My friend killed herself...?!
Question: last week, and even after the funeral and seeing the coffin, i still don't want to believe it's true.
i don't know how to deal with this, i never have been able to deal with this stuff.
does anyone have any advice on how to cope. i suffer from major depression and so far my copin strategies really aren't the best ways to deal with things.
Answers: last week, and even after the funeral and seeing the coffin, i still don't want to believe it's true.
i don't know how to deal with this, i never have been able to deal with this stuff.
does anyone have any advice on how to cope. i suffer from major depression and so far my copin strategies really aren't the best ways to deal with things.
3 years to the day, I lost the woman of my dreams.. She died overseas, and I had no last goodbye...
I found it so difficult....
How do you explain to your friends that for 2 months you weren't able to get off the couch because you were bawling your eyes out and wondering how you would live without the most special thing in your life? How could this thing happen when life was just starting to get good...?
But the answer is, no matter how tough it is, no matter how much you cry, no matter how many songs on the radio remind you of them, no matter how often you turn to see if they are right there behind you, no matter how often you hear their name being called out in a shopping centre or see someone wearing a name tag with the same name... You have to realise, Your life goes on..
And the best thing to do is to live your life the best way YOU can.. and not the way THEY wanted you to live it..
You just need to hang in there and ride the waves that hit you... Sometimes you will feel depressed and lonely, but other times you will remember the good times..
It gradually gets better with time, so just allow yourself to cry, laugh and best of all, remember your friend for all the joy they brought to your life.
Firstly, I'm very sorry your friend died... how horrible for you. It's very difficult to deal with suicide... I know, because I'm still dealing with my ex killing himself too. I don't suffer from major depression as you do, so that must be even tougher for you. Do you have a good friend, a parent, someone that you can lean on for moral support?? Talking about this issue as much as you can to someone is the best advise I can offer you. I also googled up some Support Sites on Suicide and found quite a few out there that offer a lot of on-line support which can be very useful. I wish the best for you....
You need some sort of therapy like bereavement or CBT. Im currently hvaing bereavement counslling and its truly helping me.
Dont worry it will take time hun
Best of luck
My best friend died of breast cancer, but she didn't tell anyone she was sick until it was too late for help. I still miss her, but what I do now, is I think of a memory of her that makes me smile and laugh. I try to remember her alive rather than think of her as dead. I also dreamed about her several times where we just sat and talked. I've always kinda thought maybe she visited me. Anyway, I try to think of the happiest memories. Good luck, it takes time.
Im sorry for your loss. My brother did the same thing early last year. To be honest, it will be something that you will never forget.
The best advice that I can give is to try to focus on the positive impacts that her life had on this world. She was loved, and she obviously did love. Remember and focus on the good that happend between the two of you, and most importantly -- talk about it with someone. Not only will this help you release some of the tragic feelings you are feeling inside, but you are also making sure that your friend is never forgotten. Pass on the memories that you shared.
Best wishes.
Hello Dear,
3 years ago I also lost a very close friend to suicide, so to a degree I understand where you are coming from.
The main thing I can say to you is, to get grief counselling.
For 2 years after my friend's parting, I was very much a lost soul, I was told I had various mental disorders, was put in and out of hospital, and many different specialists. None of this worked; because no-one understood me.
There is nothing anyone can say that will comprehend how you feel, and there is no real way to deal with this.
This may seem useless now, but the main thing is to remember your friend for the beautiful life he/she lived. How much they touched your lives, and how they changed you all for the better.
It will be hard now, but don't remember your friend for the way in which they passed.
Please try to get some counselling; you'll be amazed how much they can help.
I tell this to as many people I can, don't go to psychiatrists... their solution to everything is a fancy cocktail of prescription medication. But a psychologist can really help.
You need spiritual guidance and help.
I wish you the best of luck, and please please, keep your head up and look after yourself.
Take care dear xx.
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a very close family member kill them self. Its been about nine years now. I have suffered from depression myself. First, we never know how to deal with death, so that is normal, second suicide is so different, we question ourselves as to why, didn't they love us? What I have come to understand is they want to get away from the pain they feel. In the last five months, my father died, two days later my grandma, and this month a cousin, and my other grandma within the last two weeks. The funeral is Tuesday. All I can tell you, is take it one moment at a time. Talk about it, go to your doctor, tell them how you feel, ask them what you can do. Pray. There is no time frame, you have to take it as it comes. When you feel like crying do it. Let the person closest to you comfort you. So how we get through it. I know we feel like we won't but we do. Read the book Into the Light. Support system is so important. Don't place the blame on yourself, as to what you could have done. Why didn't i see it coming. Its not you the person was running from, it was them self and their pain.
I do feel for you. 8 years ago a very good family friend also committed suicide, he phoned us just before he did it. Boy what a shock it is to the system, the nicest guy as well. He had marital problems and was very depressed about it. It took us all such a long time to get over it. What he did, we can do nothing about, the feelings of "could we have helped avoid this" etc. also left us feeling so helpless and sad. Eventually you will learn to accept it for what it is and learn to just grieve the loss of your friend, but for now it is going to be a very confussing time. I wish you all the strength and love to cope with this very difficult situation.
Chocolate is supposed to make one feel better. I don't really know what else you can use to help that isn't medically prescribed though.
Wow. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm very sorry. But when one of my friends passed away, writing in a journal helped me a lot. My brother picked up playing guitar when he lost one of his friends. The pain will eventually subside a little. I'm not saying it'll be easy, cause it won't. But you have to keep pressing on. Keep yourself busy and see a therapist. It'll get better.
Hey, you need time. Losing someone suddenly is never easy to deal with. Cry, scream, do whatever you have to do as you mourn your loss. Remember everything you shared with her and never forget her. Give yourself time to heal and lean on your love ones for support. Take care sweetie :)
wo..we have the same name....!..i'm so sorry for your last...andi am the exact same way....i lost my grandma in august and i still don't believe it....it takes a while for reality to kick in..but it will.....some people cope differently....threw silence,crying or withdrawing themselves...you'll be alright in due time