What do you say to your friend who just lost their 18 year old son to menengitis!


Question: I just dont know what to say. Do I call her. He died at 9:05 this morning at SUNY Oswego. Or do I wait? I cant stop shaking.


Answers: I just dont know what to say. Do I call her. He died at 9:05 this morning at SUNY Oswego. Or do I wait? I cant stop shaking.

Call her, let her know you are there for her. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her. Just knowing you are there for her means so much. Cry with her, just be her friend.

don't call her (she won't pick up the phone anyway) if she's at the hospitol go their personally

Call and say you heard and you are so sorry for what they are going through. See if they want to talk. I think you will get a sense if they would like to talk or not. You may or may not be the one they want to spill this to. If they do, be a good listener.

Are you going to the funeral? If you are, you can talk to her then. My dad said it very eloquently, "words defy me." I can't put into words how terrible I feel for you.

If you aren't going, then perhaps waiting a day or two would be good. This was a very sudden thing and they're adjusting to just be able to talk about it without breaking down. If you're not attending, it would be nice to send flowers, fruit, food, whatever you like. A nice card would be acceptable, and if you have a picture of her son that she's not seen, send that too.

TX Mom

Make sure you have some flowers and a very nice card sent to her saying a few nice short words, order them now so that way they will get to her asap and she knows that you are meaningful and are thinking of her.
I think going there is a much better option she wont want to talk over the phone and would much want a shoulder to cry on. If she has lots of family then you may want to wait a day or so as she maybe overwhelmed with visitors and may want time to herself.

If reasonable, go there, otherwise, save the following in Favorites, or Bookmarks, and refer her: Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter. Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U.S.A.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/gri... and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 Understand that there are often several stages of grief.
The stages are:

Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."
K



The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories