Does being close to death make you appreciate life more?!
Question: Have you had any experience with death & dying? I recently lost someone & although I felt honored that she wanted me there to assist her with passing, I felt like it did a lot of damage to me personally. I thought that being so close to death would make a person appreciate their life more & live every day to the fullest, but for me it was the opposite. I can't seem to pull myself out of this funk & I'm constantly scared now for myself & the people I love. Did you feel enlightened at all with your experience or was it just confusing?
I thought that people who did this for a living (assisting people to pass - hospice) would have to be really special but the hospice nurse that came was an unfeeling witch & I wonder now if that's the personality you need to be able to deal with this.
Answers: Have you had any experience with death & dying? I recently lost someone & although I felt honored that she wanted me there to assist her with passing, I felt like it did a lot of damage to me personally. I thought that being so close to death would make a person appreciate their life more & live every day to the fullest, but for me it was the opposite. I can't seem to pull myself out of this funk & I'm constantly scared now for myself & the people I love. Did you feel enlightened at all with your experience or was it just confusing?
I thought that people who did this for a living (assisting people to pass - hospice) would have to be really special but the hospice nurse that came was an unfeeling witch & I wonder now if that's the personality you need to be able to deal with this.
I'd had the ulcer for so many years that eventually I would have this surgery, however I was in as an emergency with my hemoglobin down to 6.3 the morning after I checked in (at 8.4 the night before). The doctor told me no surgeon would take me on because the survival rate was too small. A person is anemic when it is below 11; the heart is extremely likely to stop when it is at 5.
The ulcer was painful and I'd been through 2 separate times of having IV's of iron dextran. These 2ce a week IVs were very hard on my body. In the hospital when it was an emergency they gave me blood transfusion. I said it must have been young stud blood because I had more energy than ever before. This was done so that I would build up enough strength so a surgeon would work on me. It was touch and go, though, and I did see the light.
I've been through the tunnel of faces and into the light in a near death experience (NDE) before, and it was so incredible peaceful and filled with love that I would have done anything to go back.
But when I held my daughter as I lay there dying I told her everything would be okay. If I lived or died, it would be okay for me. I appreciate life. I truly understand your confusion. I wanted to go into that light so much, but I am more aware of the people who are here and the pain of loss they would feel.
If you want to talk more about your NDE, let me know. Don't be afraid. The hospice people deal with people dying and that is there only prognosis. They become jaded because it hurts too much to lose every patient you care about.
I was able to help my brothers-in-law before each of their deaths. I have an unyielding faith in what happens on the other side, and I know without a doubt that the joy is encompassing. Friends and family will meet you -- you will see them as you remember them, though they are spirits.
Please don't be afraid. All of the goodness that you are goes with you, all of the love you have, you still have, all of your negative feelings are left behind.
Just before each of my BILs deaths, they wanted me to tell them my beliefs again. Perhaps they knew. Keep holding on to the light, it is not to be feared.
For some people yes
but for others no
For people who were near the person may become more appreciative of death or they became a emo because they lost one of their family members or friends
people can take the death of someone in many different ways
sometimes it can be very scary and depressing once you think about everyone you know and love eventually dying but death is a part of life if nothing died then the world would be over crowded and unhabitable
atleast now they are in a better place away from violence and hatred :)
I think the people that work with hospice people become hardened, or they are that way to begin with, or it is just a paycheck.
Most likely you made the person's day that passed. Focus on the positives, and stray from he negatives. I think that death makes us realize how volatile life really is, and that is why you have the feelings you have. Death comes with sadness, anger, and hurt. My father recently passed, and I tried to find the positive and I couldn't. Even though he was in suffering in pain; I could not turn it into a good thing. You are having a natural reaction to death, and as time goes by you will feel better,
The one thing death taught me; is not live life each day tot he fullest, but spend as much time with those you love. Do not worry about what is materialistic because it has no feelings, and in the long run it won't love you.
Well i guess it depends on the person..But i work in a nursing home and I'm around death all the time..I find it to be a blessing when someone goes.I know it sounds awful but hear me out..The reason for that is they no longer have to be in the pain and misery they were in..It's a peaceful experience..But just because they passed away doesn't mean that they aren't around you..You will always have them in your heart. My husband worked for hospice and there are some people that have a really bad attitude..But i think it's just the way some people are...I hope you get out of this funk you are in and god bless you and I'm sorry to hear about you loss..
well over the summer i almost died. i didnt appreciate life anymore, im the same. for a few days i never came home bc i stayed out and partied and ****, but it ended quick.
sorry about your loss though.
My mother was violently murdered. It made me wish I wasn't living. My mother in law died from an aneurysm and she lived such a great life that got stopped short, it made me appreciate being alive. When I gave birth to my second child, my blood pressure bottomed out and I passed out. The feeling of the world disappearing is the closest I've come to death and when I woke up I was glad I was alive.
Everyone has such different experiences with death. I don't think there is a wrong way to grieve, unless you hurt yourself or someone else. Personally we each have to deal with our mortality and that can lead us through a rainbow of emotions.
The unfeeling witch shouldn't be in hospice in my opinion but maybe that's how she has to act to deal with death constantly.
I felt confused, enlightened, confused and enlightened again.
That's okay.
Yes, It did for me. I was suppose to die in 1993 from heart disease, but the modern doctors gave me a second chance at life. I was 46 and still had four children in school, a wife and half of my life yet to live. Of course I was happy and with all the love around kept me going.
My wife's mother had a hospice nurse that could have acted a bit more professional in her work when my mother in law passed away. That is why my wife and I agreed that we want to die at home.
Let others know of your wishes when the time comes. Until then please read these words of wisdom. Good luck.
KIMO RULES
? NEVER JUDGE A DAY BY THE WEATHER
? THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE AREN'T THINGS
? TELL THE TRUTH - THERE'S LESS TO REMEMBER
? SPEAK SOFTLY AND WEAR A LOUD SHIRT
? GOALS ARE DECEPTIVE - THE UNAIMED ARROW NEVER MISSES
? HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS - STILL DIES
? AGE IS RELATIVE - WHEN YOU'RE OVER THE HILL YOU PICK UP SPEED
? THERE ARE 2 WAYS TO BE RICH - MAKE MORE OR DESIRE LESS.
? BEAUTY IS INTERNAL - LOOKS MEAN NOTHING
? NO RAIN - NO RAINBOWS
it is a hard realitly when you see that attitude , it causes more hurt and confusion . trying to understand this corealtion is difficult , you will have confused thoughts always , but the hurt will eventually decrease good luck
It depends.
When studying grief and loss, we are taught that when we experience a major loss (which can be a death, but might not be), we can also experience the loss of our 'assumptive world'... this means that the assumptions we have about the way our world works (ie life is fair, people working in hospices are sensitive, the people around me will always be there etc) are shattered.
Some people react to this by feeling they need to "live life to the fullest" and others react to that knowledge in different ways. There is no "right" way to grieve and certainly no "right" lesson to learn from death.
I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience with the hospice staff. Some people end up in a job that they don't really have the understanding or empathy for, and that's a real shame.
I think that you tried your best to be helpful to the dying person, and I think that you wanted to honor her request that you be there to "assist" her with her passing, but it sounds to me like some things went horribly wrong and it ended up being a very traumatic event for you. For one thing the hospice person sounds totally incompetent, and that definitely needs to be addressed, if you can call the hospice and ask them to PLEASE not send that person to another person and their family because the one they sent was SO VERY un-helpful, that will help you with the anger and the frustration that you feel, and also see if you can find a good therapist or psychologist to talk to for awhile about this. I think you sound traumatized and just what you describe sounds very upsetting, I cannot imagine having to go through that as you did. Also you sound quite young, I may be wrong but perhaps this event was more than someone your age should be trying to handle. I'm not saying you were wrong not at all, not anything like that. But I think you need some assistance from a professional person to help you work through some of this. I will hold you in my prayers, and ask for your healing and for you to have some peace about this situation.