How do i deal with living with someone who is depressed?!
Question: i live with my sister and she is always always so negative, depressed, down in the dumps, pessimistic about everything. and i am opposite --until i am around her and she brings me down too. i don't know what i can do for her. she is going to start seeing a counselor soon ..her doctor recommended her going on meds, but if she does, it will affect her life insurance so she chooses not to go on any...even though she needs it. she snaps at me and makes me feel bad more times then not. i cannot move out for financial reasons and not only does she need me, her kids need me too. how can i deal with someone who is depressed all the time?
Answers: i live with my sister and she is always always so negative, depressed, down in the dumps, pessimistic about everything. and i am opposite --until i am around her and she brings me down too. i don't know what i can do for her. she is going to start seeing a counselor soon ..her doctor recommended her going on meds, but if she does, it will affect her life insurance so she chooses not to go on any...even though she needs it. she snaps at me and makes me feel bad more times then not. i cannot move out for financial reasons and not only does she need me, her kids need me too. how can i deal with someone who is depressed all the time?
Having both lived with someone who is depressed and having been depressed myself I can say that being patient and staying calm are both really important. When you're depressed you often hate other people as well as yourself. Try not to take anything she says or does personally.
Everyone suffers depression differently but in my experience you should try to stay as optimistic as possible because it can actually rub off on her. Try doing some activities to do together that you both like. This will foster positive feelings between the two of you as well help to diminish some of the feelings of loneliness she is doubt suffering from. The best activities are ones that require the two of you to cooperate to achieve some goal, I guess like working on a project together.
Get her to exercise if she has the ability. The importance of exercise in dealing with depression is often downplayed.
Give her compliments by focusing on her positive attributes. Don't make them empty or exaggerated.....for example don't tell her she is really smart if she isn't.....focus on a more specific example like "you are really good at crossword puzzles," or "you are really good at remembering people's names." Its sounds stupid but little phrases like these can help boost the mood a little bit.
Don't say empty cliches like "everything will be alright" or "its always darkest before dawn." These overused statements tend to be a one-sized-fits-all substitute for good personal advice. Again be specific to a person and their abilities. Every person has good qualities.....but depressed people only focus on their bad qualities so its helpful if friends and family bring attention to their good attributes.
As for you.....don't get caught in the mind set that its up to you to make her feel better. People (especially family) have the tendency to over-sacrifice their needs for the needs of the depressed person. Make sure you take care of yourself first....it may sound selfish but what good does it do if you get too stressed out.
Again everyone goes through depression differently but the most important thing is have patience.
Maybe your positive attitude could bring her up, instead of her bringing you down?
Tell her to grow up.
sorry, you seem to be misinformed. her medications will not affect her life insurance. what will affect her life insurance is her committing suicide within the first (two?) years of being covered -- they will not pay out for a suicide. perhaps she's planning on offing herself? INSIST she do whatever it takes to fix her attitude about life -- for everyone's sake, not least her kids. it's irresponsible not to treat depression. don't take it personally -- she's ill and part of the illness is thinking she's right when she obviously isn't.
www.depressionsreal.org
go to some motivational speaker person
she really does need to be on meds.... shes not only making HER life harder, but all of those close to her.... if her stomach was hurting she would take meds, if her arm was broken she would take meds, so why is it when people's heads are sick they refuse to take meds.... tell her its just like being sick... except its her mind, cause thats what depression is.... I dont think you can do anything for her... its an illness that needs medical attention
Glad to hear she is going to see a counselor, but she really needs medication, it will help her so much...diagnosed with depression and receiving medical treatment/medication would have no bearing on her existing life insurance policy.
put her on meds, tell her how much you love her, and that she is awsome, and slowly distance yourself from her to a safe level
I doubt that there can be one definitive answer to this - but in essence striving to understand the root causes and addressing those as best as possible may help. I experienced similar circumstances when my late wife was diagnosed with what was eventually to prove a terminal illness. For 2 years we battled her depression together, with my role being that of carer for her and our children.
I studied all that I could find on her illness, spoke repeatedly with The Samaritans for advice and ensured that we did as many things together as a family that could be managed in her condition - her main fear was of course missing out on watching our children growing up. Although there was no 'straight line' of recovery, her depression did ease and had there been a cure for the primary illness I feel sure that a full recovery would have followed.
If you can find even one thing that your sister has some positive vibes towards, perhaps you may find the key to lifting her spirits through that activity?