Its not always good to be nice?!
Question: people say im a nice guy, of course everyone is not all nice, i can have my off moments but in general im a good person like with good mannerism etc. i would help others aswell. But i have learnt being nice doesnt get you anywhere because when i need friends they drift from me after i have helped them.
I want to change because i dont want to be such a nice person, has anyone changed before from being nice to having a cruel side to you and is it for the better? because then you would not get hurt as much as being such a nice person
Answers: people say im a nice guy, of course everyone is not all nice, i can have my off moments but in general im a good person like with good mannerism etc. i would help others aswell. But i have learnt being nice doesnt get you anywhere because when i need friends they drift from me after i have helped them.
I want to change because i dont want to be such a nice person, has anyone changed before from being nice to having a cruel side to you and is it for the better? because then you would not get hurt as much as being such a nice person
hey its a good question!! you know i myself hav been really nice.. you know all my frnds know me as the guy who is always ready to help, dosnt hurt others feelings etc... well wat i got in return was that everybody liked me.. but i also hav a stutter! u know that indeed pisses people off(even though they might not admit it) .. so i hav had very few friends( but those friends were good and nice like me, at least most of my friends)
well but u know i kinda am getting the feeling tat being nice is not always good! like i am damn nice, generally place a person before myself but i really dont get back the same treatment from others.. maybe tat is even impossible to expect! well maybe all im trying to say is tat if it makes you feel good to be nice to others then definitely be nice but also set your boundaries! learn to say no wen you have to ! we obviously dont hav to worry about hurting others because we need to give importance to ourselves first and not hurting yourself is of first priority!
yes, I know exactly what you are talking about, I havent changed though I still get sh1t on from people even though all I do is help
I wouldn't say that I turned cruel, but I did learn to say no when someone needed a place to "stay" for the weekend, or twenty bucks for the night.
I have the same problem. Instead of trying to turn myself into a cold person, I just choose my friends more wisely. I don't really think it's possible to 'change' yourself like that anyways because deep down, I'm sure being purposely mean will hurt you as well as these other people.
Usually bad events in life and the resulting bitterness will help make you the insensitive person you want to be. Just keep trucking...either things'll get better, or they won't. Hope they do, though. It's a lonely road otherwise...trust me.
Good luck.
i would like to advice you to continue being nice but to know for whom to be nice give the nice thing to someone that deserve and appreciates try to forgive others for bad things or attitude one or twice else don`t abuse the nice side ...
you can still be yourself but must learn to set boundaries.
peoples nature in general whether they realise it or not is to take what they can from a person. your signals will tell them right away if they can abuse you or if you have it together and are switched on to them.
dont be quick to speak or offer something unless you are ready to. it just comes down to self management. we all do it on some level but some have had exposure to this and therefore have skills that others do not (yet).
some people pretend to be nice but are the nastiest around. just be yourself and you will start to see the different kinds of people around. you will learn to discern the genuine and caring ones, and know which ones to trust and know who you need to be guarded with.
Look, it can be tough with no real friends [the kinds who are there when you need them most] around, but why should you change yourself just because of some other people? Sure, don't be too nice, but try to help out even if you know you're never going to be paid back in kind. That's what I think, anyway.
i know exactly how u feel.. i've been there., and i can tell u this: being nice with ppl, don't expect them to be the same to u, it'll help u avoid being shocked in ther behaviour (less expectations, less painful).. i tried to get cruel and treat those ppl in the same way they r, but i ended up feeling totally not myself, so no don't change that. but try to give a clear msg to such ppl that says: i'm nice to u not coze u deserve it, but coze this is who i am and u won't succseed in changing me into something ugly like u.. believe me, this works better than treating them mean.. try it:)
Being overly nice is not good sometimes you're right.
I don't think the other side is what you're looking for either.
Being cruel is not going to make you happy person.
What you're looking for is to be assertive.
Assertive is when you have bounderies and can say no to things you don't want to do.
It's when you take your own feelings into consideration in all the decisions you make in your life.
You may be hurt because some friends left but that happens to everyone. Be assertive and try and make new friends.
Good Luck