Job -vs- suicidal Mom. What would you do?!


Question: I'm in a tough situation.

I live 6 hours from my home town.
I have a very demanding job, and I'm still struggling to keep this job. I work from home, but check in weekly. If I don't step it up, I May be let go around May. This is my smaller problem.

Problem number 2. My Mom is very very very ill. The doctors can't figure out what is making her so sick, and she has become very depressed. She is so depressed that she has been talking about taking her own life. My father and sister have been doing as much as they can for her. My grandmother is flying down today to help take care of her. But my sister called me and was extremely worried about Mom's mental health today. She told me that I need to come home.

I am afraid that if I take this situation to my boss, that it might jeopardize my job. My husband doesn't want me to jeopardizemy job when there are other family members that can be there with her. But it is my Mom.

What would you do?


Answers: I'm in a tough situation.

I live 6 hours from my home town.
I have a very demanding job, and I'm still struggling to keep this job. I work from home, but check in weekly. If I don't step it up, I May be let go around May. This is my smaller problem.

Problem number 2. My Mom is very very very ill. The doctors can't figure out what is making her so sick, and she has become very depressed. She is so depressed that she has been talking about taking her own life. My father and sister have been doing as much as they can for her. My grandmother is flying down today to help take care of her. But my sister called me and was extremely worried about Mom's mental health today. She told me that I need to come home.

I am afraid that if I take this situation to my boss, that it might jeopardize my job. My husband doesn't want me to jeopardizemy job when there are other family members that can be there with her. But it is my Mom.

What would you do?

I would go see my mom. Your boss should understand that your priority should be your family. She needs you right now. You should look into benefits for family leave at work. Anyway your husband should be removed from the situation. If you think you being there will help your mom then go because if something bad happens you would not be able to forgive him. I agree this is a very difficult situation.

Wow, that is a tough situation. I would first ask my mom if she needs me there. Yes, I would be very worried like you are, but what exactly are you going to do once you're there? Sit around and watch TV, take her out somewhere, just hang out? There are other people there that can do that with her. It nice to have lots of people around you when you're sad, but it's also depressing because then everyone leaves and no one is around. And, your husband is right, you have a life full of responsibilities and bills and you can't just quit. Try taking your days off from work grouped together so you can go see her when you're not working.

That's a really tough question, but I would personally feel like my mother was manipulating me if her behavior shoved me into that kind of situation. The anxiety alone would make me feel powerless and paralyzed.

I hope your mother gets the help she needs, but honestly, your first responsibility is to the family you have created for yourself. Of everyone else involved, the persons who should really be making sure she gets the help is your father, her and her doctor.

Good luck. Perhaps you can visit on the weekend?

this is no tough situation. if it was me, i would tell my boss- bottom line. if there is ANY trace of heart in the person, he'd (she'd) understand your situation. and as far as your husband, i bet if it was his mother- he'd be there in a heart-beat. sounds to me as if he was being selfish.

think of it like this- if something happend to your mom TODAY- and you did not go..because of a JOB and husband, how would you feel? You wouldn't have been there in her final days (times). Wouldn't you feel worse?

A job is temporary..but your mother..that's your MOTHER.

there should be no question in the matter. no matter how many children she has or how much of the family is there, nobody can take nobody's place!

So i say gas the car up and be there for your mother- i'm sure she'd do it for you, with out hesitation or asking anybody their opinion!!!





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