How did you SUCCESSFULLY help your bipolar spouse/loved one?!
Question: I want to hear from people who have successfully helped a loved one to realize they were bipolar. How did you do it?
My fiance is bipolar but is only on anti depressants as that's what they gave him at the hospital during his worst episode (and first one with me). We tried them for a while and they work some but he needs to have his medications changed to something that helps the mania portion of the disorder. He doesn't want to switch meds because the antidepressants have helped some and he thinks he's fixed. He's in denial about the mania. I can't go to the physician with my fiance as I usually do because he is currently going through a mania episode and has left me because he blames all of his problems on our relationship.
Any advice on how to convince him to try switching meds so both the depression and mania can be managed?
Please no "leave him" comments... I have already decided not to do that, he needs my support right now more than ever.
Answers: I want to hear from people who have successfully helped a loved one to realize they were bipolar. How did you do it?
My fiance is bipolar but is only on anti depressants as that's what they gave him at the hospital during his worst episode (and first one with me). We tried them for a while and they work some but he needs to have his medications changed to something that helps the mania portion of the disorder. He doesn't want to switch meds because the antidepressants have helped some and he thinks he's fixed. He's in denial about the mania. I can't go to the physician with my fiance as I usually do because he is currently going through a mania episode and has left me because he blames all of his problems on our relationship.
Any advice on how to convince him to try switching meds so both the depression and mania can be managed?
Please no "leave him" comments... I have already decided not to do that, he needs my support right now more than ever.
Remind him that medication takes TIME to get used to...normally 2 to 3 weeks. Then to stay on the medication long enough to make sure it's working...(or the side effects might be worse than the original problem) It takes time to find the right 'cocktail' of medication to keep him balanced. Around 80% of Bi-polars can be helped successfully by using only Lithium. keep trying (without nagging) to get him to see ; his life will improve when he finds the right medication. Allot of people are in denial about the mania...cause it's a state where things are 'sped-up' and some people get allot done when on that side. And some experience a kind of euphoria. It's the grandiose thinking that is most unhealthy.
As far as the 'leaving him' ...I personally think it's gr8 you care enough and are insightful enough to see ; there IS hope. Good for you. (as long as he remains non-violent, things can work out.)And Bi-polars are rarely good judges of their own 'issues' - Like being 'too deep in the forest to see the trees'
Well, I guess yelling at rats will help.
good luck- I stuck it out for 3 years after 25 years of marriage- didn't work. You will have to be way, I mean way understanding.
I've been married 15 years to a bipolar.....I have found NO help for him. I just know how to deal with it. It isn't fun. We have a good marriage, but it isn't picture perfect. This is a very big commitment your making. Because your not married yet, this really may be the time to say to him if your not willing to really try to get this disease under control, I am not willing to spend the rest of my life tired! Because that is what your going to be. Once your married it is "in sickness, and in health", there is no going back or you will feel guilty. I sincerely wish you all the luck in this and hope he will find a way to make it work out.
First and foremost you cant force him to realize that hes bipolar....and has he ever actually been diagnosed as being so? Like been to a psychiatrist and everything?
It seems as though hes holding back on opening up to you..what you should do is find someone that he is open with and someone that he can trust and discuss the things he has going on in his head..and someone that after he does open up..can talk to him about going to a doctor and getting new meds..and possibly that person go with him to that first appointment..
dont feel hurt if hes not going to discuss all this with you..he probably feels as though your going to leave him because you think hes crazy or something if he were to tell you some of the stuff going on in his head..
also...sometime just give him the chance to talk to you without you giving much opinion just listen to what he has to say...that was probably the hardest thing for me to over come was just listening and not saying much ..but thats how my husband learned he could trust me with some of the stuff that he had going on in his head
Don't leave him! No way. He's halfway there.
Often, antidepressants help the worse part of our mental problems and what results is an 'outcoming" of hypomania, or mild mania. Once the depression is fixed, other parts of mood disorders surface.
This happened to me; I thought I was just depressed. Then I found a good antidepressant, and it took a YEAR for my doctors to realize that I was mildly Bipolar and could benefit from a mood-stabilizer.(there are many).
So, can you convince him? Probably not. Mania is not something people want to let go of, it makes us have energy and feel a little good. But if he's irritable, has swings, stays up late, talks too much sometimes; well you know the drill.
Do not give up. Commend him for finding something that got rid of his depression and be happy for him. Eventually he'll realize that the hypomania is bothersome and can be helped as well with meds.
Just keep trying. And when he has a spell, try very hard to work towards his brain and explain to him. If he's smart (chances are that he is), he may eventually agree with you and his doc to add a mood-stabilizer to his drugs.
Good luck and don't give up! It's treatable.
Antidepressants often induce mania. See ***** below. My standard post follows: There is a test for bipolar disorder at: http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/ (HOW TO TELL - SELF TESTING), but it should be taken as an indicator only! Doctors, who are generally much better with physical ailments, often misdiagnose this condition, for a number of reasons, and years can be wasted in this way, so it is vital that it be correctly diagnosed by an experienced psychotherapist. There are more tests at: http://www.bipolar.com/what_is_bipolar/m... and http://www.psycheducation.org/depression... (diagnosis). Take a sugarless Vitamin C, with half an orange or grapefruit, or the FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice, (not commercially prepared! it must be a natural source, otherwise it will be wasted) to aid in its absorption and utilisation, and also a high quality NATURAL vitamin B supplement, daily, not the cheap, artificial ones, which are less easily digested. Enquire at a health food store. ----------------------------------------... Many people are lacking in the minerals Magnesium, Calcium, and Zinc, so it's a good idea to have your levels checked. Folic acid, or folates have been recommended; a good natural source of these is dark green, leafy vegetables, like spinach, silverbeet/swiss chard, also broccoli. These are best taken with a little lemon juice, or any vinegar. Adopt a fairly natural diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and wholefoods, with minimal or no caffeine, sugar, or processed foods, little salt, and no Mono Sodium Glutamate. Some sufferers abuse alcohol, and other drugs, but this should be avoided. For those in the manic/hypomanic phase, hypersexuality is common, so ALWAYS practise safe sex, and ensure you ALWAYS have PLENTY of protection! (Too many people forget, or say to themselves: "oh, it'll be alright, just this once!": once is all it takes, to contract a STD). ----------------------------------------... Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily, and if you don't get adequate exposure to sunlight in the winter months, replace 2 of them with 2 cod liver oil supplements, or preferably a teaspoon of cod liver oil. I have mine on buttered toast, to ensure its utilisation, and cover with fish paste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste. Although I have never experienced the manic phase, which distinguishes this disorder from depression, or Dysthymia, if I ever did, I would first try Lithium Carbonate, or Lithium Citrate, as my mood stabiliser, since it is reputed to have fewer side effects, or risks, than many of the other recommended medications. For some people, more than one type of medication is required. Other mood stabilisers, such as Lamictal (probably the best alternative mood stabiliser to Lithium) have one significant advantage over Lithium. ----------------------------------------... The necessary dosage for Lithium to be effective, is not far short of where it may become dangerous, so, unless you are good at taking medications, and have a medication organiser, (which is a good idea, because memory often deteriorates with advancing years) or use an alarm/reminder, you would probably be better off using one of the alternatives. Check out any medication first, at www.drugs.com and http://crazymeds.us I find that, these days, I need to install, and observe the reminders that I have programmed into my cellular mobile phone, which is a bottom of the range Nokia 1112, but a $15 Personal Digital Assistant would suffice. A medicine organiser can be a good idea, as well. ----------------------------------------... Lithium is understandably in disfavour with the manufacturers and distributers of psychopharmaceuticals, because they can make much bigger profits on their newer product range, which is still protected by patents. It is one of the reasons why they keep churning out new ones; the other being to keep abreast of, or ahead of the competition. I strongly doubt that the urge to produce a more effective product rates very highly in their thinking, at least at the executive, managerial, and sales levels, although, of course, I would expect them to claim otherwise. View the http://www.depressionperception.com/ and http://www.upliftprogram.com/ websites. ----------------------------------------... It's YOUR LIFE, and YOUR DECISION as to whether or not to fill such a prescription, or just pocket it, and say "thank you", politely, then choose to adopt the multidimensional approach to treating the depressive phase of the disorder. It is important to understand that, during the manic/hypo manic phase, people often feel that they no longer need to bother continuing with those treatments, supplements, and/or herbal remedies. Therapy should be maintained, but by itself, it is insufficient to treat this disorder. One of the excellent ideas I have come across is to make a mood diary, chart, or graph, plotting your estimated mood on a daily basis, and rating it between 0 - 10, above, and below the "neutral" line. This helps not only you, but the others in your life; provides your psychotherapist/doctor with a valuable tool, and enables you to estimate with an increased degree of accuracy, how you are likely to be in the near future (unless you are an erratic or unpredictable cycler in your moodswings). ----------------------------------------... Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (U.S.A.) (800) 826 3632. http://www.bdsalliance.org/ BIPOLAR KIDS: http://www.bpkids.org/ and http://www.parents4bpkids.org/ GENERAL WEBSITES: http://www.bipolarhelpcenter.com/ and http://www.nami.org/ and www.bipolardisorderuncovered.net/ and www.bipolar.com.au/support/library.cfm and http://www.bipolar.co.za/ and http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolar and http://www.socialanxietyassist.com.au/us... has multiple resources. CHATSITES: http://bipolarchat.net/ FRIENDS/FAMILY/RELATIVES: ***** http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/ ***** BLURRING OF BOUNDARIES: I found: http://mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?t... highly informative. HERBAL REMEDIES: Gotu Kola has been recommended by some people, and may be obtained from some health food/vitamin stores, or Natures Sunshine Co. of Utah, U.S.A. ELECTRICAL STIMULATION TREATMENTS: For the depressive phase are addressed on page 2, in depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris ----------------------------------------... AN ALTERNATIVE VIEWPOINT: may be had at http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/a... This includes therapies not based on medications, and also the use of non psychopharmaceutical medications, such as orthomolecular treatment, supplementing the brain with the precursors, (biochemical building blocks) that it may not have previously been able to produce, and which are necessary for proper functioning. Personally, I would try these, but avoid the homeopathic remedies (study homeopathic principles, and how dilute [watered down] such preparations actually are. ----------------------------------------... Some topics in section 10 include: treating bipolar disorder with supplements, vitamins, minerals, and herbal remedies. As with all medications, there are risks, and the possibility of side effects, which is why I inform people of the alternatives, to see if they can cope sufficiently well , without resorting to medications. Don't use medications and supplements together, without medical advice, except for Omega 3, which is safe, anytime. ~~~ Print/refer him, ask him in a letter to request his friends & relatives to provide him with feedback on his recent behaviour, and whether or not it fits with mania, and an indication of the presence of a form of bipolar disorder, of which there are several (there are other possible diagnoses!).
He needs to see a doctor to refill his prescriptions for anti depressants. His doc can't talk to YOU without a release from your fiance, but you can talk TO the doc. So call him/her up and let them know what is happening. Hopefully they can intervene and add lithium or lamictal or something else.
Good luck! I have bipolar but almost always have "insight." so it isn't the same deal.