My Girlfriend has BPD, broke up with me 8 times and comes back?!
Question: Ive been with my girlfriend for about two years now, she has borderline personality disorder. besides the whole i love you i hate you think, she always breaks up with me for no reason at all. she could be staying over one night, acting like she loves me and everything is fine, and the next want to dump me. only to come back and aplogize a week later and say she realizes it was only her "mood swing". and its happened 8-9 times. it happened again recently and she told me she wanted to take break until she saw a therapist so she wouldnt hurt me anymore, but the next day she ended up hooking up with another guy. and is now mad at me that i found out. i just need advice, should i stay just friends if in the future she wants to cme back to me again? im just so hurt by her lying and leaving me all the time its crazy. please help.
Answers: Ive been with my girlfriend for about two years now, she has borderline personality disorder. besides the whole i love you i hate you think, she always breaks up with me for no reason at all. she could be staying over one night, acting like she loves me and everything is fine, and the next want to dump me. only to come back and aplogize a week later and say she realizes it was only her "mood swing". and its happened 8-9 times. it happened again recently and she told me she wanted to take break until she saw a therapist so she wouldnt hurt me anymore, but the next day she ended up hooking up with another guy. and is now mad at me that i found out. i just need advice, should i stay just friends if in the future she wants to cme back to me again? im just so hurt by her lying and leaving me all the time its crazy. please help.
if you love her, she comes with this illness. on the other hand, your health comes before her's does and if her illness is having a negative effect on YOUR mood, it is a toxic relationship and you have to put your health first. insist she get long term counseling for at least a year and when a year is over, you will check back with her. YOUR HEALTH, YOUR EMOTIONS come before her's. You have the right to have a normal relationship. You don't have to take abuse because she has an "ilness". She is reponsible for her behavior despite having an illness and she is reponsible to take care of her health which includes her illnes. if she isn't going to get medical help for her illness, then she isn't being responsible for her behavior and you are not morally obligated to subject yourself to the abuse. people who love other's don't abuse them simply because they have an "ilness". they do everything they can to get rid of the illness by managing it and getting it under control. she is using her illness as an excuse to abuse you. ABUSE IS NEVER OK. she is still responsible for the impact her illness is having on others and if she chooses not to be, you have no obligation to stick around and take ABUSE. She wants to you take abuse and there is something very unhealthy about that. THAT is not normal and unless you enjoy abuse, you have a RIGHT to draw boundaries and say NO MORE ABUSE. There are a ton of websites about borderline personality disorder and I think online support groups for those who know someone with it. There are books on it too. She is abusive and it is her illness but she is supposed to control her illnes and not let it hurt others. She is being irresponsible. Having an illness is not an excuse to not take care of it. Her illness is not such that she doesn't know the diffrence between right and wrong. Her illness is not such that she can't understand that her illness is hurting you. She is being irresponsible and self centered and as a result your health is suffering. STOP THIS NOW. CONFRONT HER AND TELL YOU ARE DONE FOR AT LEAST ONE YEAR. AND MEAN IT.
Honey, move on. Your heart is worth more than that.
I know it hurts but you have to move on because you dont deserve this, its not fair to you.
Yeah, I'd stay away from her. Don't answer her calls or see her right now. She obviously does need help and until then your going to continue to feel lost and not understand all her emotions. She has too many right now and until she can understand them herself and possibly get on medication, its not healthy for you to put yourself in those situations dealing with her.
I believe that even though you love someone, sometimes, with situations like this, love just is not enough.
Start your healing process. If things work out in the future once she gets some help, great. But until then, try to fill up your time with something other than her.
just be friends so she learns what happens when you dont knkow how to take controll of her action or else shell think she can do this to everybody
I personally believe that there is no reason to not be with someone you love who has a mental illness providing they responsibly manage it. That means therapy, meds if appropriate, and taking responsibility for their actions. It does not sound like you gf has or is apt to in the future. In this case, the MI is no excuse for you to have your heart trampled time and again. Move on.