13 with major depression...?!
Question: I'm 13 years old, and right now I'm going through a major depressive episode (says my psychologist). I've been experiencing this for 5 months now, and nothing is helping. When I wake up, it takes every bit of strength I have to get up. I don't feel like doing anything, and I can't even find the desire to brush my hair/teeth and get dressed. My parents are together but I can't talk to either of them about what I'm feeling because of their hectic schedules and their "I don't care" attitudes. I don't have anyone besides my counselor that I'm comfortable with talking to, and that's hardly enough. I have a boyfriend, but I never have time for him. When I DO get to see him, I feel extremely guilty afterwards because I feel like I didn't enjoy spending time with him as much as I should have. I haven't taken any meds because of my parents' disbelief that I'm depressed, even though my doctor keeps telling them that I NEED them and badly. And all of this is topped off by the fact that at school, I have to act like nothing is wrong or I'll be put in detention every week until the end of the school year. I want out, but I'm reluctant to commit suicide on the off chance that I'll go straight to hell...please, I need inspiration and encouragement...
Answers: I'm 13 years old, and right now I'm going through a major depressive episode (says my psychologist). I've been experiencing this for 5 months now, and nothing is helping. When I wake up, it takes every bit of strength I have to get up. I don't feel like doing anything, and I can't even find the desire to brush my hair/teeth and get dressed. My parents are together but I can't talk to either of them about what I'm feeling because of their hectic schedules and their "I don't care" attitudes. I don't have anyone besides my counselor that I'm comfortable with talking to, and that's hardly enough. I have a boyfriend, but I never have time for him. When I DO get to see him, I feel extremely guilty afterwards because I feel like I didn't enjoy spending time with him as much as I should have. I haven't taken any meds because of my parents' disbelief that I'm depressed, even though my doctor keeps telling them that I NEED them and badly. And all of this is topped off by the fact that at school, I have to act like nothing is wrong or I'll be put in detention every week until the end of the school year. I want out, but I'm reluctant to commit suicide on the off chance that I'll go straight to hell...please, I need inspiration and encouragement...
I'm sorry that you're going through such a tough time right now. Nobody but you knows exactly what you're feeling, even your counselor.
Without knowing the details of your life I can give several suggestions, and you can decide if any of them seem to be applicable to your situation.
Sometimes a change of pace is a very good thing in all of our lives. Try taking walks outside. Nature, sunshine, exercise and fresh air are very calming, awe-inspiring, and energizing to the mind and body.
I'm sorry that your parents currently have "I don't care attitudes", but I assure you that if they read what you wrote here, their attitudes would shift. 13 is a very hard age. There are a lot of changes, and parents can't seem to remember that time well enough. You may need to remind them, and ask for their attention. My children actually do that to me. They ask me to play with them, and I realize later that I was clueless as to what they really needed. It may be the same for your parents.
I don't know whether your family can afford it or not, but there is a wonderful all-natural alternative to drugs that you may consider trying:
www.claimyourhealth.freelife.com
Another idea is that it is always motivating to help someone else who is in a worse state than yourself. Whether that be someone you could give a cool pen to that can't afford it, or someone who needs a friend to listen to them, or maybe you could teach someone about a topic or hobby that you're interested in.
When you "love your neighbor as yourself" by giving to someone else, you are uplifted, encouraged and feel so much better.
I hope some of this helps. Feel free to contact me if you would like.
The first step is to take a BIG deep breath! Calm down! Some of the big words confuse me so im not sure if your wanting to comit sucide or not but heres what to do. Have your counselor talk to your parents one on one! Have your counselor show them paperwork showing that you need meds. If he dosent have it already have him start observing you now for the next week or so! No matter what happens sucide is never the anwser. God gave you a life to live. Live it to the MAXX!!!!! Good Luck
Please dont commit suicide, your better than that. Depression is a horrible thing but your actually in a pretty good situation because you have a counselor you can talk to and some people dont even have that. Im not saying that you arent in pain because I have two different counselors and Im depressed and Im in a hell of alot of pain right now but try to look on the plus side, you have a boyfriend, a counselor, you have your life. Believe it or not but thats something very special. So if you want my advice I have to agree with your therapist, take the medication she gave you. Its to help so you dont feel like this anymore. I know you hate waking up in the mornings, maybe you feel like you have nothing to look forward to but if you take the medication that all goes away. Please take them and you'll be in a much better place than you are now. You'll discover how great you truely are and how you dont need suicide because your a strong individual whos still got soo much life left in her!!!
no offense but ur parents are not very understanding. Try going to local church or youth group. I can not tell you how much that has helped me get over depression. i was able to always have somebody to talk to knowing that things would be kept confidential and that i would not be judged. There is so much to do that will keep you active and happy at a youth group/ church. Try praying daily, god has a plan in every one of our lives, no matter what your beliefs are, so keep your head up. I'll be sure to pray for you. I hope you feel better and that you take my advice into consideration. and also if you need somebody to talk to please feel free to e-mail me.
Bret, You stated your problem eloquently. Print out of copy of this and take it to one of your teachers or a guidance counselor. They all have been trained to be able to get you the help you need. Believe me, teachers care. They can explain things to your parents and let them know that you are suffering and in emotional pain. You do not have to act like everything is OK, it is perfectly all right to tell a teacher what is happening and ask for help. Depression is real and it is treatable. I wish you the best.
I dont think its too bad of a thing to not take meds. anti- deppressentants have severe withdrawal and side effects you may learn about long after you submit to medication.
You should also get blood work done....any time you have symptoms of deppression you want to eliminate any thing else that could cause problems. I got diagnosed with hypothyriodism long after I started therapy and meds. and many of my doctors were not forth coming about some of the problems associated with anti-deppressants so I have struggled with the side effects.
You may try to start journaling out your feelings. that is a safe outlet to let out all these thoughts without feeling like your harming anyone. It's sad your parents cant take the time to understand whats going on with you. My parents were a bit of the same. I was treated as if I was overly-dramatic or pleeding for attention. Which I was but for very valid reasons!
It probably doesnt help your deppression at all that your in detention until the end of the school year...that sucks! and probably doesnt help your mood one bit.
I did alot of time in detention myself. I sketched my thoughts, I journaled my feelings, I read books on self-help, buddism, and jain meditation which all helped distract me from feeling so low and to some extent help me feel like I was doing something about it. At home I painted & wrote poetry. Also played sports and stuff but Im artistic so..hey.
If you do decide to take meds I reccomend you research the medication the doctor wants you to take before making a decision, or discussing it thourally with your doctor. I still have to take anti-deppressants myself and it makes it a bit easier to get by those rough edges so I can move ahead in my life.
Just be pro-active in resolving this issue...no one can help you more than yourself
how about a hug? i won't pretend to understand what you're going through. i've been through my share of depressive episodes but none as bad as yours. and i get the fact about wanting to kill yourself and worrying about going to hell (stopped me too). stop worrying about what you're supposed to do (like enjoying your time with your boyfriend when you're with him) and pretending in school and think about yourself. if you get yourself better, then enjoying the time spent with him will be natural. but that won't happen unless you let go of the baggage that you carry around all the time. have you and your counsellor found out the cause of it? cos if you know the cause, then it'll be easier to find the answer won't it?
don't kill yourself. that won't solve your problem. besides, who's to say the other side is better?
You need more than that, by way of effective treatment. Avoid antidepressants, especially since you have obviously had suicidal thoughts. St. John's wort is an option, (with a meal) and definitely use the Omega 3. EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid (omega 3) ----360 mg.DHA (docosahexaenoic acid (omega 3)-----240 mg
take enough supplements to attain, or slightly exceed those levels (no possibility of overdose) of those a day with an orange, or the juice of a freshly squeezed orange, grapefruit, or other antioxidant.
(make sure the epa is higher then the dha) important for adults... kids need the opposite levels more dha than epa. My standard post follows, but, if you are young, antidepressants are unsuitable for young people, because they have been shown to increase the rate of suicide, homicide, and aberrant behaviour. See depression treatments, at ezy build, below, in section 2, (much more detailed) or the Myspace blog of shaneris, and consult a doctor, to eliminate thyroid problems, etc. as possible contributing factors: also seek a referral to a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy.
It is your decision, and yours alone, as to whether to take any antidepressants offered, but, before you do, read section 1, and check medications out at www.drugs.com so you will be on the lookout for side effects, like sexual dysfunction. My strong recommendation, however, is to follow the advice of my doctor, his associate, and Nathanial S. Lehrmann, MD, Marcelle Pick, OB/GYN NP, and Dr. Mercola, at www.mercola.com and many others: avoid antidepressants (pages 2V, and 2Z refer, & antidepressant websites: page 2).
The reasons why we all share the same view on this are explained in full, as you will find, if you read it, and section 1. All of their advice, (except prayer, because many people are not religious) I have incorporated into the "core treatments" of the multidimensional approach to treating depression, including occupational therapy, Omega 3 fish oil supplements, or , preferably, "krill oil", (use the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com/ ) relaxation techniques, and exercise, with others as options, such as the supplements: SAMe, Inositol, or herbal remedies, like St. John's wort. If you are diagnosed with clinical (major) depression, antidepressants may be necessary for a while, which will give the treatments time to become effective.
The antidepressants themselves need at least several days, or even weeks to begin becoming effective. It's a good idea to taper off them slowly, with medical advice, after several months, say, to a couple of years, at most, because they are only effective in the long term for about 30% of people (they will always be there, if you find you can't cope without them). Because of this, you would be well advised to begin the treatments immediately, and maintain them. I'd just thank your mental health care provider, and pocket the prescription, trying the treatments for a few months, to see if they are sufficient for you, before considering filling it (unless clinically depressed, and having great difficulty functioning, or suicidal, in which case I'd take them).
If the amount of daylight you have been exposed to recently has reduced, perhaps due to the change of seasons, see Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) in section 2, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and, instead of taking 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily; replace 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements for the winter months only! (or, as probably a better alternative to the 2 cod liver oil supplements: 1 teaspoonful of cod liver oil, with a little butter, to ensure its use; I take mine on sourdough rye bread, or toast, covered with fishpaste, and pepper, to mask the strong taste). Consider having your doctor test your vitamin D levels, using the 25 Hydroxyvitamin D test. Optimal levels are 50 - 55 ng/ml (115 - 125 nmol / L). It should be above 32 ng/ml. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult to achieve. ----------------------------------------... Have a cup of Ginseng tea, by Celestial Seasonings, on awakening: As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk. Xylitol is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes", which later deplete you of energy. Minimise/eliminate consumption of highly processed foods, particularly grain products, such as white bread, donuts, cake, cookies/biscuits, or anything with sugar. Opt for more wholefoods, non-starchy vegetables, and fruit.
omg your letter left tears in my eyes. I was just with a man who has serious depression. We went out for a year so I understand depression well. First of all I am a adult I am not a kid. I am telling you that suicide is not the answer.
I know your depressed and you feel like there is no hope,but there is. I agree that you probably need to get on meds. I dont know what the laws are. But I would think even if your parents think you dont need them,but a doctor does they can override your parents.
Talk to your parents tell them how you feel. If they are busy make them take time out. I am sure they love you but depression makes you feel like no one cares. If that does not work you go to school and talk to a consular. They know what to do. They will help you.
You can get on meds and you will feel much better. However you might still need to see a counselor along with the meds.
depression is a real sickness. You need to get on meds.
and dont kill yourself please. It will get better hang in there.
I'm sorry to hear your parents' "don't care" attitude. Your parents supposed to pay more attention of what happen to you & should participate in the therapy session too (since you're only 13 and family play a big role for your health). But perhaps your parents are having their own problems right now..or they just couldn't accept the fact that you have major depression. Do you have any relatives that you can talk to? Your grandparents, aunts, or uncles? Or you can ask your counselor to try to talk to them. I'm sure they will help you.. or at least they might talk to your parents that your condition is serious.
My mom had a mild depression last year; she could suddently felt panic w/o any reasons and didn't feel like doing anything. She once told me that she was like someone who lost her soul. It was so frustrating because my dad and my brother didn't care about it & always rejected the fact that she really need help! I myself didn't know what I should do, because my mom would never let me know how she felt. After about 6 months, she tried to be more religious; she prayed every morning and at night. She went to the temple (she is Buddhist) and prayed there. Surprisingly, it worked. My mom was getting better since then. She didn't really take any medicine, coz those medicine only helps for a while and made you addicted to it.
I hope you can find someone to talk to. Or you can try to improve your spiritual life.. it's never hurt to try. Wish you all the best!!!!!
You have your whole life ahead of you. This is probably just a phase that will come and go. It may take time, but it will pass. We all go through these things in our life. Especially at your age. Some parents just do not understand!!!! My father doesn't. My lows in my life have mainly been associated with stress. My father would say "Your just a teenager, there is no reason to be stressed." Well there is. School, peers, family matter, etc all have an impact on your life as a teen. Do what was said before with your parents taking with the psychologist so you will be able to get the medication.
Even without the medication there are still some things you can do.
Find a hobby, force your self up in the morning. Being up an about is so much better than just flipping around in bed not wanting to get up.
EXERCISE is a big thing. It lifts you up in way most medication can't do for you. You will feel better mentally and get in shape in the processes.
Listen to music that cheers you up.
Go outside. Fresh air always boost me up. The natural sunlight make you feel less confined. Even if it is cloudy and raining (with out lightning).....go outside. I love running in the rain. It refreshes me in some way.
Your not the only one that goes through these kind of things. Movie stars, millionaires, and the popular jocks at your school all go though the same thing.
Hey, I am sorta having the same problem as you and I am also 13. I couldn't contact you through e-mail, so I am doing it this way. I just wanted to know, how did you get the strength to ask your counselor? Was it your school counselor? I need to know how you talked to them and everything, please respond. Thank you in advanced.