, you're human.
there aint nothing wrong with you crying you are human. i been to iraq 3 times and won 6 state boxing championships. youd think im a real bad *** but i'll admit there are things that would make me cry.
Sure its fine to cry, I'm a combat vet, and still of moments that tears roll like rain! I'm not embarrssed by it either!
Never let them see you sweat!
Reach down and grab a pair! If the situation warrants an emotional outpouring, take stuff home and cry until snot bubbles are coming out of your nose. But don't ever do that at work.
By the way, your chance at any type of leadership position is all wrapped up and gone with the used Kleenex.
Damn!
I am sorry to hear of your turmoil. It is actually healthy for men to cry. Our society in the U.S. has made the mistake of making it seem "unmanly" for a man to cry. This put such an increased burden on the physical and mental health of men. Crying is your body's way of exhausting stress and is healthy for MEN and women. Take care, and your co-workers will most definitely understand.
Yes, it's OK. Males are taught that crying in front of others shows weakness, but this only applies in the face of enemies. Anger management is addressed in section 4, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent yourself from making yourself angry, in the first place) is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards, if not, maybe by walking away later, and bellowing your rage. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards. Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. It helps to have someone you can talk to. ~~~ See stress treatments, at ezy build, below on page 42. Practise daily, one of the relaxation techniques on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i; whichever works best for you, but the mindfulness breathing for 15 - 20 mns is ideal, although the progressive muscle relaxation can be learned quickly, and takes only several minutes, if pressed for time. Employ the EFT version for use in public, for which you can reasonably claim that you have a headache, as you massage/tap your temples, but it may be advisable to restrict yourself to subvocalising (saying it to yourself, in your mind, not aloud). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o refer. "Even though I sometimes suffer from stress, I deeply and completely accept myself". You can also multitask, using the gazing technique, as you walk/jog or exercise, by focusing on a distant object, noting any thoughts which flash across your mind, without pursuing any particular train of thought, just gently redirect your focus to the gazing. Yoga, or Tai Chi may suit others, better. For some people, visualisation of a quiet, relaxing scene, like a tropical beach, (feel the sun warming you, as a gentle breeze caresses your skin lightly, inhaling the tangy, salt laden spray from the sparkling, translucent, aqua waves, crashing on the white, sandy beach, as the seagulls swoop and cavort playfully overhead in a cloudless, azure sky; you feel just like one of them; free to soar and cartwheel, or just glide, in the moist, heavy air, and that this moment will last forever.....) works well for them. Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily, replacing 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements, or a teaspoonful of the oil (I spread mine on toast, and mask its strong taste with fishpaste, and pepper), in the winter months only, and eat healthily, in accordance with your "nutritional type" as determined at http://www.mercola.com/ SEARCHBAR. http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea (from supermarket tea aisles) from Celestial Seasonings, or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, lemon, or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk. Xylitol is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes", which later deplete you of energy. Eat in accordance with your "nutritional type" as shown in www.mercola.com SEARCHBAR, and minimise/eliminate consumption of highly processed foods, particularly grain products, such as white bread, donuts, cake, cookies/biscuits, or anything with sugar. Opt for more wholefoods, non-starchy vegetables, and fruit.