Does any one care?!
Question: i have recently been diagnosed with depression, and ive only told my boyfriend and my mum, and they didnt ask me how i felt about it? im not an emotionally open person but i told them because i thought they would understand and want to talk about it with me.
shud they be bothered? am i expecting too much? i feel they think that im just going to get over this with anti depressants, but now i realise i have depression i know i have been suffering for many years. i dont kno who to turn to because i am confused.
Answers: i have recently been diagnosed with depression, and ive only told my boyfriend and my mum, and they didnt ask me how i felt about it? im not an emotionally open person but i told them because i thought they would understand and want to talk about it with me.
shud they be bothered? am i expecting too much? i feel they think that im just going to get over this with anti depressants, but now i realise i have depression i know i have been suffering for many years. i dont kno who to turn to because i am confused.
You have a totally natural reaction and so do your family.
Neither are in the wrong. This is a really big thing to deal with. Your family have no clue how to be with you and they are sure to want to help but probably have no idea how to as you can't really know what you want from them.
I was diagnosed with bpolar last year after suffering with depression all my life and my partner and family didn't know what to do but be there for me. They gave me the time I needed to get back up, they didn't rush me and they very rarely discussed it.
By being there though with the little things they helped, I was withdrawn alot of the time and emotional the next, noone including me never knew what was going to come next, but with time it gets better. Always remember depression affects everyone not just the sufferer, so the only thing to do is work together and talk.
There are some sites that can help you and your family understand more about depression and your doctor can advise you on groups or people to talk to for support for the whole family.
I hope this helps and if you need to talk i really do understand xxx
they should definately care! but I think it's very likely that they just don't know what to say to you...if you're not a very open person then maybe they were unaware how bad you've been feeling..? Keep going! you never know what's going to happen tomorrow, the future's bright even if you can't see it :)
don't expect them to have the answers, or to say the right things. they're only human. and they haven't been trained in how to handle this. talk to a psychiatrist. they have real advice, and can help. don't be afraid to get help for your problems.
Maybe they don't know how to respond? Did you tell them why it is you're feeling depressed?
If you share some of the problems you're going through in more depth perhaps they will feel more able to support you.
xxx
yes
Well they are probably finding it difficult to accept...especially your boyfriend, he may feel responsible for not making you happy.
it's ok they didn't ask, it doesn't mean they don't care...what would you say if someone told you about it?
don't worry, they are just worried about you Hun.
hope you feel better soon x
i'm sure your family and boyfriend care..it might be that they don't know how to take it? don't know the words to say..maybe come right out to them and tell them that you want to talk about it..don't just tell them that you've been diagnosed with it and expect them to want to come right up and bombard you with questions or something you know? they might not want to say something wrong that might offend/make the problem worse..if that makes sense? hope you feel better soon though <3
They are probably waiting for you to start the discussion. I know that's what I'd do with a friend. I would figure that if she wanted to discuss it, she'd bring it up. They are probably afraid to push you into talking about it if you're uncomfortable.
Hey, just sit down with one of them and tell them that you want to talk about it. At least, though, it sounds like you need SOMEONE to talk to. The prescribing doctor didn't refer you to a therapist? Maybe you'll have to ask. You have to help yourself, Sweetie, and not expect others to know what you're thinking and what kind of help you need. Seek out help and start the conversation.
Good luck!
I think maybe your mum and boyfriend know that you are not open about how you feel, and so felt it was better to wait until you were ready to talk to them. They do care, believe me. I would just let them know that you are ready to talk to them, maybe give them some leaflets about it (if you have any). Has the doctor referred you for any kind of counselling or therapy? Just giving you anti-depressants isn't the whole answer. :)
If you want, you can email me.
it is quite unfortunate that your opening up to your bf and mum was met with indifference. that may not necessarily mean however, that they don't care. it's possible that they are uncomfortable with it and unsure of how to help you.
it's a good thing that you seem to have seeked out some kind of professional help since you mentioned that you have been diagnosed and is now taking medication for it. in addition to that, perhaps therapy can be of help. your opening up to 2 people would suggest a desire to have someone to talk to and a good therapist will be able to provide you with the proper atmosphere as well as guidance towards finding a cure or solution.
You can definitely expect them to care. People don't always realise though that depression is an illness not a mood you'll be over tomorrow, so do give them some time. Also try to find some easy understandable materials on the web or in the library and make them available to them. Just say 'I thought you might have some questions', but don't push them. Hopefully that will make them see how difficult depression is and that you need their support.
Anti-depressants will help you to get to a state where you can work on overcoming this dark state you're in but they are not a longtime solution! Make sure to find someone to talk to. Maybe a different friend, councillor, psychologist or someone from the church or a social group. If you don't have access to any of the above and you're mum does not offer her help to you by herself, tell her straight that you need her - this is just as inconvenient for you as it is for her. Maybe you really just need to open their eyes and you will be surprise how their empathy comes flooding in.
Also, it could help to tell them not to walk on egg shells around you but to treat you normal. This way they will take you more serious and not think you just want the attention or be belittled.
All my best. I'm sure you will get through this!!! Knowing you're not 'just down' or imagining your unhappiness is a good start. :)
They do and will care, but wont understand how to respond, they dont know if you want them to be caring and gentle, or to be dismissive and treat it as just one of those things.
People are very bad at dealing with things like this. We all need to learn to accept that depression and fear ins natural and that those who feel it need that extra love from us all
I feel very sorry when I hear of anyone suffering with depression!!The trouble really is 'No one really cares unless they have experienced the illness them selves!!They say 'time is a big healer!!Get well soon!!
Some folk get freaked oot when ye mention depression. It's jist because they urrnae sure how tae act when they urr in yer company. You should get all the help that the medical buffs urr offerin'. It will gie ye big dividends in the long term. If yer close friends cannae handle it, let them take a wee step back until ye urr feelin' better. If they urr true friends, they will be happy tae gie ye a wee bit o' space until ye huv got things under control. Guid luck- I know frae experience that it can be a lonely road tae travel!!!
Like alot of people they don't know what to say and often people say the wrong thing so your mum and boyfriend thought better say nothing instead of the wrong thing and make it worse.
depression is natural with the human race......there are about 1000 PLUS things that surround you that get you depressed! dont sweat it if no one talks about it....s**t me being depressed, i dont talk to no one!
Hi Jennie,
I'm also taking anti-depressants, and you're right people don't seem to know how to react to it. I think in this so- called enlightened age, depression still seems to carry a certain amount of stigma.
My parents didn't seem to know how to react when I told them, but eventually they just got used to it.
Take care.
Joe
Don't be ashamed about depression, just about everybody has it at some point. If anything it indicates that you're normal!
The only people that make it through life without this affliction are the smiling dumbos.
Without being too poncey, just about every philosopher that you care to read is, to say the least, melancholic eg Shopenhauer thought that tragedy was the highest form of art and furthermore, of the entire universe he felt that it would have been better if it had never been!
Take your tablets to get over this immeadiate crisis but then think about changing your life. Diet, do sport, persue hobbies, do classes, stop doing the things that you hate and start doing things that you like, stop being everybody elses doormat and you start this by NOT volunteering to help everybody that needs assistence, wait for them to ask and half the time say, no I'm too busy. Start thinking about yourself more and start thinking less about the needs of others be less "other directed". This does not mean being a tw at, it's just a matter of proportion. Vey few will even notice the change, the people that you formerly jumped to help will get by, doubtless you will still help the desperately needy, the only people that will notice will be the lazy parasites, these people you shouldn't have been helping in the first place and it's these sorts of people that are responsible for your depression in the first place, the ones that simply take, take, take and never give.
You'll be fine in no time. Remember excercise is better that tablets.
Yes they must care, but please do not take anti-depressants because once ur on them ur hooked for life.
x