This is a long one, but I really need help.?!
Question: I started a new school three years ago. It is a really rough school but it is OK. My parents cant afford a good school but thats not important. However, It started of terribly, the people were really nasty and I got bullied quite alot. My sister, who was two years older, had no problems, she was instantly liked and loved school. So, I wanted to be like that so I started making friends with people in the school. Within a year I had friends, was drinking every weekend, smoking [still am] and ditching school. I got a shock when my sister got her results from her Exams. Lets just say NO college would accept her. Im in my second last year of school now and Im so scared Im going to not become a teacher, something Ive wanted for forever. But I find school so hard now [educationaly]. I dont even know who I really am anymore, from changing. Im afraid Im going to fail my exams next year. Im nearly 18 so Im at the age where I wanna go out. Tonight everyone is. Im getting really depressed.
Answers: I started a new school three years ago. It is a really rough school but it is OK. My parents cant afford a good school but thats not important. However, It started of terribly, the people were really nasty and I got bullied quite alot. My sister, who was two years older, had no problems, she was instantly liked and loved school. So, I wanted to be like that so I started making friends with people in the school. Within a year I had friends, was drinking every weekend, smoking [still am] and ditching school. I got a shock when my sister got her results from her Exams. Lets just say NO college would accept her. Im in my second last year of school now and Im so scared Im going to not become a teacher, something Ive wanted for forever. But I find school so hard now [educationaly]. I dont even know who I really am anymore, from changing. Im afraid Im going to fail my exams next year. Im nearly 18 so Im at the age where I wanna go out. Tonight everyone is. Im getting really depressed.
Don't get frustrated that you don't know who you are. At 18 years old, nobody knows who they are, even those that think they know everything. Your brain is fully developed at age 26, so don't expect to know everything about yourself anytime soon. If your love of teaching is still the same, then you need to find out where you stand with your grades, and do what it takes to make that happen. If you don't want to drink as much as your friends do, then don't. When you're in high school, image is everything, because it's all that you know. But the world changes the day you graduate and all those people you thought were important, you'll completely forget about. I never got into the high school scene and hardly had any friends because everyone thought i was weird for not wanting to party and act stupid like everyone else. Now, when i see those people that would pass me strange looks, they all praise me for having my own mind. And I can choose to party when I want to. A lot of people get so used to partying every single weekend and become addicted to that life style. You're coming up on the roughest time of your life, don't give up. You decide who you are.
stop the alchol and smoking- they are depressants!
That wasn't that long.
Drugs sure help someone "run away", but running away will only make things worse. It's hard to figure out who you are when you're drinking and smoking on the weekends. That's how it started for me. Within a matter of years, I found myself doing it more often. It stunted my emotional growth because I was "running away".
You'll have to stop those kind of things before being able to figure out the rest.
Rise above that nonsense and learn how to study. Who you are will become more obvious over the next decade.
Otherwise, seek guidance from you teachers and counselor. Sure a lot of them don't give a crap about the kids, but just keep asking for guidance.
Now that you see for yourself what alcohol and partying can do to someones life its time to quit... you can still come out of this.. number one .. you are hanging with the wrong crowd of people... get your priorities straight.. work with a tutor.. start studying and start right now by bringing up your grades.. YOU CAN DO IT>>>
I agree with the comment below, stop drinking and smoking, they are clouding your brain. If you can't stop, seek help to stop.
Educationally speaking, your first step is to speak with your guidance counselor. You need to find out where your grades are at now and where they need to be for you to get into college, so you can become a teacher.
Once you figure out where you are NOW, you can figure out where you need help to get where you want to go. You can get a tutor from school. If you have a friend or a classmate that does well in a particular subject, ask for help.
At this point, you just need to refocus. You are still young enough with enough time ahead of you, that you will still be able to hit whatever goal you want to achieve. You might just need to step back a bit and ask for a little help.
Well no one should be commenting this with yelling about the drugs because I'm sure they have all done it. I'm 15 and I hang out wit people from the ages of 10-23 and almost all of them smoke and drink. My neighborhood doesn't help much. you just seem to have fallen out of your normal routine. I don't smoke or drink anymore and my friends respect that now. =] just talk to your friends say to have them all come over to study if they can smoke while there there lol I've done that.
You need to decide what's more important for you. Being popular or your future. You have a lifetime to "go out". The choice you need to make is do you put in the extra effort that's going to be needed in order to get you up to standard to acheive your goals or do you keep bumbling along and partying while your prospects get bleaker.
The only person that can shape your future is you.
You may want to consider not going to college but taking time out from studying instead. Sometimes it helps if people start work when they leave school. It gives them time to mature, find out about themselfs and the world, sow their wild oats and decided what they really want to do. Thee ae many colleges that mature students can attend part time. You sound in alot of termoil. I think you need to take a break, enjoy yourself and sort your head out before persuing further studying.
This is a long answer...I hope it helps.
Stop drinking and smoking. Start thinking about who you want to be and how what you are doing right now will help you or hurt you from getting there. You are in the exact age period where we struggle for our identities. It is a struggle! You have to choose to embrace the struggle and start taking measures to figure out who you are and who you want to be.
Stop caring what your friends think about you and start caring what YOU think about you. Look yourself in the mirror and say, "I CARE ABOUT ME AND I LOVE ME NO MATTER WHAT. I WILL LEARN, ONE STEP AT A TIME, ABOUT WHO I WANT TO BE."
The priority lecture is a complete waste until you learn to love yourself. Accept yourself for who you are and love everything about yourself that makes you unique. Once you know who you are and love every bit of yourself, you'll never need another priority lecture from an adult again!
I know I sound rather corny I understand you may balk at my warm and fuzzy appeal. However, at 17 I would have responded to my own words by saying "gag me with a pitchfork" and would have definately rolled my black, finely-lined eyes while flapping the contents of a half a tube of mascara supported by my thin, tiny eyelashes. The grand finale would include muttering "up yours" under my breath.
This is my epiphany of "I whish I knew then what I know now." It took me having a daughter of my own to realize that I had to figure out who I am so that I could teach her well enough to find out who she is on her own and love herself. I am still working on it. In high school, I doubted myself so severly and I had no idea that I was even supposed to know who I was. I was a total follower. And, only by Providence, my leaders led me well enough to stay out of trouble.
One thing that you will notice as you find out who you are and make changes in your life as you try out different things is opposition. It is not really opposition but it will feel like it. As you discover new things about yourself and express them, others discover these new things about you, too. They may be so inquisitive that they will make you doubt yourself. Remember, you will only care what YOU think and only take council from good, trusting, and caring advice. Such advice is only concerned for your wellfare and your taking or not taking their adive should have no impact on the advice-giver.
Remember that noone is perfect. Don't strive for perfection stop holding yourself to standards that don't even exist. You are old enough to discern for yourself what is good and what is bad. You also know the difference between fun and good. It might be fun for the minute or the night but it is not good for your future.
In high shcool, I new that my grades were not that great. They were scattered equally across the board A's in subjects I like and stayed awake in B's in subjects I liked but required to much studying, C's if I hated it but didn't need to study much and a D a few times because I hated it and forgot how much I feared my mother's wrath.
I talked to my guidance counselor about what my options were and the result was a huge list of extra-curricular activities. For most of them, all I had to do was to show up. It was a great way to expand my friendship circle. I did a lot of volunteering, as well. Volunteering has a way of making you feel better about yourself. You feel good giving and what you receive in return is realizing that other people have problems, too. Just knowing that noone is even close to being perfect helped me to stop holding myself to standards that noone else can achieve either.
God bless you. Jesus loves you and so do I.