How many AA meetings is enough?!
Question: I am 7 years sober and attend on average 3 meetings per week. I got involved in a group earlier (for 5 years) who stipulated meetings every night. I am finding it so hard to drop back and feel guilty for not doing meetings every night. I have observed others in AA around the 5+years mark and they seem to do about 3. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
Answers: I am 7 years sober and attend on average 3 meetings per week. I got involved in a group earlier (for 5 years) who stipulated meetings every night. I am finding it so hard to drop back and feel guilty for not doing meetings every night. I have observed others in AA around the 5+years mark and they seem to do about 3. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
There is no rule to how many meeting you have to attend. There are no rules to AA. You will know how many you need based on how you feel- e.g. if you want to drink when you are attending less meeting, etc. I go to 2 a week and I manage to do just fine. I also work 32 hrs a week though and attend college classes full time.
you should go to 90 meetings in 90 days at first then 3 or so a week once you hit the 5 year mark you should go once a week and try to attend activities such as bingo(my mother still goes to bingo tuesdays at the recovery center she was at)
you should be fine...however I would get together with some friends that hate drinking.
You should at least go once a week. I think that's the standard for people who have been sober as long as you have. But you know what you need, so if you need more than once a week to stay sober, you should go more than once a week.
I have never been to AA meetings so my advice might not be the best but I wanted to say most people go to AA because it helps keep them sober. If you are at the point where you will comfortable in your life where you don't need to go to meetings everyday to help keep you sober or to keep your mind off drinking then you should be able to cut back. You should still go but not as much. As long as you can trust yourself and know you are not going to relapse then I don't see what the problem is. Why do you feel guilty? Do you feel like you are letting people down if you don't go to meetings? You have to think what exactly it is that makes you feel bad? Do others in the meetings depend on you to help with their sobriety? Is there some co dependency there? I don't know. If I were you I would just talk to others in the meetins and see what they say. Good luck!
The point of getting sober isn't to go to AA every day of your life....the point is to get a life worth living....step down a one meeting a week for the time being....keep up your other work, some 10 and 11 everyday, and see how you feel....then after a month of so, knock out another one....
Do enough to feel a little scared (one hallmark of growth) as far as cutting down....but dont cut enough out to compromise your spiritual condition
It depends. Do you need the meetings to stay sober of do you need the meetings as it is giving you something to do?
If you have been sober 7 years, that is YOUR doing, not AA's. AA is great for people that need it, but I don't think you should be bound to it for life. I'd cut back to once a week, then once every 2, then once a month, then just go once in a while whenever you feel you may be slipping. Good luck.
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Hi Wendy,
First of all, congratulations on your 7 years sobriety, I will be sixteen months tomorrow.
My fiance caz was 6 months sober last week and we go together to AA meetings 3 times a week, we go to an NA meeting also on Saturday mornings, although neither of us have used drugs, it's held in a cafe in Luton town centre and a lot of my friends who went to a local re-hab centre use it, it's a very powerful meeting.
I have never heard of a group that stipulates a meeting every night, only in the first 90 days of sobriety, so I don't think you should feel guilty at all about dropping back to about three.
Most of my friends in AA go to an average of about three, but the answer is simple, especially after seven years, go to the number that you find comfortable with, I wouldn't feel comfortable myself with less than three.
When I first came out of re-hab I went every night because, as a widower, I found the meetings very sociable events appart from keeping me sober, in fact I met Caz at a local meeting last March and we are to be married in July.
You are welcome to Email me if you want to chat, as an AA sponsor, I have often made this a welcome call to anone who wants to talk about alcohol.
As I said earlier, I am a widower, my late wife died an alcoholic just over three years ago at the age of 50, what a waste of a precious life.
a Massive well done and congratulations on your 7 years dry, watch out for the 7 year itch LOL. i am 5 years dry and i don't attend any meetings, i did during the first year but soon found that i was becoming addicted to them almost as much as i was to the alcohol. AA meetings are fine for those who need them, if you can manage without them then do so, they can become a crutch that you depend on, after 7 years i am sure that you can manage without the crutch, however, always know that they are there if you need them. take care and good luck.
You might want to talk with your sponsor. From the outside looking in as the adult child and wife of recovering alcoholics, I've seen my alcoholics meeting frequencies change with what is happening in their lives. Stressful times lead them to go to more meetings and when things are on an even keel, they'll cut back to 2-3 meetings a week, sometimes less.
I guess you have to look at what's going on in your life and maybe reassess your inventory. Your "enough" might not be some one else's. Good luck.
AA has been called a cult by many, one of its cult-like characteristics is that you are never supposed to leave.
I got sober in order to have a life worth living, to me, that doesn't include spending so much of that life hiding in church basements repeating the same tired stories, talking about problems from years ago that I have apparently solved. That's living in the past and the past wasn't all that pleasant.
The people who do that are stuck. They refuse to move on because they are scared, outside of the rooms, people aren't judged solely on how long they've been sober. Look at the oldtimers in the rooms, do they really look happy or serene? I think they're sullen and angry because no that they have outlasted the other oldtimers, they've realized that being an oldtimer is a crock, but they have so much time invested they feel they can't back out now.
Get a life. Be happy. Don't look back.
The escape plan:
http://www.aadeprogramming.org/reclaim/e...
At seven years, one could expect you to be the one answering this question, not the one asking it. I'm sure you didn't go into this deal all those years ago to arrive at this level of uncertainty now. Healthy groups don't "stipulate" anything. If you want the real deal, check out aadeprogramming like someone else mentioned, as well as http://www.morerevealed.com
and http://www.orange-papers.org
Good luck to you.
Well done you! I've been sober now for 2yr and have never been to an AA meeting. I did a home detox and had some intense counselling along with loads of support from friends & family. Keep busy,meet with friends not involved with AA - i'm sure they would offer support if you feel yourself heading for a blip! Don't let AA make you feel guilty for not attending the meets - go if you need to - they don't need you.
I am very anti AA, however I will try to answer in a way as to help you. Okay my deal was I had about 5 months sober and was making 9 meetings a week the 6:00pm every day then the 6:00 and 8:00 pm Wednsday and then Saturday the noon meeting and the 6:00pm meeting, but I was being told I needed to make even more.
I had a very controlling sponsor and the group as a whole was very controlling. I really like AA at that time and wanted to stay, but was finally ran off by by sponsor, but because I drank because I did not in fact he kept telling me he was confused because I was the easiest sponsee he ever had and stayed sober wothout his help. But he ran me off because I could not be controlled. Many told me to just fire him and keep goping and make however many meetings I wanted, which I wanted to make 9 but not more.
So I will give you the same advise. Go to as many as you feel you want to. If you want to go to one a week then go one, if three then thre, but if you want to go every night go every night, but just do not let anyone else tell you how many. It is your decision.
Wow, I can't believe I answered an AA question without being critical of the program. I do agree with Ray, AA is a cult . But if you like it and want to go, then I am all for you.
BB
i think iam nealry 10 years but i hate goign to meets and do it 2 times a week.i wonder all the time if it does me any good, i see more dishonest characters and breakign anonynimity all the time going,.,.i stay awayfrom gurus and god freaks, i wear aa lightly ,.but mainly my role seems to have evolved to help new comers which i enjoy,.i cannot bear long chairing over 10 minutes,.i think aa got to move to just drinkign problems rather than drug or depression probs,.the big book is not for curing manic depression..i go as i fear ever slipping,.mike