I dont know where to turn?!
Question: I have been suffering with depression now off and on for about 11yrs. I am on medication whihc helps alot as i dont seem to cry as much i did before. But i am unsure on what is actually coursing me to be so depressed. COuld it be my relationship. I have been with him 8yrs he was violent to me around 2yrs ago. Hasnt dont it since. BUT u feel he doesn't trust me no i know he doesnt trust me as he has told me this. He doesnt like me going anywhere without him knowing as he prefers me to stay at home all the time, when he is in work. I love him i really do but lately i am woundering if its relationships that are coursing me to be depressed. I was also in a violent relationship before i was with my previous partner. I feel like i want to shut myself away from the outside world at times. I am fed up of putting on a front to people when asked if i am ok. When inside i am screaming for help but unsure what help i need. I have seen councilours and feel they are not much help. I also have 4 kid
Answers: I have been suffering with depression now off and on for about 11yrs. I am on medication whihc helps alot as i dont seem to cry as much i did before. But i am unsure on what is actually coursing me to be so depressed. COuld it be my relationship. I have been with him 8yrs he was violent to me around 2yrs ago. Hasnt dont it since. BUT u feel he doesn't trust me no i know he doesnt trust me as he has told me this. He doesnt like me going anywhere without him knowing as he prefers me to stay at home all the time, when he is in work. I love him i really do but lately i am woundering if its relationships that are coursing me to be depressed. I was also in a violent relationship before i was with my previous partner. I feel like i want to shut myself away from the outside world at times. I am fed up of putting on a front to people when asked if i am ok. When inside i am screaming for help but unsure what help i need. I have seen councilours and feel they are not much help. I also have 4 kid
I felt so sad when I read your Q depression is something that needs a lot of work to make it better if you had a physical illness you would know that taking tablets is only part of the treatment, depression is the same,first you need to find out what is the cause so you can deal with it, sometimes you need tablets but I have found the most important thing is eating the right foods and getting exercise,poor diet can make you feel worse lack of exercise make you feel sluggish.
You have 4 children,so life is probably not easy but when they go to school (If they are young)
make time for YOU set aside just 30 mins lie on the floor listen to a relaxation tape.go along to the local leisure centre,ask the fitness expert for the right exercise regime for you,you say your man was violent to you 2yrs ago but has never been since was there a reason for him to hurt you why does he not trust you?did you do something? if not then talk to him about how you feel, you must be free to live your life,if you stay at home all day you and your family are missing out.you will then only have time to get more and more depressed.
You can get help from professionals but tell yourself you are important your family is important you all need mum/wife to be well and happy. why not set aside few hrs every w/e to go for walks as a family , have a night in or out with your man get a take away have a shower dress up make yourself feel good one thing for sure if you do not help yourself you will continue to get more and more depressed good luck to you your kids and you man. Finally do not put up with violence ever if it was just that once talk about it don't ever let it happen again but work on getting yourself well I wish you well remember if you are not functioning to your best the whole family is losing out .you can all help each other, do things together and enjoy ecah other, good luck
turn to God for help... God Bless you :D
What is it you aren't getting that you want so bad?
What is it about counselors that dont seem to help you?
Don't you know what you want out of life? Don't you have goals? Dreams? Talents?
Pursue them.
It sounds like to me that he could be a major source of what is stressing you out, and causing some of your problems, but depression is also a chemical imbalance. I sudder drom depression, and some anti-depressans did not work for me, and made me sometimes feel worse. I had to search around for the ones that worked best for me, and your doc can help you do this.
If you are unhappy with this guy, then leave him.
Dump him
Do somethin for you
Ween yourself of medication slowly under doctors supervision
GO GET THE LIFE YOU WANT
the things you think stop you are only in YOUR head
Seriously
TRY IT
Having a mate such as the one you've described, will certainly make your depression worse. I know that from experience myself. Combine that with your past, and you have a real good recipe for "classic depression".... but I think in your case, yours is bordering "severe depression". If counseling does not help, then it's up to you to take your own life/happiness into your own hands. You are going to get worse if you do not... you're husband is controlling every move you make and he knows that it makes your depression even worse. Controlling people are good at finding your weakest points, and using them against you. If you want to save yourself, and find happiness for yourself and your life and your children, then you must leave this relationship... it sounds like pure poison.
My mantra has always been:
"If the person you care about doesn't make you feel good about yourself when you are with them, then they are not worth being around." That goes for any relationship.
You need to start living your life before you turn around and suddenly you're turning 50 and can come up with 10 good reasons why you should have left 'back then'.
Good luck, ignore the idiot answers. :)
kick him out and find someone who appreciates you!!
Wow.. What a load you have there..
All I can suggest without knowing all the details is.. Always try to have a way out. Try to be prepared for the worst without "wishing for it"...
If there is no trust in your relationship, you need to talk to each other and find out where the trust was lost and how you can both rebuild it over time.
Get yourselves into some form of counselling!!!
(It's not as bad as what you think.. ;)
If all else fails, you need to have a strategy to get away and be able to support your family.
But whatever you do, go see a counsellor and ask for some legit advice first..!!!!!!
Sometimes it's easier to fix a relationship than what you might believe..
I hope this helps a little..
Good luck