Feeling Depressed w/ Low Self Esteem?!
Question: I have no idea exactly why these feelings have started but this is what I can muster;
Allllll of my roomates just went on a spring break trip to Florida. I would have loved to go but because of my negative self body image, and current financial situation I cannot go.
or
I just want to be with people that I think generally like me. For some reason I have started to dwell on analyzing peoples actions towards me and how genuine they are. Im guessing alot is fakeness and it all realates back to my negative self body image.
Here are my options the way I see it:
Stop eating
or
Take a plane trip to Arizona to visit a friend of mine and her boyfriend. Would this be counter productive and just be intrusive? IDK if i just need to feel the sun again for a bit or what it is.
This plane thing would be awesome if I didnt have to worry about my mom telling me not to go. I am of legal age [20] and could find the means if i needed to, but I dont want her to worry which is making me worry
Answers: I have no idea exactly why these feelings have started but this is what I can muster;
Allllll of my roomates just went on a spring break trip to Florida. I would have loved to go but because of my negative self body image, and current financial situation I cannot go.
or
I just want to be with people that I think generally like me. For some reason I have started to dwell on analyzing peoples actions towards me and how genuine they are. Im guessing alot is fakeness and it all realates back to my negative self body image.
Here are my options the way I see it:
Stop eating
or
Take a plane trip to Arizona to visit a friend of mine and her boyfriend. Would this be counter productive and just be intrusive? IDK if i just need to feel the sun again for a bit or what it is.
This plane thing would be awesome if I didnt have to worry about my mom telling me not to go. I am of legal age [20] and could find the means if i needed to, but I dont want her to worry which is making me worry
It sounds to me like you are slightly overweight. If you are depressed about this, find someone who you know will be very supportive of you no matter what you do. It doesn't have to be a family member. Just someone who didn't go on that trip to florida who would listen or do anything for you with a simple ask of a question. You will find that these kind of feelings won't be laughed at by that person if they truly are your friend. It is very healthy to talk to someone and not keep it bottled up inside. Who knows, they may be able to offer some insight, and if they can't, they can occupy your time from having thoughts like "stop eating."
There are people who care about you, although you must take the first step. If you hide your depression, then people will not know. Call a friend who you can trust and just talk it out. Tell him or her that you want to have a serious conversation, and just let it out. You will feel so much better if you do.
What do you feel like you really want to do? I mean, if you weren't thinking of what you "should" do. Start a hobby, take a trip, work on feeling better about yourself...
What do YOU want to do?
You sound as insecure as I was at your age. I'm old now and still insecure.
It's real nice in southern Az right now. I'd go to Az! And just stay there! Tell your mom she can come and visit you every once in awhile.
Keep on truckin'
dude, if you need to get away and your mental health is in the bealance then don't even ask your mom. just tell her your going out of town for the weekend, call your friends and ask if you can crash on their cash and offer to help pay them for food or somethng. i went to hawaii for a week and i was revived as a student when i came back. just go for the weekend and you'll feel better.
Why don't you sit down and spend some quality time with YOU. Determine what gives you such a low self-esteem. Is it the way you dress, the way you look or the way you act? Above all else you must be you - be for real. Someone can have the most perfect body and looks and still be ugly inside. As they say beauty is only skin deep. It is what's in your heart that counts. Take the time to examine what would make your self-esteem better? You can work on that. You must know that you are you and there aren't anyone in this world like you. And that makes you special. So stop being so hard on yourself and start working on improving your self-esteem. You can do it !!! Good Luck !!
I think a lot of times we fall into the trap of:
"When i am ________, then i will like myself."
But it doesn't work that way. You'd like to lose weight, but you need to learn how to like and respect yourself no matter what weight you are and to see your good qualities. In fact, i think it's easier to reach our health goals when we are happy with ourselves.
Try to think of three nice things about yourself every day, and keep it in a journal. Look for nice things about your appearance, too. Attractiveness is not just about our physical shape. It's also about our fashion sense and our attitudes. If you think about people who are attractive, they are usually confident and relaxed, right? And they aren't always an ideal shape, are they?
When we like ourselves "only if ____" ...that's [i]conditional[/i] love. It's unconditional love that's really magical. When we love our parents or brothers or sisters or children, we love them no matter what size they are, or if they have problems... and we need to do that for ourselves also.
You really are worth it and a wonderful person. You really are attractive to others. You just need to BELIEVE it.
See self esteem/confidence, in section 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and consider volunteering, even from home, at first. It will also provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I ..(insert activity here).." Section 47 also refers. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated: there are many options; one is sure to suit you. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you . Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at ezy-build also refer. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem, I deeply and completely accept myself". Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are confident, and outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.
EATING PLANS: The idea is to become a grazer, eating mostly low calorie/kilojoule foods, and having several mealtimes, well spaced apart, so you never get hungry. We evolved over millions of years as hunter gatherers, doing that, rather than the farmers we became, during the last ten thousand, or so. ~~~~~ Go to: h t t p : / / c h o o s e d i e t . b l o g s p o t . c o m (you should type it in the usual manner) and select one, possibly changing, later. Eat 6 - 8 small meals, daily, with a little protein in each, preceded 20 minutes earlier with a large glass of water: this speeds up weight loss. Snack on any amount of celery sticks, with the occasional carrot stick, and/or slices of cucumber, tomato, bell pepper/capsicum, or raw onion, in any vinegar (a little salt & pepper/chilli powder is OK, but no oil, or sugar! Rinse your mouth with water, later, if using vinegar. Your body needs a small amount of [ preferably olive, grapeseed, or premium coconut* ] oil, daily, to be healthy: about 2 teaspoonsful, if not getting it in the rest of your food intake already). Understand and accept that many people use food in an attempt to fill an emotional void, which is unhealthy, and never works. Others eat out of boredom, so have plenty of things to keep you occupied. Sometimes I use http://www.stumbleupon.com/ or http://www.coolsiteoftheday.com/ EATING PLANS: See http://www.foodaddiction.org and http://www.ediets.com/ and http://www.oa.org/index.htm and http://www.fatloss4idiots.com EATING DISORDERS: http://emotionalhealth.ivillage.com/... and http://www.eating-disorder-research.com/ and http://www.webhealth.com/wiki/eating_dis... and http://www.edreferral.com and http://www.something-fishy.org/dangers/d... and
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eating_d... and
http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles... and
http://www.addictions.net/ Call EDAP on (USA) 1-800-931-2237 (8am - noon, Pacific Time) & Eating Disorders Center: USA 1-888-236-1188. More at: http://www.coolnurse.com/hotlines.htm EATING DISORDERS (this from http://www.pamf.org/)
847-831-3438 (USA)
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders
Hotline, Counseling and Referrals
(go to http://www.pamf/.org for direct links to these)
Overeaters Anonymous
Find a local group.
(direct link at http://www.pamf.org/)
Weight Watchers
Find a local group.
(direct link at http://www.pamf.org/)
National Eating Disorders Association
Information on eating disorders and referrals for treatment.
Also view hypnotism for weight loss (if fairly suggestible) at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 60. Put: "nutritional type" in the taskbar, at * http://www.mercola.com/ and enter: find out what yours is, and build an eating plan around it for the future: include considerable variety, so that you never get bored with it. My standard post follows, but, if you are young, antidepressants are unsuitable for young people, because they have been shown to increase the rate of suicide, homicide, and aberrant behaviour. See depression treatments, at ezy build, below, in section 2, (much more detailed) or the Myspace blog of shaneris, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors: also seek a referral to a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his associate, and Nathanial S. Lehrmann, MD, Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, at www.mercola.com and many others: avoid antidepressants (pages 2V, and 2Z refer, & antidepressant websites: page 2). The reasons why we all share the same view on this are explained in full, as you will find, if you read it, and section 1. All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments" of the multidimensional approach to treating depression, including occupational therapy, relaxation techniques, and exercise, with others as options, such as the supplements: Inositol, or SAMe, or herbal remedies, like St. John's wort. If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective. The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even weeks to begin becoming effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people. Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, or suicidal, in which case I'd take them). If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels, using the 25 Hydroxyvitamin D test. Optimal levels are 50 - 55 ng/ml (115 - 125 nmol / L. It should be above 32 ng/ml. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult, to achieve. ~~~ Chances are, no matter what you do, she will worry about you.