Am i in an abusive relationship?!
Question: i'm 18 years old and i've been with my boyfriend for a year.
he's the first guy i've ever been with and i fell in love with him last summer.
sometimes he gets this evil look in his eye and he will start like, shaking and he will grab my arms really hard and squeeze or grab my face and squeeze me. he has picked me up and thrown me, pushed me over, even pinched really hard and left a mark. once he threw a chair and it hit my leg and left a bruise.
i'm scared to tell anyone or do anything about it because i dont want him taken away from me. i love him so much bit im so weak and it scares me to death to think about it getting worse.
Answers: i'm 18 years old and i've been with my boyfriend for a year.
he's the first guy i've ever been with and i fell in love with him last summer.
sometimes he gets this evil look in his eye and he will start like, shaking and he will grab my arms really hard and squeeze or grab my face and squeeze me. he has picked me up and thrown me, pushed me over, even pinched really hard and left a mark. once he threw a chair and it hit my leg and left a bruise.
i'm scared to tell anyone or do anything about it because i dont want him taken away from me. i love him so much bit im so weak and it scares me to death to think about it getting worse.
I feel so sorry for you. I definetly know what your going through. Listen, you feel like you love him so much because he has tricked you into thinking that he needs you or visa versa. But the truth is that all you need is to tell someone about it and try to stay away from him
do whats best for yourself and TELL SOMEONE
this is not normal or healthy. YES you are in an abusive relationship.
please so whats right for you.
<3
well...you say he abuses you, yet you say you love him so much and dont wan him taken away form you? I think you need to make up your mind, He's not going to change EVER, so...honestly.....give up, and lose him. Like you said, It's only going to get worse, and you guys have only been together a year., Yeah, I say leave him before he puts you in the hospital or into severe depression.......truuuuuuuuuuuust me, this is the last thing you want, and need.
Yes this is abusive. Noone deserves to be treated this way. You are still so young. Don't settle. Ask yourself this question. Would you want your best friend in this situation? Talk to your friends and family. You will need a support network. Stay strong!
You are!!! do you have anyone that you can trust to get help from. Call the police if it's getting out of hand, make sure you have your cell phone and keys with you all the time. If you still want to stay in the relationship, have a plan to escape if it's getting worse.
Yes, it is. If you're being hurt in any way by his actions then it is abuse. If you're questioning this - especially to others - then you already *know* it - you need to get away from him. This isn't real love and you won't find it until you are away from him.
Also, at eighteen you don't NEED to be in love. It may feel like it - I'm only a few years older than you and it sometimes feels that way to me, especially seeing how others are in the world - but you don't need to be. Maybe you should try taking a little time for yourself to clear your head.
Good luck!
he doesn love u, that's for sure. he has no respect for u n for ur emotion. n ur so young. the first thing u should do is to stay away from him as much as possible, i mean break up with him. even if u do hav a soft corner for him, he might harm u more some day. so save urself.
You need to get away from him... you aren't in love with HIM, you are in love with love....
How could you possibly love someone who physically abuses you?
He is very violent... get out before you end up in the hospital or worse.
Get yourself some help. Be able to defend yourself and know that you're okay even through this. Then, if you do really love him so much...report him. Get him the help he needs too if you want any chance at a future with him.
And if he says no...love him from a far and get the hell out of dodge. Your life is more important that teenaged love.
Sorry to say this but things will get worse. Without a doubt! You need to get out of the relationship NOW!! If you need someone to talk to or help ending it call 211. This is free of charge from any phone and will connect you with United Way. they can give you names and numbers for domestic violence shelters and hotlines. Just call one and go talk to someone. If this guy really loves you then he wouldn't be doing those things to you. You deserve better and I guarantee you will find someone who will treat you with respect.
You know the answer to this. You stated that you were afraid to tell someone because he will be taken from you. So obviously you are in an abusive relationship. But you are the expert on your life. None of us can get you out of this, only you can. I just hope you survive it.
call 800-656- HOPE
This is an abuse hotline
here is another hotline: 240 777 4000
They can also help you deal with your abusive relationship
You may well have a dependent personality, and suffer from a degree of insecurity. Practice one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris They will enable you to emotionally center yourself. Like the others, I too, strongly doubt that he will change, if confronted, so cut your losses, NOW!!! He is not good father material. These calls are all FREE! Be sure to dial the "1" first.
Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling Nineline
1-800-999-9999
Care Net
1-800-395-HELP(4357)
Center for the Prevention of School Violence
1-800-299-6504
Centers for Disease Control AIDS Info
1-800-342-2437
CHADD-Children & Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
1-800-233-4050
Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Children of the World - (if you want to adopt a child)
973-239-0100
Cocaine Help Line
1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)
24 Hour Cocaine Hotline
1-800-992-9239
Covenant House Nineline
1-800-999-9999
Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-548-2722
Domestic Violence Hotline in the US
800-799-7233
Domestic Violence Hotline/Child Abuse
800-4-A-CHILD (800 422 4453)
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
1-800-537-2238
Drug Help National Helplines
1-800-378-4435
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention
1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PT)
Eating Disorders Center
1-888-236-1188
Ecstasy Addiction
1-800-468-6933
Emergency Contraception Information
1-888-NOT-2-LATE (1-888-668-2528)
Family Violence Prevention Center
1-800-313-1310
Food Addiction
1-800-872-0088
Gay & Lesbian National Hotline
1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line
800-850-8078
Gay & Transgender Hate Crime Hotline
1-800-616-HATE
Headache Foundation
1-800-843-2256
Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse)
1-800-477-4111
Help Finding a Therapist
1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)
Herpes Resource Center
1-800-230-6039
Homeless/Runaway National Runaway Hotline
800-231-6946
Incest Awareness Foundation
1-888 -547-3222
Independent Adoption Center
1-800-877-6736 (Hours: 9am - 5pm PT)
Learning Disabilities - (National Center For)
1-888-575-7373
Lyme Disease Hotline
1-800-886-LYME (1-800-886-5963)
Marijuana Anonymous
1-800-766-6779
Mental Health InfoSource
1-800-447-4474
Missing & Exploited Children Hotline
1-800-843-5678
Mothers Against Drunk Drivers
1-800-438-MADD (1-800-438-6233)
National Abortion Federation Hotline
1-800-772-9100
National Adoption Center
1-877-648-4400
National Adolescent Suicide Hotline
800-621-4000
National Association for Children of Alcoholics
1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627)
National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
National Drug Abuse Hotline
1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357)
National Hotline for Missing & Exploited Children
1-800-843-5678
National Inhalant Prevention Coalition
1-800-269-4327
National Institute on Drug Abuse & Alcoholism
1-888-644-6432
National Institute of Mental Health
1-888-ANXIETY (1-888-269-4389)
National Mental Health Association
1-800-969-6642
National Office of Post Abortion Trauma
1-800-593-2273
National Runaway Switchboard and Suicide Hotline
1-800-621-4000
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK
National STD Hotline
1-800-227-8922
National Teen Dating Abuse Help
1-866-331-9474
National Youth Crisis Hotline
1-800-448-4663
National Victim Center
1-800-FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255)
Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
Teen Helpline
1-800-400-0900
TeenLine
1-800-522-8336
WAVE (Working Against Violence Everywhere)
1-888-960-9600
Youth Crisis Hotline
1-800-448-4663
1-800-422-0009
yeahh u r
u can fall in love with someone else because u can have someone that will treat u right....unlike the guy that u r dating
get away from him imeddiatly you are in an anusive relationship you are not i love you just thenk you are because he is the first guy youve been with in a while if you keep seeing this guy it will only get worse plz leave him and forget him if he doesnt stop call someone
A real man will do every thing he can to make his women feel safe. I ask you, do you feel safe? If you are worried about it getting worse. I guarantee you that it will. Tell someone now. Get as much support as you can. There are men in this world that will cherish and love you. There is no reason to settle for someone who treats you this way. God bless you.
is he like austistic or something?
sorry, but call the cops.
it can get much worse....
why would he squeeze your face?
i don't get it...
call the cops, NOW.
please, he might just go deeper in rage and rape you....
please get the authorities into this.
he's manipulating you, but think about it this way.
he gets help, you are safe and you actually live
then maybe you can see him again
but till then, call the cops before he gets so crazy
he rapes you or kills you.
Let me tell you the true story of what happened to a friend of mine's daughter. She too was in "love" with a young man that treated her very much like this guy is treating you.
One day this friend of mine went out of town, only to be called by the police a few hours later. This young man had kicked in the front door of this girl's home, kicked in the bathroom door, and then dragged this poor terrified girl into her bedroom where he shot her in the head!!!!!!!!!!!
He then went out into a field and shot himself
THIS GIRL WAS BARELY 17 YEARS OLD. SHE HAD TURNED 17 ABOUT 2 AND A HALF MONTHS BEFORE THIS GUY CAME AND TOOK AWAY HER PRECIOUS LIFE. This girl would now be 23 years old !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I saw the mother and the father, the mother looked like someone you cannot even imagine. It took the mother at least 6 months before she could even start to function.
Please, please do yourself and your family a HUGE, HUGE favor and get away from this so called "boyfriend" as fast and as far away as you can. DO NOT PUT THIS OFF FOR ONE SECOND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You will eventually find a REAL MAN who will treat you with the respect that you deserve.
BE VERY CAREFUL, HAVE A PLAN TO LEAVE, tell your parents and the police - leave a paper trail so that if there is any more violence than there is evidence and it will make it easier to convict this so called "boyfriend". Keep your cell phone with you at all time, make sure that you keep your gas tank full to be able to escape ( put a lock on it if you must).
Good luck and God bless you.
Yes. I just got out of one. It will get worse. Get help. Here are some informitive websites: www.ndvh.org and www.ncadv.org You can also look in your local phone book for a Women's Resource Center.
Uuuuum YUP. Guess what. IT WILL GET WORSE
That kind of abuse only escalates over time. You know your relationship is not healthy for you or him. You should confide in someone close to you and get some good answers.
Get out of this now!!! Change your phone number, your e-mail address and the locks to any keys he might have. Follow the good advise of other answers too to get yourself help and do it now!!!
Yes you are. I know exactly how you feel. I too was in a relationship like that when I was about your age and it lasted a very long time. I felt trapped. He was also my first boyfriend. He made me believe that I needed him. When I finally got away it felt like such a relief. I am now 33 yrs old and emotionally I am still scarred, but I try not to let it get in the way of other relationships. You need to get away, I wish I had sooner. This could have a long-term effect just like it did for me.
You are in a abusive relationship. I don't know what you are going through but I understand what your boyfriend is going through. Your boyfriend needs help. Most likely psychiatric help along with some medication. If you report it most times it would be known as assualt to some type of degree.I don't want to scare you about this...I think it would be better for your boyfriend to be taken away from you rather than putting yourself in a dangerous harmful relationship.