I was sexually abused?!
Question: i was abused as a child by some people more then one i know suffer with chronic depression i cant hold a boy/girlfriend longer then a week and i have lost my dad 3 yrs ago this year i have reacurring thoughts of committing suicide and i cant love anyone i find it difficult to love my daughter i dont think i love her like i should it is tearing me apart and all the docs do is put me on tablets i also self harm and have a history of drug and alcohol abuse what else can i do i always get in trouble with the law and i just dont feel like caring anymore please help
Answers: i was abused as a child by some people more then one i know suffer with chronic depression i cant hold a boy/girlfriend longer then a week and i have lost my dad 3 yrs ago this year i have reacurring thoughts of committing suicide and i cant love anyone i find it difficult to love my daughter i dont think i love her like i should it is tearing me apart and all the docs do is put me on tablets i also self harm and have a history of drug and alcohol abuse what else can i do i always get in trouble with the law and i just dont feel like caring anymore please help
I think it will benefit you greatly to find a local support group that helps sexual abuse victims. Also try finding a social worker or therapist who can help you process and resolve those memories. I was suicidal several years ago and seeing a therapist helped greatly. Psychiatrists don't do jack because they just pump you full of meds. The very fact that you're seeking help is a step in the right direction.
as cliche as this sounds
you just need to let it go
were in the future now
that was the past
i hope it all goes well for you
You should probably talk to a psychiatrist.
Go in a giant swing and let go of the pass, worked with some people i watched in this tv show like dr who but it was a girl helping them and do u think what your doing right now is helping your self or making things worse so make a change for goodness sakes
Be strong and tell someone that you need help or if you have a friend on line email them and just vent
wow sweetie that is intense..idk if you are a religious person but when bad things happen in my life i turn to god. it might help you to go to therapy or maybe just get in touch with yourself..try to find some inner peace. i think you might blame yourself for it. trust me i know how it feels to be abused that way and talking about it letting it out helped a lot.
i hope you get better and find some peace. your daughter needs you just remember that.
peace and love.
its awesome your asking for help. your on the right path. counselling, or therapy could do wonders. if you don't like that your doctor is putting you on pills, either get a second opinion, or ask for different ways to deal with your depression.
You dnt need to let it go - thats exactually what you dnt need to do!
See a therapist and get it sorted. EMDR maybe?
Just to add Trustmel.... belows answer is bang on 100%.
DONT see a shrink - they are there to put you under a heading and give out appropriate drugs - which just supress the emotion even more.
EMDR is an amazing tool used by a physcotherapist - this is what you need to be looking at.
Your life was rotten. You were violated in ways that no child should ever have been. Now, however, you are the adult and you are responsible for a child. You have to make some difficult decisions. Are you going to live in the past for the rest of your life and while you do so ruin your daughter's life, too, or are you going to step up to the plate and get the help you need so that even if you can't help yourself you can help that precious child God gave you to protect? Just imagine if the people who abused you had gotten the help they needed. You wouldn't be in the spot you're in now. That's what your daughter needs from you. So that the cycle doesn't continue. If you can't do that for her, then find her a loving family who will think of her and her needs. I'm sorry you had such an awful time as a child, but the only way to heal is to look ahead at the wonderful things your child can have in life because you have decided to say to hell with the past. Find a therapist, not a psychiatrist, and deal with your troubles head on. When you want to drink or take drugs think of that child and think that you are doing to your daughter what your abusers did to you and you will have the strength to keep going.
Oh My Dear Friend...
I can understand how you are feeling.. Stay calm.. You need calm down your self.. You can solve this by yourself. You have to refresh your mind and gain confidence..
:)-
First you need to make sure that your daughter is safe, that she has people in her life who care for her and take care of her. If you cannot manage that, then seek help for her. You probably need to be in therapy. Just make sure you protect your child.
I was sexually abused too as a child, so I can somewhat relate. I've had my fair share of other devastating obstacles, some I'm still dealing with.
In order to heal, you are going to have to forgive, so you don't have to keep living in the past with this hate festering inside you. The goal is to live in the present, not the past. the present is about living your life and not walking though it mostly asleep. Consequently, I don't think anti-depression medication is such a great thing.
Somehow or other you need to find something to live for that lights you up and brings you joy. Here's a quote that has given me pause to think at times:
"That we each get to live at all is so mind-blowingly improbable that we should never stop laughing and dancing and singing about it." Dale McGowan, Ph.D.
For a lot of people, what improves their life is thinking and doing for others. This gets their focus off themselves while at the same time improving their own idea of their self worth.
A good diet and regular exercise is said to be one of the best remedies for depression. I have found this to be so, when I actually practice it. As dumb as it sounds, it also helps to practice smiling. It's something about your mood following your muscles in your face.
I suppose the only other practical advise I have is to at least checkout what a reputable therapist in your area might have to offer you. Perhaps some group therapy?
Don't give up on yourself. You are the only you that you have. Take care!
.
well first off you need to see if someone else can take care of your daughter for a couple months until you can work on getting your life back together.
so many people have gone through tragedies you can't even begin to imagine and they are able to come through alright.
you have as much power as you want. it's all within you even when if feels like there is nothing left.
try medication after medication until one works.
get to a psychiatrist.
people want to help you, because even though people can be selfish priks the majority want to help their fellow man/woman.
your making bad decisions because you have no faith in yourself, your making bad decisions because you have given up. your making bad decisions because if the drama is not there you feel even more alone.
get help.. i dont care who you are or what you've done.. there's help availible for you and you deserve it because your a person, and thats a good enough reason.
you have this one life here on earth don't waste it when it can be anything you want it to be.
and get the child with someone who can take care of her.... love is owning up to your inabilities and doing what is best, and if you can't be there for her 100% thats ok. you first need to be there for yourself right now.
GET HELP NOW WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR..... No more excuses.. helps there, and until you get real true help things will not get better! but they can, and you know it!
regardless of the past....the future is yours for the making.
turn around and face front!...........live while you can, you are already behind.
I don't know how old you are, so I don't know if your daughter is a n adult who is out on her own or a babe in arms. In any case, your depression is affecting the quality of her life and and any attempted or successful suicide would be devastating to her. You should care about that.
Most depressed people I've known end up sleeping all the time or drinking or drugging and sleeping. They get their days and nights mixed up, the windows are dark in the day and they aren't very productive.
So, if that is a problem for you, get yourself on a schedule. Get adequate, but not too much sleep, eat a balanced diet, exercise on a schedule and go about taking care of your responsibilities in a timely manner. Seek out support from trusted friends and family.
On top of this, it would be wise to seek professional help. You need someone to talk all this out with who will be honest and not just tell you what you want to hear. Be willing to sit down and get through it with someone who will call you on your own b.s. Believe me, we all have stories surrounding our experiences and these stories take on a life of their own apart from the experiences we have had, especially when the experiences were traumatic. We fall in love with our own stories and that keeps us stuck in it. We get something out of holding on to all that bs. What we get may only be that we get to be right. Huh, funny, we will even kill ourselves to be right.
Be good to yourself and seek help. You are worth it.