A sensitive question for me any honest answers?!
Question: I cant do a thing about the past, but I was hurt and physically abused and bullied and talked down to all my childhood and youth by people including ex boyfriends who lied about wanting a commitment.
But someone counseled me today and encouraged me to be comfortable with myself. What is a good way on a daily basis to show love and respect to yourself even if you did not get a lot of it from your peers growing up?
How do you start to heal and go forward when one has been broken and defeated?
Thank you in advance for answering my question.
Answers: I cant do a thing about the past, but I was hurt and physically abused and bullied and talked down to all my childhood and youth by people including ex boyfriends who lied about wanting a commitment.
But someone counseled me today and encouraged me to be comfortable with myself. What is a good way on a daily basis to show love and respect to yourself even if you did not get a lot of it from your peers growing up?
How do you start to heal and go forward when one has been broken and defeated?
Thank you in advance for answering my question.
Look at what you did yesterday. Was there anything you did for someone or yourself that made you feel proud? Look at today, try and find something, anything that made the day of one other person. It could be as simple as making that person smile for just a second. Letting a guy with the cane in through the door first. Catching the runaway ball and returning it to the kid who lost it. Just one of those kind of actions in day will make your day shine. As time goes by they will become second nature and you will do more and more of them. As for the nay sayers, the bullies, and everyone else who may put you down, the hell with them. You are a kind and special person. I can tell that from the way that you wrote your question. Now go out and try to make life a tiny bit better for one person a day. If you can accomplish this, you can accomplish anything.
Keep up with the counseling, it takes more than one session.
Have only positive friends and be around happy people.
Sing, like in a church choir or some other group.
1. Love yourself
2. Pamper yourself daily
3. Let go of negative thoughts and feelings
4. Surround yourself with gentle, loving people who accept you for the wonderful person you are
5. Continue with your therapy...you deserve it
kjl
Seriously, give yourself weekly therapy sessions. It is a gift that will keep on giving.
As hard as it is, the first most important step is to forgive those that have done you wrong in the past. By forgiving we are allowing ourselves to move on.
In life we can never allow our happiness to be ruled by other people. We have to love ourselves. I would encourage you to stand in front of the mirror everyday and tell yourself the things you have longed to hear from others. The more times you do this, the more you believe it and before too long nobody will be able to sway your opinion of yourself because you will know it to be true, no matter what others say.
Don't forget to do nice things for yourself and spend some time enjoying your own company.
First, realize that self acceptance is a long process. It will not happen over night. Think about what you want for yourself in 5 or 10 years and set goals that move in that direction. Accomplishments are really good on the self esteem. Remind yourself on a regular basis how you are making improvements in your life and think about how far you have come along already. By asking this question, you are already farther along then you were yesterday.
i can relate, i went through all of this too, and it just takes time...and effort
daily affirmations
journaling
taking time out for yourself, taking a bath, taking up hobbies, do what makes u feel good
cut ties with the negative influences in ur life...when u start to feel better you will strat to notice them in ur life where u hadnt before
its baby steps, one day at a time...
remind urself how resilient you are, u got kicked down but u got back up,and u keep getting back up, u dont stay down...remind urself what uve gone through, remind urself u wont go through it again, u have the choice to respond to what people say or not to...remind urself these peoplea dn the past and even mean people in the future have no power overyou, they cant MAKE you feel bad, you have to let them...thtas ur CHOICE
realize that life and happiness are all about the pwoer of choice...u cannot control other people but you can control how they make u feel and if they can affect you
read positive uplifting stories of triumph or write your own
talk to urself every day like u would talk to a friend...when u start beating urself up or thinking negatively...stop and think...if this were my friend talking like this, what would i say to them? then use that dialogue with urself...remember, no is a better friend than urself
the best affirmation to do every day is, i can handle it, once u start believing that (and it will take a while) it wont matter what comes your way, you will handle it, like u always have and u will have the inner strength and self respect to know that no matter what comes, u can handle it, people or otherwise
empower urself by making a list of what u do and dont want in ur life and dont settle for less...make a list of what u want in a partner and dont settle for less...
write down what u think about urself and then combat each negative on paper with teh truth, the good things...then take that list of good things and read it every day, twice a day, every time u hve a chance
for example:
i'm stupid ....would be....actually im qutie smart, i achieved.....i can read, write, i'm good at .........academcially etc
im useless (i was called this on a daily basis for eight years) turns into...actually im quite useful...i accomplish.....on a daily basis...im good at....i can help people etc...
this turns into a daily monologue of reminding urself of how much of a great person u are
hope this helps, and if u ever need a helping hand, im me
hugs
x
Ask your Heavenly Father to help you each day. And on the days you slip and fall know that He is there and loves you just the same every day.
You start to heal by letting go of the hurts and not holding on to them and find other activities to fill your time like helping others.
You are broken and defeated as long as you want to be. There is great comfort in giving up hope and being a professional victim. Especially if we have been a victim and are good at it. That becomes what we are used to. If you want to change then simply change. If you are not broken and defeated today then then you are no longer broken and defeated. Tomorrow you are welcome to do whatever you want to do to change that. We have this moment right here right now. If you get it right now then you got it right. I hope this makes sense and it will save you thousands of dollars in counseling.
May the Lord richly bless you sis.