Strange Obsession !!Urgent Help!!?!
Question: I am below 15 years old, and I have a very strange obsession.I have a boyfriend, but not a steady one and I really, really want to have a baby. I think I would be so much happier if I had one....? the whole Idea seems great to me, a boyfriend, pregnancy, and a baby. I think it's wierd to be this obsessive and to have this craving to have a baby!
Answers: I am below 15 years old, and I have a very strange obsession.I have a boyfriend, but not a steady one and I really, really want to have a baby. I think I would be so much happier if I had one....? the whole Idea seems great to me, a boyfriend, pregnancy, and a baby. I think it's wierd to be this obsessive and to have this craving to have a baby!
I would agree with the other postee that mentioned that you perhaps want to fill a void in your life and feel unconditional love. Being a teen and dealing with one's academics as well as the politics of high school is hard enough let alone caring for and financially supporting a baby. Please be responsible and instead talk with a licensed therapist about your feelings of loneliness perhaps and don't allow yourself to get pregnant (definitely using a condom and/or and perhaps birth control pills) until you have 1) completed your education, 2) are emotionally ready to have a baby 3) and can afford to provide for the baby without anyone else's help (not from state or parents, for example). Having a baby is Not going to be easier than finishing high school and then continuing onto college or vo-tech school following getting a 9a-5p job.
Perhaps picturing yourself having to get up at 2am with your baby screaming and crying while you are half asleep and not being able to calm the baby's cry. Perhaps the baby finally falls asleep at 4am and you are about to collapse. That scenario is not uncommon. It's not healthy for you or an innocent child to be brought into the world just because one can get pregnant. Please talk with your parents about getting some counseling. I'm sure that they don't want to have to raise their grandchild and that's bound to happen if a teen has a baby. Please take good care, and make good choices :)
Being 15 years old, a baby is the last thing you want. It may seem like a good idea to you now but in the long run you would regret it. You would'nt be able to do the things most teens get to do. Try babysitting :)
..and your 15? Stay in school and get an education. When your old enough and mature enough to support your self and a baby, then think about having one.
I felt the same way when I was your age. I was 14 when I met my husband, we waited until I was 23 to have our first child. It was well worth the wait. I wanted a baby young, but I didn't have a job and felt my education at the time was more important. Please think carefully about your decision because it's a lifelong one.
hey sandy. i'm not sure i would call this an obsession, but rather some sort of fantasy/dream. often, when younger teens are interested in a baby, there can be some underlying needs for love and acceptance. if your boyfriend is not a steady one, i almost wonder if you're hoping to have a baby in order to create some steadiness.
but having a baby is BIG responsibility. they require lots more attention and love than they can give back rifght away. if you need some love, seek out the support from friends and family. hold off on having a baby until your ready for the right reasons.
don't babys are worthless thing on earth. all they do is poop and cry. they all look the same, LIKE CRAP!!!
you'll end-up spending all your money on the piece of crap!
they are crap, ugly and i hate them
My sister thought the same thing, got pregnant, had the baby and the father left her. Think about that, single mother 16 years old and no education. How do you think you are going to support yourself and a child. It is a very tough world out there for adults to try to survive these days. Please think about it.
This behavior is called 'filling the void.' People fill it in a number of harmful ways like getting a tattoo or pierced, marrying young (especially younger girls marrying much older men) having children at a young age and drinking or doing drugs.
If you feel you are lacking in your life try some healthy alternatives like traveling to Europe, joining a non-extremist group like an acting troop or Girl Scouts. Volunteer to work in an animal shelter or with Habitat for Humanity.
*NOTE: tattoo or pierced, marrying young, having children: These aren't necessarily 'bad' things, however in my experience working in juvenile halls these activities are accompanied by an inexperience in life and not having the skills to make decisions about long term effects of these actions.
My intentions are not meant to be unkind but you are now still a child wearing a woman's body, your hormones have recently kicked in and this is one of the reasons you want a baby,and likely several more that haven't occurred to you like proving your maturity and ability to excerpt responsibility to yourself and your peer group. Everyone at your stage of physical development has such urges though they seldom admitted it. I strongly advise you to reconsider and as others said stay in school. Grow up mentally and emotionally before starting a family, enjoy these times in your life because these will become memories in later years and now is the time to choose between making precious and bitter ones.
You are going through a very difficult time at the moment. It is not unusual for girls your age to think about having children as your body is in hormonal turmoil. This is why you were given rational thought to combat all those hormones. Take stock in your situation and whether or not having a child would really be a good idea. Im telling you from a medical standpoint that having a child at your age is not a good idea both emotionally, mentally and physically. You are not ready. There is no way you could be. You do not have the emotional or mental maturity. Have a child when you are right with yourself. Allow yourself to live a life that a 15 yr old should be able to live. Go out with your friends, go to parties and school functions. You would not be able to do any of the normal 15 yr old things if you had a child to look after. You have to rest of your life to have a child. You are unable to support yourself and a child if you were to have them. That burden would fall on your parents or care givers. That would be incredibly selfish of you as there is no way you could do it all on your own.
If you want something to care for and to call your own think about getting a small animal like a hamster or a bird. This will allow you to nurse your mothering instincts without burdening you for the next 18 years. I hope you seriously take what I have said to heart as having a child is a choice that you can not unmake when life gets rough.
I think you have other issues that you are avoiding and think that a baby would fix for you. It will not, your bf will not always be around though you think he will. At 15 you can't support a baby nor can you comprehend what motherhood fully is, as you are still a child. Your brain isn't even all developed yet. You may think you are mature, but by this question, clearly you aren't. now to the cost, daycare alone is between 145-164 a week so that is like 600.00 a month just to be able to go to work. Raising a family, rent, auto insurance, food, clothes, you have no idea and its not fair to your child to plan on welfare and foodstamps. YOu should only ever get those if you absolutely need help and are on a plan to get off them such as a student in college. You don't schedual a baby around you, you schedual around a baby. You have no idea. YOu don't just love and hold a baby, you have a responsibility to provide for the child, sacrifice, for the child and always put that child before yourself. Sounds easy, but it isn't . If you truely love children then do them a favor, wait to have one when you can be a good mother and provide. You bring a child into the world now, it will be for selfish reasons and at 15 having a baby by choice, isn't putting the best for a child before yourself, that is being 15 having it to fix yourself, satisfy some need YOU have, all about YOU!!! a baby deserves an adult for a mother, mature, stable, and able to provide a home that isn't under your parents roof. You have a whole life ahead of you, do things like school, college, friends, boyfriend. Don't trap your bf with a baby. Your reasons are all wrong and selfish. if you love kids so much go get a job at a daycare and get your baby fix.
ps, there is no feeling like when you look at your child and can't afford the things it needs and at 15, you will be looking at this child and feeling like that often.
Your not the only one. Every chick ive been with wants a BABY NOW!!!!!!!
:) a baby is a wonderful thing, unfortunately society has made it seam as if its a course, or something horrible and frankly it sickens me. I'm 21 years old, going on 22 very soon, I also want a baby in my life, but having a baby needs alot of thought. I love the fact you want a baby, but I'm sure you can't support it and I'm sure your not ready yet. take a few hours and ask yourself, can you really support a family all on your own? think of all the money you need, your education, because having a baby its not about ones life anymore, but to provide for the baby. if you want a baby you must first work on yourself, so that you can give the baby the future that it deserves, and not the hell alot of people give them. I know that ones you do have a baby your going to be a good mother, but remember, theres alot of planning involved. good luck to you. :) do some online resersh on good parenting, its hard stuff.
I was 20 when I had my first and believe me I was not ready then. Take it from someone that knows about being alone and with a baby....Wait!!!
you may just want to have someone to care for - I suggest getting a puppy and really taking care of it. To know how to properly take care of it, watch the DOG Whisperer show on animal planet. The experience will be great.
I had those exact dreams at your age. I thought a baby would make my life complete...right?..WRONG! i'm 16 now, and am i thankful ididnt have a baby! not only would it affect yourlife and future, it;s not fair on the baby! A child need, a secure home, two happy parents, finnace, and a older mother...lol not all children get these unfortunatly, but you can stop one child from not having that!