Im 18 and i can't grow up!!!?!
Question: ok so i graduated last year and im not in school. anywhere. and i can't seem to get my self motivated to get up get a car, i do have a job im a waitress at 4 star restraunt so i have the money to go out and get a car and get a licens but for some reason im so scared of change, im scared to move out of my house and im scared to be on my own and right now i litterally have no friends for other reasons. So i can't talk to anybody about this can anybody help or give me advice on how you got though this.
thank you
Answers: ok so i graduated last year and im not in school. anywhere. and i can't seem to get my self motivated to get up get a car, i do have a job im a waitress at 4 star restraunt so i have the money to go out and get a car and get a licens but for some reason im so scared of change, im scared to move out of my house and im scared to be on my own and right now i litterally have no friends for other reasons. So i can't talk to anybody about this can anybody help or give me advice on how you got though this.
thank you
I'm 76 and refuse to grow up! The world of adults is full of stressful, anxiety producing beliefs and behaviors that are not really conducive to happiness. So if you can maintain a childlike (not childish) attitude more power to you and I can assure you you will be happier. If you you can remember the state of mind you had at age 4 or 5 (before the adult world really began intruding on your mind trying to control it and influence your beliefs and actions) and assume that state, while at the same time giving "lip service" to the requirements of the adult world in order to survive, you will have found the secret to mental health.
Buying and driving a car is a status symbol for adults but it is dangerous and expensive. I haven't had a drivers licence since age 33 and no longer miss it. The money I have saved on autos, insurance, fuel and garaging has enabled me to put 4 children through college (including graduate school) and saved me much worry and medical expenses about possible and real accidents. If you live in any city of any size public transport is entirely adequate.
As far as being "on your own" you were probably more on your own at the age of five than you are now. True you had the security and love of your parents at that age but that security and love can be found in adult relations and the reason you are afraid now is probably because you haven't succeeded in achieving such relations yet.
My tender advice is to concentrate on making friends and confidants that suit your youthful outlooks; a good place to start this out of school may be a church or synagogue but if you aren't religious, clubs or other social organizations are there to get you in contact with your own kind. Don't be blown away by the TV din of conforming society to succeed, materially, idealogically or status wise. Just be yourself; that self you were at 5. It is a beautiful self.
Good luck non-conforming. good mental health, peace and Love!
JUST go!
cause when u r 18 u STOP growning !!! at ALL !
well you only 18 some 21 yr olds are stuck too. do not rush look at 19 yr old vanessa hudgens you call that grown up (taking pics of herself naked for zac ) your be more grown up anyday.
I didn't own a car until I was 24 and didn't get a license until I was 29. People can live without owning an automobile, and it doesn't mean you're immature.
Being afraid to live on your own isn't so unusual either. For one thing, it's expensive, and for another, it can be spooky to be alone all the time. Find a suitable room mate and learn how to make compromises. This will make living on your own much easier.
It's perfectly normal for you to be afraid of change. When you were in high school you had that secure feeling, but now that you're out of school you're afraid to move forward. Don't rush, when the time is right, (or when your parents put u out....j/k)you'll do what you need to do. Just take things one day at a time
Honestly you may want to see a shrink. Not becasue something is wrong but you need to talk t someone who is not biased. It sounds like you have a real fear of the world and a doctor can help you!
See your doctor about your condition, explain as you have here- could be something that an anti anxiety Rx would help.
I'm scared of growing up, but you have to. I dont wanna live in my moms house my whole life. It's scary, I know. But it can also be exciting. get a car maybe live wioth your parents for a couple more years but then get an apartment close to you home so you cxan still see yuor parents. Try to see the bright side of it, if you need help you have your parents to lean on and help you.
Hey you I'm 18 too. I'm on my own on campus...it's probably not the same...
Go get your license that is a first step! I haven't even gotten an L yet.....which is pretty lame. I'm afraid of change but I still think that being out of highshcool has been a change in itself so keep doing what you're doing - just do it.
Find anyone willing to help you learn to drive and stuff too.
If you meet any ppl at the restaurant, try gettin connections and find people who are older than you to give u advice - there are tons of ppl who go on their own - it's weird and diff but yeah, you gotta be independant sometime. sooner or later
If you want to go the answer is (as Nike puts it) Just do it. Don't sit and meditate, then you'll just find excuses not to go. So just go!!!! Don't think!!! You can think once you get in school :-)
Getting a car and stuff like that doesn't really have anything to do with growing up. Growing up is about being mature. This sounds like an irrational fear. Its probably nothing to worry about. So I wouldn't worry about it.
omg i wish i could move out
Your scared of starting out on your own.
Your only 18. You can gradually ease out of home. You don't have to move out straight away until your comfortable. BUT!! You do need to start making your own way as in Board for your parents!!! and help out with driving!!! So you should get a car and a license! to help your parents out at the least. So you can drive to your job and drive your parents around, or pick up your siblings from school etc.
Why don't you ask your parents for driving lessons to start with. Maybe having a family member to help you will give you confidence or book into having driving lessons once a week with a driving school. This will give you more confidence and the ability to start driving yourself.
When you feel ready and comfortable after getting the car. Ask yourself do you want to go to college and study?
Sometimes going to college and having a goal on what you want to do with your life helps.
You can study at college and STILL live at home until you have finished your course!
when you do decide to move out. Maybe move out with a friend so you are not alone, and you can share the rent and the responsibilities.
I think you should also go and see a doctor or counsellor to help you deal with your fear and anxietys.
But I'd definitely talk to your parents about this and ask them to help you through it.
I'm 48 with the same problem.
Good luck.
As a 19-year old college student, I totally understand where you're coming from. This is a big change; for most of your life (I assume), your parents have been there to help you out with whatever you need, and now you need to start taking care of yourself. It's a lot of new pressure to take on.
But just because you're moving out and growing up doesn't mean that you can't still get help. I'm going to school pretty close to my home town, so if I need anything, my parents aren't to far away. Remember, they're still there for you, even now that you're learning to do things for yourself. Start out slow, learning one new responsibility at a time, and if you get stuck, they'll be there to help.
Good luck!
you have to figure out what you want out of life and if you can't figure that out then figure out what you want in the4 meantime what will make you feel deeply happy and keep yo driving toward the future ..my best wishes to ya....
this is normal, but start with a plan, like first write it all out, put as much detail as you can in your plan, then visualize yourself doing it then you keep going like we say in sales you fake it til you make it. I got so good at this that I visualized sales, dinners, relationships, trips, jobs, studies, and then I did it, it was usually a well thought out plan with a sub plan b just in case
well...girl let me tell you changes are good for any of us....its okey to be afraid of making a move and not feel motivated at this point...your still young...but always remember this the sooner the better....don't ever be afraid of going out there and find your way...don't let life and the years pass you buy because your afraid...we all went through that....start thinking differently...wright down your goals and your dreams just for this year...and start targeting them one by one...go and get your license...be independent if you have the chance to...and if you can...think about it....go out live girl...live life is only one your not going to be 18 for ever....stand up and do your thing...just believe in yourself and encourage yourself...ask yourself why do i want a car for? why do i need a license? always ask yourself why do i need these things for and as you go along you will find your way...just believe in you.....
Our society would make it seem that you magically become an adult at 18. However, growing up is a process, not an instantaneous event. You just got out of school; it's fine for you to live with your parents for a few years until you get some savings built up and such. Don't worry about the car too much either; some people don't get their license until their 20's. Right now I'd focus more on finding friends - maybe join a local club, or find some volunteer work to do after-hours.
Just do want you wanna do.....trust urself...
growing up and moving out is one of those things you have to do to see the benefits of it. once you do it, and see the benefits of it, you will feel better about doing it. but, its hard to do when the first couplemonths of itwillbe painful and emotionally hard. set a date for when you want to be out by and then take necessary steps towards getting there... that will give you time to adjust to the idea so when the datecomes, it wont be so hard (it will still be difficult though, no one grows up without some pain and fear)
Growing up, my cousin and I were the two closest kids you can imagine. When we turned 18, I moved out of my home, he stayed at his home and paid rent to his mom (his choice).
Twenty-one years later, we are both out on our own, both married, and both living our lives. We compared the choices we made back then and realize there was good and bad in our original decisions. While I ended up more confident as a person, he went through less troubles than I did.
Eighteen is just a number that means for most things you are legally an adult. It does not mean you have to rush right out into your own place if you do not feel you are ready for it. The best thing you can do is talk things over with your parents and work it out. If you can live under their roof with their rules and they are willing to let you, there is no reason at all why you shouldn't. It may require some compromise, as it did with my cousin and his mom, but it seems like the best decision for you right now.
My husband also stayed home long after he was 18, in fact, he did not move out of his parent's house for good until right before we met.
As for your friends, if any of them have a better idea for you that you like better, go for it. If they are really your friends, then you should be able to be honest with them about how you feel. Just because your choice is different from theirs, does not mean its a bad one.
you should be excited to go get a car, then you can go places to meet friends or boyfriends adn you will have a life. I hate change also, it makes me scared, but basically we have to grow up and it is scary. i know where your coming from!
maybe you are not ready to be out on your own. Stay at home as long as you can. Do things in small bits. Responsibility is a big and never ending thing being an adult. Things can wait.
Take your time. Enjoy yourself. Life is not a race. Someday you will be so busy that you will look back at this time in your life and think how great it was to have some time to yourself. Just remember to do some things YOU enjoy. Read a book, go to a movie, take a vacation, whatever. There's plenty of time to grow up and get a car and blah, blah blah. You are only young once. Ride it!