Where do I even start trying to get my life straightened out, I feel suicidal?!
Question: I'm middle aged and living with my parents once again. My parents have their own problems. They are getting older and in poor health, and my mom has an anxiety disorder.
As for myself, I have some visual and anxiety problems, including social anxiety, which makes it hard for me to make freinds. And I also have a few other health problems that I need to have looked at. I don't have health insurance, though.
I've had no luck in the world of work. Even the fact that I recently earned a degree doesn't seem to be helping me. And I keep putting off paying the massive student loan debt I have because can't seem to get and keep a decent job. I'm currently on unemployment. I feel nervous about even trying to go to work again, although I know I want to and need to. I don't know where to go next in that area.
I'm married. The reason we are living with my parents is because we have so many debts that we were having trouble making ends meet even when I was working. Much less now.
Answers: I'm middle aged and living with my parents once again. My parents have their own problems. They are getting older and in poor health, and my mom has an anxiety disorder.
As for myself, I have some visual and anxiety problems, including social anxiety, which makes it hard for me to make freinds. And I also have a few other health problems that I need to have looked at. I don't have health insurance, though.
I've had no luck in the world of work. Even the fact that I recently earned a degree doesn't seem to be helping me. And I keep putting off paying the massive student loan debt I have because can't seem to get and keep a decent job. I'm currently on unemployment. I feel nervous about even trying to go to work again, although I know I want to and need to. I don't know where to go next in that area.
I'm married. The reason we are living with my parents is because we have so many debts that we were having trouble making ends meet even when I was working. Much less now.
Life is a hard road to travel for most of us. It sounds to me like you have depression whether it be clinical or reactive (to events in your life). See your doctor and talk over your situation. If it's any comfort to you there are millions of people all over our planet that feel exactly the same. I am middle aged and single, have many health problems but have to work through necessity as you have to be practically dead to get any welfare benefits these days. I am still renting and am going through menopause. I feel a failure sometimes but I try to see something positive each day to make life worth living. In the morning when you get up say a little mantra to yourself about what is positive in your life. Don't focus on the negative. You feel nervous about going to work as you have lost your confidence. Go and do some volunteer work for awhile and restore your self-image. Stick to a budget and get rid of those debts. Don't even think about suicide as this is a permanent answer to a temporay problem. Think about all the people you would hurt by doing this. They would be devastated. Best of luck to you!
Don't be suicidal, there are many people who suffered more than you, so just think of yourself as, not the most unlucky person in the world. You're married, you have a degree, you have parents. You're not in a bad situation.
Social Anxiety along with any other anxieties can make you suicidal. I strongly advise you get some sort of medicine for the anxieties. If medicine is not an option, try going for a walk or a jog. Exercise helps a lot more than you'd think. Pick up a hobby (sewing, collecting, playing an instrument). Anything to get you busy. Sitting around and thinking about your problems only cause more problems. Lastly, try just sitting and talking to your parents/husband/friends without mentioning problems. Associating with people when there is no tension is extremely helpful.
I've been through this before and am living proof that it definitely is curable if you set your mind to it. But it's not easy. You have to work.
Just hang in there you will get through this tough time. Just dont eva give up you owe it to yourself. Be strong and belive in yourself. You could speek to a councelor it realy dose help. Just never let yourself give up. X Gud Luck X
hi sweetheart
you are not suicidal
you just do not know how to get through this part of your life very well.
there is a difference you know. and you are allowed to feel like this!
go see your doctor.
explain what you have written and ask for a referral to a nice councillor who will listen to your problems, who will help you put things in perspective, who will give guidance to the solutions for your issues and who will validate that your feelings are normal and not strange or uncommon.
you will get through this!
it is already very very good that you write about it and try to get / make sense of things on this forum.
good luck to you.
SOCIAL ANXIETY: See social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.
Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me".
Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger. ANXIETY: See anxiety treatments, at ezy build (below) in section 6. Set yourself a fixed limit for worrying about any particular subject, (say; 10, or 15 minutes) after which, resolve firmly to refuse to even consider that subject again on that day: realise and accept that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life. Use the technique for reprogramming negative thoughts and internal monologue (self talk), on pages 2, and 2L, to help you in this: some people carry a wide rubber band in their pocket: put it on their wrist; stretch, and release, as a means of reinforcing it, and speeding up the process, re-pocketing it afterwards, but I regard this as being purely optional. Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I sometimes suffer from anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself." ~~~ LOW COST/FREE COUNSELLING: Contact your county/local mental health agency, and find out what help they can offer. Psychological counselling, with a sliding scale, based on income, is available through many religious organisations, such as Catholic counselling, the Methodist church, and the Unitarian Universalists. You don't have to be a member. ~~~ Money is just pieces of paper, plastic, or linen: best left to the bean counters, if you have a roof over your head, clothes to suit the climate, reasonable food, and a safe place to sleep, you are doing alright. Consider volunteering, even from home, at first, as a means of changing your focus from yourself, and ceasing useless introspection. Sections 38, and 47 refer.
Well, it sounds as if you are in a predicament right now..... This probably triggered your depression. I had my depression triggered a few months ago and felt suicidal. I didn't get involved with how I was going to do it or anything, but had many thoughts of just wanting to end it all. Many, many thoughts of that. What happened to me was that my 11 year old daughter over heard me saying this to my husband one morning and she confronted me......ouch, that really hurt.....I had to straighten it out with her and I went straight to the doc and he prescribed me Cymbalta 30mg.....It was a night and day differance. I haven't had those thoughts in 3 months. I have been going to counseling once a week, as well.
I would suggest that since you do not have health insurance, make yourself an appointment with a community free mental health clinic ASAP and get some meds and counseling. You will make it through this. You just finished a degree, go get mentally better, then explore the job market. I am sure you will feel better and that way you will have more confidence to go out there and get a job.
Have your husband get a couple of jobs!!!!! See if you can file bankruptcy and start over. Maybe counseling will also help you make a decision about your marriage. You didn't touch much on the reasons why it is rocky, but that could also be causing you this depression.
Good luck.