Therapy doesn't seem to be helping-- just chatting and awkward silences?!
Question: Is it normal to have several awkward silences when with a psychologist? This doesn't seem to be helping me-- I know it can help a lot of people, but we seem to just not have much to talk about and sort of just talk about my previous week, not really helping anything. I can't even remember the trauma that got me this way very well, so I can't really talk it out. I think the meds I'm taking are going to have to be enough. Any advice/experience?
Answers: Is it normal to have several awkward silences when with a psychologist? This doesn't seem to be helping me-- I know it can help a lot of people, but we seem to just not have much to talk about and sort of just talk about my previous week, not really helping anything. I can't even remember the trauma that got me this way very well, so I can't really talk it out. I think the meds I'm taking are going to have to be enough. Any advice/experience?
Yes, normal. You are not comfortable there. You don't know the psychologist well enough to feel relaxed and safe enough to freely talking about difficult things. You haven't yet learned that you can talk about whatever is on your mind from an internal voice and don't just need to fill up empty space. In short, you need to know your psychologist better to trust and simply be you. I mean, how often do you meet someone and spill your most intimate life experiences within 20 hours of time with them? Of course, I could be wrong about all of this... but, if you give it time, I suspect you'll get something worthwhile out of it. And, yes, it will be one of the more difficult things that you do in your life. The only real important question is whether you have a sense that your therapist is someone you respect and can grow to trust. If so, you're in the right place. If not, shop around. Btw, in my experience, therapy is only marginally about the actual abuse. It's much, much more about how it taught us to be in the world and dealing with that in real time, which is what I see in your post.
Try getting another therapist. some therapist seriously don't know what their doing !
The psychologist lacks the sophistication to fix you. The psychologist isn't trained in psychopharmacology and can only offer opinions. This is really no standard of care in this field. CBT is not helpful to you, therefore you must remain with your psychiatrist and ensure that you are on optimal medication.
I would seriously think of getting another therapist, although maybe a psychologist stays silent sometimes to wait for his patient to talk...I think that may be part of their strategy. But if you are not happy with the one you have, then sure you should change. You could try telling him what you have just told us....see what he says. Good luck.
Have you tried other therapists? Maybe this one is not the right fit for you; all psychologists have different styles. Some encourage exploring the past extensively, while others allow the patient to address what he/she feels like. Try many different ones if you have to, until you find someone you feel comfortable with. In my opinion, it is important to talk about whatever issue is concerning you enough to seek help; medicine only puts a band aid over the problem. Don't give up and good luck!
Sometimes it takes a while to find a therapist that you can click with and who can help you. There shouldn't be any awkward silences because an experienced therapist would have control of the conversation most of the time. Maybe it's time to find another therapist -- at least interview a few and see if you find one you like better. Don't give up on it just because this therapist didn't work out.
I think you really need some treatment. a good psychologist would be good choice . Try another doctor. He will sort your problem out.
Best advice :-
Start practicing YOGA , it really helps.
Actually, I've had an experience similar to yours with a therapist. The prolonged silence on the therapist's part can often increase your anxiety, because if you don't get any feedback regarding your negative thoughts or your stories about your negative experiences, it often leads you to believe that things really are as bad as you think they are. You would probably be better off going to a therapist who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy, because there's more feedback from the therapist and the therapist helps you see things in a more rational, less distorted light.
You've yet to make the connection with your therapist.
The silent spots are times waiting for you to speak what is on your heart and mind, even ask questions.
For a place to start, make a list of your symptoms, take it with you to your next appointment, and from that list ask for ways you can counter your symptoms in a way to help you feel safe.
Consider how your symptoms impact your day, your interactions and your relationships. Talk about these.
Be open and friendly, be yourself, and make sure to do the homework assignments your therapist gives you each week.
Tell your therapist your hesitations. Ask where they see your therapy going -- goals.
Give it about 3 or 4 more weeks, and if you're still not connecting, suggest a different therapist, some people just don't "click" and you might work better with a different personality type..
i been in therapy 2x was kinda helpful i think medication is better just started taking seraquil have not felt this good in yrs
It could be the wrong therapist for you, or it could be that you are not opening up enough. Try another therapist first, and see if you open up better to him or her. A good therapist will ask the right questions, and is really good at getting even the most reluctant people to open up to them. *sm*
Therapist are people too and if you are not connecting with the one you have find another one. I went through three and only really got on with one. She the one i would go to now....if and when i needed too.........Are you seening a councillor or shrink? Meds are a way to get your brain chemicals balanced. If you dont resolve the issue that is bothering you then it wont be long b4 you have to take the meds again. I was on antidepressants for a year,,,,,,trying to get off them was almost as bad as never being on them. You have to ween your self so slowly and you still get side effects.
I am currently treating a mental illness with a combination of meds and cognitive (talk) therapy. Just like medication, it can take a few tries to get a counselor that you like and works well with you. Check your insurance but they should let you switch doctors.
Maybe it's time to seek a different psychologist that you feel more comfortable opening up to and is better suited for your psyche.