Why can't I let this go?!
Question: I am the mother of a very happy and wonderful boy of 3 years. He was born 11 weeks early because I have a heart shaped womb. He was not ill when he was born but very early which meant that he had problems breathing for a while and had spells where he would stop breathing until he was around 35 weeks gestation. I can't let this go!!!! I still feel he will die!!!!!!!!!!! I am so obsessed with this and it shadows everything I am. I worry about him so much and have so much guilt because it was my fault that he was born so early. I hate this. He is wonderful and I am so lucky that he has no problems for one born so early. Why can't I put this behind me. Wow. I fell better for venting. XXXX
Answers: I am the mother of a very happy and wonderful boy of 3 years. He was born 11 weeks early because I have a heart shaped womb. He was not ill when he was born but very early which meant that he had problems breathing for a while and had spells where he would stop breathing until he was around 35 weeks gestation. I can't let this go!!!! I still feel he will die!!!!!!!!!!! I am so obsessed with this and it shadows everything I am. I worry about him so much and have so much guilt because it was my fault that he was born so early. I hate this. He is wonderful and I am so lucky that he has no problems for one born so early. Why can't I put this behind me. Wow. I fell better for venting. XXXX
I have epilepsy, which is fully controlled my father blames himself as his mother had it
let your son live a fun and varied life hes here safe and well you have done a good job, carry on the good work
word of warning if you worry too much he will eventually pick up on it as i did
Bring him to get a full medical done!
Then you will know if everything is as it should be
I think at the age of 3 he is beyond the extreme danger time. Relax a little and know that all you can do is be a loving, vigilant mother. Raise him right so he can make you proud.
it wasnt your fault you had nothing to do with what your womb is shapped like, thats uncontrolable for you. i kno youprobably do feel bad but you need to let go of the guilt. i was born with the same thing and i never had to go to doctors appointments my body just ajusted to it, so im sure he'll be healthy after a while and you wont have to worry about it
It's Not your fault he was born early. Some woman are told they could never have or carry a baby but do. they say its a gift from god or nature or what ever they don't take credit for why it happened. You don't have to take credit for something bad happening or untimely It was just meant to be
Without sounding patronising have you spoken to your doctor about post natel depression.Its not a bad thing anymore you were not to blame for your sons birth he was a fighter and pulled through you should be proud that you created such a strong little fella.all he needs is to feel safe with you he cant he you dont think that he is safe.
I'm sorry... that's not a fun existance.
Guilt is A WASTE of time...
You did NOTHING WRONG...
Forgive yourself... even though you've done nothing wrong.
I'm glad we could help you vent.
wow your both fighters, nows the time to breathe out and chill,and hey my daughters 13 and my sons 7 and i still worry about them, its called being a mum!!! they will always give us stuff to worry about but then , look at him now prob watching telle doing the actions to a dance or song, look how strong he must have been to fight his way thru his early start, he wont leave you now!!! good luck chick and go give him a hug!!
First, it is not your fault. You were born the way you were born and that's not your fault.
Second, a good counselor is always a good idea to help you vent more regularly and, eventually, come to terms with what happened and realize it is not the end of the world.
Third, the power of prayer can never be ignored when it comes to emotional peace. Get a Bible, go to a church, get involved in a group at your church, say some prayers... anything you can to pray and center yourself and join with God.
Fourth, I just heard about this yesterday and I tried it last night and this morning. It is called Emotional Freedom Technique - one of those ridiculous sounding things that I usually check out for a good laugh. So I went on youtube to check it out and, to my amazement, it seems to be working to some degree. I feel much more at ease today and much more energetic than usual. I don't know if that's just today because my energy level does fluctuate a lot... but, who knows? It could be worth trying since it is so easy and it does at least get you to focus your thoughts.
Best of luck with it all. Remember, you don't just have to forgive yourself, you have to come to know that you are not to blame because of what happened. And do what you can to get closer to Jesus Christ and feel at peace. God Bless you in your difficulties and throughout your life and your son's.
Did you choose to have an abnormally-shaped uterus? Did you arrrange to have your baby early? Did you orchestrate the breathing difficulties? NO....You are feeling guilty over things you had no control of, & it does no good for either you or your son..If you are not able to move on past this situation, you are both going to end up withserious problems..Seek out a therapist for yourself to get on the right track & reset your priorities. You can do this & you are going to be fine, as is your son!!