I want to have a baby but...is it fair considering mental issues?!
Question: I am 27 yr old female. Since a young age I have had emotional/mental issues.Specifically I suffer from severe obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder,depression, and borderline personality disorder. I know it is alot, but they are all confirmed diagnosis. I am on a far amount of medication to control these, Luvox, Oxazepam, Trazodone, Risperidone. I have always wanted children, but I struggle with the decision. Will the meds I'm on now effect my possibly future children? As a side point i also have PCOS so getting pregnant would take alot of work. Is it unfair and selfish to still want to have children? There is currently no possible way I could get pregnant even by accident, as i am not and have never been sexually active. But I just want to get some opinions. What would you do in my situation? Please be kind . If the answer is that I should not have children, how can I deal with that reality espec. since i want them? Thanks in advance for your answers.
Answers: I am 27 yr old female. Since a young age I have had emotional/mental issues.Specifically I suffer from severe obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder,depression, and borderline personality disorder. I know it is alot, but they are all confirmed diagnosis. I am on a far amount of medication to control these, Luvox, Oxazepam, Trazodone, Risperidone. I have always wanted children, but I struggle with the decision. Will the meds I'm on now effect my possibly future children? As a side point i also have PCOS so getting pregnant would take alot of work. Is it unfair and selfish to still want to have children? There is currently no possible way I could get pregnant even by accident, as i am not and have never been sexually active. But I just want to get some opinions. What would you do in my situation? Please be kind . If the answer is that I should not have children, how can I deal with that reality espec. since i want them? Thanks in advance for your answers.
Well honey I guess that is ever womans dream is to have a baby and you need to talk with your dr. and see if all that you have is hereditary and can be passed down to your child, you need to think what you are going thru and say to yourself do I want my child to go thru what I am going thru, that is a decision that you will have to make yourself. I know adoption is not like having your own child but there are so many children out there that really needs someone like you with such a good heart to call mom or mother, I had one daughter she is 32 and I adopted 2 sisters when they were 4 & 6 they are now 21 and 23 and all my kids are the love of my life. I wish you all the luck in the world and hopefully God will heal you and you can have your own child to cherish and love and share a life with ..........Good luck
well...here's the thing
there is a 25% chance the child can have a mental disorder.
i am one of 4, i have ADHD and bipolar disorder...one of my sisters has ADHD but it's not as bad as mine...my dad has ADHD and my mom has depression. since i have ADHD and bipolar disorder...my sisters have a 50% chance of having it too. but only one of my sisters has a mild case of ADHD and the other two are fine.
when you're pregnant...you have to stop taking your medication. so when you know you want to have a child, it's best to talk to your psych about it...you have to ween yourself off of the meds...it takes about a week or two for it to be okay.
but the disorders YOU have may not be what your child COULD have...like i said, my mom has depression probs and i have bipolar disorder...
good luck!
you should consult a doctor above anything else, but if he/she says not, then there is always the option of adoption, its not the same as having your own kids, but you will love them just the same, but like i said, you should talk to your doctor to see how the medicine you are taking would affect the baby/ies. Its not selfish to still want to have children, not at all you are giving the gift of life, and if you cant have your own, then if you adopt, you will be giving life to another child who needs you, prayers for you! good luck
I think you need to talk to your doctor about this issue. Since your are on medication, you need to know how this will effect your baby and how it will effect you if you have to quit taking this medication. As for being a parent, I think you are getting ready to take that step cause you are concerned about the effects you would have on a child. I do not feel that people that have mental health issues that are seeking treatment and facing their issues, should be banned from having children. Only you know if you could really take on this responsibility. I would make sure that when you decide to take that step, make sure you picked the right mate to support you and help raise your child.
First, I would like you too know that you would make a good mother, because if you have put this much thought into how it would effect your future child. You are doing what most parents do everyday, and that is think of what is in the best interest for the children. With that in mind, I would talk with my doctor, preferably a psychologist and an OB doc. It is always best to have a preconception visit with your OB to see what your options are. I know that some of the meds you will have to come off of, they may change some, it just depends on your situation and the meds that you are on, but having a preconception visit and talking with your Psychologist, they can best lead you in the right direction. And Always remember that even if you are not having sex, but want to have children, you should do the preconception counseling.
I also have suffered from depression / anxiety / panic attacks since early childhood. I would not wish this condition on any other being. There is a definite genetic contribution to these disorders. So I am glad I never had children. I can barely imagine how agonizing it would be to look into my child's eyes and see "the look" that goes with severe depression, and know that they got it from me.
In addition to the genetic connection, depression etc can be learned behaviors. When children observe their parents being depressed, they can learn to be depressed. Besides, when we're depressed (at least in my family) we share negativity and that helps teach depression.
If I ever had my self and my life together enough that I felt I would be a good parent, I'd be more likely to adopt.
But raising children is a long term, very demanding commitment that I can't imagine I'll ever be able to fulfill.
And no, it's not selfish to WANT children. It's a major biological urge. Just like your body chemistry contributes to depression, body chemistry contributes to the desire for having kids.
I think you should focus on getting "healthy" first, and then decide if having children is right for you. If you can deal with your life in a healthy productive manner, then I see no reason why you cannot have children.
As far as medications go..
Oxazepam: can cause fetal withdrawl
Trazodone: can cause miscarriages and birth defects
Luvox: low birth weight, health issues in women who've taken it during pregnancy (simple issues like irritability to seizures.)
- no studies done on humans
Risperidone: no adequate studies, but it transfered to the fetus
If you simply go by the medications, you'd be taking a pretty big risk. In that type of situation I would consider adopting or fostering, to enable you to still be a parent but not risk a slew up possible side effects. (Thats just my own opinion of course.. all of this is, but I would rather help a child who has no parent then create one who could be born with a lot of health issues.) Would adoption be a possibility for you? If you don't have issues with it biologically being your child, I think its something that might really be worth looking into.
I don't think pregnancy taking a lot of work, or your other diagnosis to really be an issue. However, the question of your ability to adequately (mentally and physically) care for a child is. If you work on your OCD, and personality disorder (and maintain integral connections with proffesionals to make sure you don't get Postpartum Depression) I don't think you should rule having a child out. It might take a lot of work to get where you need to be, but I think its still possible for you to be a great mother. Its just going to take some work... and the only way you'll know if you can get to that point is to try right?
(Have you talked to your mental health professional about this? They'd be in a better point to assess if you'd be able to do it now, and how much work you need to do to handle it in the future.)