Stop cutters!!!! how though...?!
Question: my friend cuts and i was wondering (being her friend and all i care and support the fact she wants to quit) what r ideas??? thanx and if u want to educate ur selves about cutting go to: http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind...
Answers: my friend cuts and i was wondering (being her friend and all i care and support the fact she wants to quit) what r ideas??? thanx and if u want to educate ur selves about cutting go to: http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind...
you can't make her stop
just help her
tell her she can call you at 3 in the morning when she's breaking down
tell her she can call you at 4 in the afternoon when she's on top of the world
be there for her,
24/7
if you're going to annother friends house,
give her the number, tell her to call you
and BE THERE
let her see how much you care,
it'll drive her to stop
and encourage her
don't force her
if she relapses,
tell her you're still her friend,
and you're still there
and it'll pass.
don't tell her anything negative
laugh with her
smile with her
get her into a routine,
Friday nights are girls night or something,
let her know you love her and she needs to see what she's doing to herself.
if you need any help or advice, don't hesitate to e-mail me
Ashlyn.Imaginary@yahoo.com
things will get better for her.
and you.
I promise<3
Well you can tell her that it is flat out wrong or have her cut back a little each day cut for 10 min then 5 then 2min then 0 TA DA
Tell her put the knife down and stop! I don't get these cutting people.
I am a cutter and self abuser as well, I went to therapy and discovered that I have ptsd but your friend may have servere depreession issues and needs to seek help asap. I know for a fact that you cannot tell a self abuser to just stop, it does'nt work that way. I hope your friend seeks the help he/she needs and realizes that they are not alone.
To be truthful I cut yesterday, the day before I went to therapy and he said that talking with a consler is the best form.
I started because I wanted people to see that I hurt myself because they somehow or another hurt me and I wanted them to see the harm that I feel they caused to MY body . Make them feel guilty for their wrong doings
To answer your addition, I stared burning to make a statment saying here is my body and yes here is my scar deal with it, I'd lie to people and say something like I acciedently touched the stove or iron, but when there became more I just ignored the questions and did it. As to why, there is no way for me to explain why I do it, angre, hate, frustration selflessness, alot of those go throught me everyday and no I do not contimplate suicide.
A friend of my told me to get a paper cut on my private area and pour lemon juice on it....I do not reccomend you tell that to your friend (just thought I;d throw that in there to lighten the mood)
theres only so much you can do to help, depending on how long shes has been doing it and how badly shes doing it. All i know is that th elonger it goes on the worse it iwll get so the sooner she stops the better. that being said, you should get her to talk to her parents and get herself into therapy. thats the hardest thing to do, but therapy does wonders, i promise! friends and willpower can only do so much, but therapy gets to teh bottom of the cutting, why she developed thoes negative coping skills and how to overcome them. for me: i was in therapy and in and outpatient programs for help. i found that the most effective strategie for myself was to learn everyhting i could about the "disorder" becuase, yes, you might learn that it is very closely linked to anorexia and bulemia, and sometimes even go hand in hand (sometiems girls that cut become anorexic when trying to quit). the most helpful resource taht i found was a book written by the program called SAFE Alternatives, the only inpatient program dedicated to self injury of all kinds. the book is called bodily harm by karen conterio and wendy lader, you can find it at barnes and nobles, and if tehy dont have it they will order it for you at the store. it explained in detail the reasons and different stories, as well as little projects. basically it outlined the program at safe alternatives. they have you do papers, ect. i did them onmy own as i read the book as to get the experience without going, and it really helped me out. i hope that helps.
I found putting red dye into water and making ice cubes out of it helped. Hear me out before u think im cukooo. When I felt like cutting I got an ice cube and put my hand under warm, not boiling, water and when the ice melted it had the same calming effect as seeing blood draining into the sink!!! Or tell her to put elastic band on her arm and when she gets stressed tell her to snap it on her arm and the short sharp pain of that changes the subject in your head fairly fast. I haven't cut for years and I found these little tricks very very helpful. Hope that helps
You can't stop someone from harming themselves. They have to change their habits. You can only provide support, and offer alternatives that may help.
From personal experience, when someone told me to stop cutting I got worse. I felt more pressure, and since I had no other coping mechanism (which cutting is) I cut more. Forcing them to stop by saying "I'm not going to be your friend" or "You're weird for cutting" or "Just stop cutting, it's stupid" doesn't help. You will not only make them potentially harm more often, but you will ruin your relationship with them - and they will no longer come to you for support or advice.
Why did I start cutting? It was when I wanted to die - I mean, not just "escape the pain" or "cry for help", I seriously wanted to die. I was a uneducated in doing so, and (obviously) failed. But I found relief, all my tensions and emotions were better. Emotional pain was too difficult to deal with so I chose physical pain. I could take care of my external wounds, mend them up, make them heal, something I couldn't do internally. I used to to numb out my emotions as well as to make me feel emotions. For example, when I would feel severely depressed/suicidal I didn't want to deal with that and I would cut to numb myself. When I was feeling dead inside, I was far from being happy, but I couldn't be sad either. I would cut so I could feel something. If not emotionally, phsyically.
Cutting is an addiction. Not on psychologically, but physically. When and individual harms his/herself, there is a release of chemicals in the brain called endorphins, they are "the feel good chemicals". They produce a "high". This is why cutting is so difficult to overcome.
Also, cutting is (mentioned before) a coping mechanism. A negative one at that. If there are no other coping mechanisms available to the individual then there will be no recovery from cutting. I found positive coping mechanisms in writing poetry, drawing, and reading. Also, journaling my feelings has helped alot. Sometimes though, all my positive coping mechanisms don't work and I do relapse into my self-harming behaviors. Which is okay. It happens alot, and to many people.
I really hope that your friend is okay, remeber you can't "cure" her, you can only support her.
My heart goes out to both you an your friend,
Cydney
xx
Again, you can't really make someone quit. If she wants to quit, though, you can help by being there for her to talk to. It really helps just to have someone there. A lot of us started somewhat by accident - you're really stressed out and mad and not thinking, and there's something sharp there, and somehow you end up cutting yourself and it calms you down. Or you're stressed and accidentally hurt yourself, and it helps.