I know this sounds idiotic - long question?!
Question: For the past year, I've planned to move into an apartment with my friend for college. During this time, she started using cocaine on occasion (we're talking about three or four times so far). She's a cool person, but I know that it's not smart to surround myself with people who do coke, if for no other reason than she might harbor some in the apartment that's under my name. I still can't shake the dream we had of living together, though. Is it possible that this is just a phase for her? Should I live with her for a few months and just kick her out if I find anything in the apartment? She promised not to bring it in. She also wants us to have a third roommate now, who also does drugs sometimes. I don't know anyone else in the town of my college, dorm living isn't an option, and living alone in an apartment sounds socially isolating (I have anxiety, on top of it). Thanks so much for reading through all of this, and for any advice or experiences you can give.
Answers: For the past year, I've planned to move into an apartment with my friend for college. During this time, she started using cocaine on occasion (we're talking about three or four times so far). She's a cool person, but I know that it's not smart to surround myself with people who do coke, if for no other reason than she might harbor some in the apartment that's under my name. I still can't shake the dream we had of living together, though. Is it possible that this is just a phase for her? Should I live with her for a few months and just kick her out if I find anything in the apartment? She promised not to bring it in. She also wants us to have a third roommate now, who also does drugs sometimes. I don't know anyone else in the town of my college, dorm living isn't an option, and living alone in an apartment sounds socially isolating (I have anxiety, on top of it). Thanks so much for reading through all of this, and for any advice or experiences you can give.
Are we going to get caught? What if she says it's mine? Can I go to jail just because it was found in my apartment even if it's not mine? Is she doing it in the apartment when I'm not home? Are there other druggies coming over and doing drugs with her? What if one of her friends gets violent with me while they are high? ANXIETY!!!
Just IMAGINE how much anxiety it will give you to live with someone in this situation. I agree with the other person on here - live alone, make new friends, and invite them over. You'll have the coolest place around because it will be yours only and you won't have to worry about your roomie having a test when you want to party or wanting to party when you have a test...
You can easily make friends in college. Just go down to the gym some time and workout (people love to talk to you when they are working out so they don't actually have to do as much exercise) or play basketball or volleyball (you can make great friends playing sports. Or you can join one of the clubs or social groups on campus. College is the best place in the world to make friends. That's the easy part. The hard part is trying to stay anxiety-free while you live with someone who does drugs. It is rare that someone can be a controlled user - almost never actually. It is almost certainly going to become more of a problem for her. You should stay away from that situation. If she asks why, just say you feel like you need your own place so you can be alone when you want and you can set things up the way you want or something. But don't live with her.
Sounds like its asking for trouble.
Especially if she already wants to bring other users in - avoid the siutation. Live alone. You'll meet other people and be able to invite them over - they will think its cool you live alone.
Just let her snort up, if she misses paying rent, kick her *** out. Plus drugs aren't even all that bad, it's how some people deal with the daily stress. True story.
So you're saying, "I'd love to live with a person who uses narcotics and... she promised not to do drugs ever again so it's ok, right? And I'll put the apartment in my name so if anything happens, I'll be responsible! I know it's not smart but she promises not to do drugs in her own home and I suppose the other drug user she wants to live with won't do drugs either."
Um....not a good idea.
Girl, you are heading for TROUBLE, drugs are not cool to get busted with even if they are not yours, if she wants a third roomy who uses drugs to move in watch out......sounds like party house and tons of trouble...be smart, think hard and keep your head on your shoulders.............and is it worth getting busted to have cool roommates??.....
Oh honey! This is such a sticky situation, and it really sounds like you had your heart set on living with this friend, but please, please, PLEASE don't move in with her, or the new person she's trying to bring in! It is trouble waiting to happen. I know how scary and isolating it is to move out on your own, especially when you don't really know anyone, but plenty of people have done it and come out okay on the other end (myself included). My best advice would be to live on your own, and it might be hard at first, but try to join some clubs at your new school, and talk to one new person in each class, and in no time you should have some safe friends to hang with.
As for the drug situation, maybe this is not the case, but it usually just gets worse. I have friends that are almost 30 that were in this "phase" 12 years ago, but are still at it today. Please don't expose yourself to that junk and all the drama that comes with it.
Get some new friends,
Sorry, I don't mean to sound uncaring.
I think if you have anxiety than you should be up front with her about it and make sure she honestly tells you it wont be in the house. It will just make you more paranoid not knowing if your house is "clean" or not. You will feel alto more confident in being her room ate if you know for sure. I dint know of anyone who's just went through a phase with the drug. Its really addicting from what Ive heard. Its really up to you though. Depends on how much you trust her though..Good luck!