How do i move on.?!
Question: Last year i lost someone who was very close to me. My bestfriend, the only one i looked up to, my grandfather. He had a stroke two years prior to his death. He lost all feeling in his left side so he couldn't move at all. Being the strongest in my family i was the only one who could really take care of him. We got so close during those two years and before i could blink he was gone. I dont think i will ever be the same. My family and friends say i have a totally different attitude now and that i harbor so much hatred and have no outlook in life. My girlfriend told me that since i lost him i have been so mean to her and i have never been like that, i'm the nicest guy you could ever meet. I guess i never really noticed until recently when they told me. It just depresses me more to think that i am in so much pain that i am causing the ones i love around me pain aswell. So i guess what im asking is what should i do. Or is there anything that can be done for me?
Answers: Last year i lost someone who was very close to me. My bestfriend, the only one i looked up to, my grandfather. He had a stroke two years prior to his death. He lost all feeling in his left side so he couldn't move at all. Being the strongest in my family i was the only one who could really take care of him. We got so close during those two years and before i could blink he was gone. I dont think i will ever be the same. My family and friends say i have a totally different attitude now and that i harbor so much hatred and have no outlook in life. My girlfriend told me that since i lost him i have been so mean to her and i have never been like that, i'm the nicest guy you could ever meet. I guess i never really noticed until recently when they told me. It just depresses me more to think that i am in so much pain that i am causing the ones i love around me pain aswell. So i guess what im asking is what should i do. Or is there anything that can be done for me?
Two ideas come to mind, but you have to be open to them....
first, you may have actually hit this point in your life at a time when you may have been prone to a serious depression...not just a sad mood, but a deeper morose feeling that lingers for a long time. That is something that needs to be treated by a doctor, like the difference between a cold and the flu....you have the emotional version of the flu.....and medication can get you through it. Not "happy pills' but meds that will help you get back to feeling healthy and "normal" so you can grieve successfully.
Second, grief can be very hard. You may want to consider calling your local Hospice chapter and speaking to someone for a couple of visits. They understand how hard a death can be. Our culture is not good at grief, since we rush and try to get over it so fast...but it can be a long process and if shared with someone who can appreciate that process, like a counselor, then you can move on and back towards appreciating your life again.
grief counselling sounds right
I am very sorry for your loss, and would like to give you some advice. Try remembering the good times you had with your grandfather, when you are feeling sad or depressed. You still have your memories and no one can take that away from you, but try to include the people who care about you in those memories. Talk to your girlfriend about them. Mabey take her to special places you and your grandfather would go. Try eating his favourite foods, or watching a favourite movie or show. You will be able to laugh and cry, both are good for the soul. As time passes you will never forget but it will get easier. Remembering someone special can make us stronger and grow stronger for life. That is what you grandfather would have wanted. He would want you to be happy and healthy and live life to the fullest. He's watching you every minute of every day and will always be with you.
I wish you all the best. Keep Smiling!!!!!!!
I work at a therapists office and I would defiantly recommend you making an appointment with a local therapist to not only talk about your grief but your anger issues too.