IS THIS MENTAL ABUSE?!?! Please help ;/?!


Question: I have been in my relationship for 9 months. I'm very confused as to what to do. I have to deal with constant arguing, I'm always to blame. ALWAYS. My girlfriend dictates to me and if I don't do what she asks then she threatens to leave, she attempts to cut me off from friends she gets angry if I want to go out. She's always accusing me of things, and insists on having my password to my AIM she watches my Myspace. She has lied so much to me, she's even told me that she got raped and became pregnant just so she didn't have to talk to me. She's told me recently that I'm the worst person she's been with, that hurt. She even lies to her mother, saying that I'm "flirting & cheating", allowing her mother to think that I'm a "whore" & lies about other things making me out to be "bad to her". I've never cheated. When something bothers me i try to talk to her, she dismisses me and says I'm trying to fight. She lives out of town & I've sent her 1/2 the money she needs to come. I regret sendin it


Answers: I have been in my relationship for 9 months. I'm very confused as to what to do. I have to deal with constant arguing, I'm always to blame. ALWAYS. My girlfriend dictates to me and if I don't do what she asks then she threatens to leave, she attempts to cut me off from friends she gets angry if I want to go out. She's always accusing me of things, and insists on having my password to my AIM she watches my Myspace. She has lied so much to me, she's even told me that she got raped and became pregnant just so she didn't have to talk to me. She's told me recently that I'm the worst person she's been with, that hurt. She even lies to her mother, saying that I'm "flirting & cheating", allowing her mother to think that I'm a "whore" & lies about other things making me out to be "bad to her". I've never cheated. When something bothers me i try to talk to her, she dismisses me and says I'm trying to fight. She lives out of town & I've sent her 1/2 the money she needs to come. I regret sendin it

One thing: Love should feel Good!
You do not sound like you feel good about yourself. Love and caring nutures your partner and lifts them up, not tears them down and breaks them apart.
She sounds like she has serious issues. She obviously very controlling and dominating; but you are allowing it to transpire.
Go with your gut feeling. You said you wanted out. Then get out. No arguement, simply I'm done with being verbally and emotionally abused. It's obvious I can't make you happy and you can't make me happy either. So the best thing is to part and go our separate ways.

From the sound of it, she will probably freak out. Let her freak and cry (if she does), and walk away. For your self esteem for your life, she is unhealthy for you.
I've been there done that and as much as you feel for the person, the longer it continues the more miserable you feel and truly want out but are afraid to leave.
You need to muster up the strength and stand up to yourself without being emotional (that's what she wants). Just say no more. Cut her off completely!!! Otherwise you'll be sucked back in again! Trust me girl. I know how hard it is, but you need someone who will treat you with respect and make you feel good about yourself..not the other way around!
goodluck! much luv

there was a comment made about "you must like the abuse" and "any normal person would have..." apparently, they have never been in an abusive relationship. It wears you down to almost nothing. You are very normal and you do not like the abuse that's why you are confused because you still care. But you have to come first girl. YOU! change your number don't accept emails or any correspondence, stay away!!! IT hurts, but you'll feel better as time goes on and will know you have made the right decision. She is going to try and manipulate you for a long time and probably harass you. If it gets to this stage call the cops. I mean it. She sounds a bit off her rocker.
please be good to yourself and stay safe.

You poor baby. Call the cops immediately you're being abused. I would suggest suing for at least 10 million for mental damages.

Erm... girlfriend? You're a girl right?

Dump her. Go find a real man

DUMB HER!
SHE IS A USER AND HAS SERIOUS CONTROL ISSUES.
CHANGE YOUR PHONE AND ADDRESS IF POSSIBLE, BUT MOVE ON!

that is definitely

Get rid of her now before it is too late. You can do so much better, why are you allowing this?

leave her she is not good to you, she is mean. dont put up with her one minute more. Forget the money you sent, its gone, your self respect isnt, leave before it is.

she treats you like a doormat and you still care about her?

try caring more about yourself!

This is definantally abuse. Your girlfriend is a control freak. GET AWAY FROM HER. She will manipulate you until there is nothing left then she will leave you and move on to someone else.

Okay, you've been going through all this **** and you havent ditched the ***** yet?

Okay, you either sunconsiously like abusive relationships for some reason, or you still love them, even though a normal person would have ditched them. If our positions were reversed i would have snapped and broke her **** a long time ago.

If its the first one, get help, if its the second one, stop being stupid, and ditch them.

And yes, it is mental abuse, in the sense that standing in traffic and getting hit is being victim for vecular man slaugher, get out of the way of that bus.

she's controling you by manipulating you and playing with your emotions.

The only power she has over you is the power you give her. Usually, in these cases, their ace in the hole is the "I'll leave you" line ("do this or I'll leave you" "be this way or I'll leave you" "approve of this or I'll leave you").
Once you trump this play, you will strip her of her power and the truth will be exposed. But she will do her best to keep the truth covered, and she will play it out as long as she can.
You may feel like you may be in an emotional prison, but what you may not know or realize is that YOU have the key. She knows this, though!!!
Show her that you know that you possess that key, and you have the strength to walk away from the relationship whenever YOU want, like I said, the truth will come out....you will see the real her.....she may be a psycho, she may be fragile emotionally, she may not actually care about you, she may not be able to go on without you.
But you don't know what the truth is until you expose it.

"Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." Erica Jong...

"Remember: you are the only person who thinks in your mind! You are the power and authority in your world."
Louise Hay....

take care...

that is definantly mental abuse! my ex would verbally abuse and manipulate me too, you dont need that and you dont need her! get rid of her before she gets rid of you!

yep, definitely abuse. and a sick case of codependency, I'd bet. don't send her any more money. don't answer the phone when she calls. don't listen to her messages. just delete them. put up your wall there, and don't peek over the top of it, though the temptation to do so will be there. I would get your number changed to a NON-PUBLISHED number, which means that even anyone calling directory assistance can't get it. she sounds like maybe a femme fatale from hell. there's no real good way to end it, except to shut her off. you deserve better, and better will happen to and for you. look out for other dangerous possessive b****es and have nothing to do with them, either. immerse yourself with good things and good people. go places that broad and her posse wouldn't think to look for you, and check out your local safehouse for abused women. they usually have group sessions of and for other women who have been abused, it doesn't matter by which sex. abuse is abuse, and you can stop the cycle.

Your girlfriend is extremely insecure to the end that she has to manipulte you to make her feel good about herself. I'd guess her insecurities stem from her emotional problems in dealing with who she is or her lifestyle choices. I've had many lesbian friends and there always seems to be an insecure partner in the relationship. A generalization, I know, but it does hold true in many such realationships. Maybe you should try the other side of the BI equation for awhile, this girl is poison.





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories